User:The Chicken Ex-terminator
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Chicken "The Ex-terminator" Sunglasses | |
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| The Supreme General of Heaven and Earth | |
| Personal details | |
| Born | Chicken Sunglasses June 6, 626 Tex-Mex Border |
| Died | July 1, 689 (aged 63) Heaven |
| Resting place | Heaven's gate |
| Citizenship | Heaven |
| Nationality | Heaven |
| Political party | God, Angels |
| Children | None |
| Parent | unknown |
| Residence(s) | Midgard School Altar of Godly Figures |
| Alma mater | Midgard school Heaven School for Tertiary Education (HSTE) |
| Occupation | General of Heaven and Earth |
| Military service | |
| Years of service | 646–687 |
| Part of a series on |
| Christianity |
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The Life of The Ex-terminator[edit]
The Ex-terminator was an important and influential figure in the 7th century. In papyrus evidence dating back to 613, prophesies from famous prognosticators indicated the birth of The Ex-terminator, the general who protected Christians all over the World from Satan in the year 666. [1] When his life neared its end, The Ex-terminator received numerous accolades from Jesus for his strenuous effort in protecting his homeland, Asgard and Midgard. Even now, his effort in protecting Earth is highly respected by all peoples on Earth.
Childhood[edit]
The whereabouts of his birth are unknown, but the prophets of Yggdrasil (Lord Brain, Dick, Sir Cockburn) stated that his parents were inhabitants of Heaven who had returned to Earth as spirits. God had conceived of The Ex-terminator two years before his birth, but had decided that his germination period would last two years so as to give him enough time to mature. On January 1, 626, The Ex-terminator was born and his parents returned to Heaven shortly after, and as an orphan, The Ex-terminator crawled on the streets of Texazzz in search of food and shelter. Luckily, a woman who was heading for the local market found him in a dark alley and adopted him. According to the prophets, The Ex-terminator Jones grew into a muscular man who was brave and intelligent, and his name travelled far and wide after he won the National Championship at the age of nine. Approximately 10 years after his adoption, The Ex-terminator left his home unnoticed in search of nirvana.
God's calling[edit]
The Ex-terminator Jones lived on the streets of Texazzz as a hobo. Despite his young age, he was tough and hard-working, so he became an itinerant and received remunerations for helping others. Not long after, God discovered The Ex-terminator in an orphanage after he suffered an illness. As his situation worsened, the medical officers gave up saving him and left him for dead in the same dark alley where his ex-adopter found him. When God found him in the dark alley, his face was already seriously disfigured and needed immediate repair. God displayed his kind and loving heart by saving The Ex-terminator Jones, and bringing him to Heaven, where he enrolled in the Midgard School.
Early life[edit]
In his early life, The Ex-terminator was a student of the Midgard school in Yggdrasil. After graduating from the school as a valedictorian, he entered HSTE (Heaven School for Tertiary Education) and studied a military degree. His teacher Jesus the Son of God converted him to Christianity and taught him military tactics. Jesus discovered his talent in using military tactics and promoted him to the Lieutenant rank after three years of training during the transitional period of 643-646.
When God brought The Ex-terminator to Heaven, he was enrolled in the best school in town, the Midgard School, and continued his studies there. The students at the school include the famous people Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, Jesus (a former teacher as well) and Saint John.
School Life[edit]
At the Midgard School, The Ex-terminator could put his special learning abilities into use and achieved excellent results at school, later becoming the valedictorian in the graduating year. Though his capability in learning was abnormally high, his defence mechanisms were below average and he was constantly bullied by his schoolmates. His enemies used to gather together to discuss how to torture him after they caught him getting good results in class. Due to their malicious acts, The Ex-terminator got stronger and stronger by the day and after a few years of praying, The Ex-terminator could defeat his enemies and prevent himself from being bullied by his classmates. His physique also became more formidable as he joined Jesus's fighting and sparring club, where Jesus discovered his talent in fighting his opponents.
Military academy[edit]
After joining the military academy, The Ex-terminator led a group of ten soldiers as a lieutenant. He participated in the annual camps[2] and won the Champion after numerous rounds of fights in the boxing rings. In the Supreme Academy of God's Followers (SAGF), The Ex-terminator taught his fellow peers sparring techniques and exchanged ideas about military tactics. Under his leadership and guidance, the SAGF grew into a large academy with more than 1,000 freshmen each year. As time passed, it gained membership in the Assembly of Armies under God (AAG)[3] and enjoyed fame in all corners of Heaven. It led one of the largest sectors of the Heaven army. Due to the importance of keeping the SAGF's allegiance, The Ex-terminator Jones was promoted to the rank of Brigadier General and by the time he was 25 years old in 651, he was promoted to the rank of General of the Armies, the youngest to do so at the time.
Prelude to Satan's War Against God (SWAG)[edit]
During the SWAG, The Ex-terminator took an important role in fighting Satanic forces. As the General of the Armies and the Commander-in-Chief of his own sector SAGF, he led a huge army of angels, archangels and principalities against the band of angels and cherubins who betrayed Jesus and the holy order.
In the year 666, when Satan defected to the evil side due to his jealousy of The Ex-terminator being the General of the Armies, The Ex-terminator mobilized the 300,000 angels he had under his command and unleashed a huge storm that ravaged both Heaven and Earth. The storm lasted for years until The Ex-terminator's victory and Satan's banishment into Hell. According to some estimates, rain poured non-stop for 7 days at the height of the war as the Gates of Heaven was occupied by Satanic forces. In papyrus evidence dating back to the 7th century, the storm caused catastrophe all over Earth as plants lost the sunlight required to grow and created a domino effect leading to the extinction of many animal and plant species. At the time, many humans died and only the strong could survive on cannibalism.
Infantry mobilization during SWAG[edit]
On July 1 at 6:66 a.m. Heaven time, Satan sent a secret message to all devils (formerly Angels) and wide-scale fighting occurred simultaneously. The message was as follows:
"Dear brothers and sisters, here we stand today on the Promised Land, defending our sovereignty from border clashes instigated by God's evil forces. Here we stand today, robbed of our right to practice Satanism on our very own land, robbed by the decree our irresponsible ancestors had signed with the angels after the Second Universe War. Here we stand today, guarding against the gradual erosion of our intrinsic values, the values we share as the righteous, as devils. Here we stand today, sanctioning the misdeeds of the angels and encouraging their moral corruption amongst of ranks. Here we stand today, yearning for the power to rule the world, the power that should have been ours, and the birthright of our children. Here we stand today, bullied by our archenemies, corrupted by their influences, and weakened by our inability to fight back against these evil beings. Do we continue to stand here and watch our world fall away from our grasp? Or do we join forces to fight against this menacing influence? Today, brothers and sisters a grave decision has been made. We must wage a war with the angels, and we will do so with all the courage and power we can muster. So let us not turn back in the face of Satan, and may God help us.
History of Hell, ca. 600-800
First, the forces of Heaven gained the upper hand over the Satanic Forces, due to fierce fighting from the Cherubim and Seraphim at Heaven's Horizon. After one day of fighting in Heaven time, the Satanic Forces retreated to the The Chasm and nursed the injured devils back to health. Due to their possession of Black magic, the devils healed almost instantly, and staged a surprise attack once again on the angels by attacking the angels' base camp at Fort Dur. The ambush was highly successful, and the devils inflicted heavy casualties on the angels. However, God intervened in the battle and forced the devils to retreat. Satan was infuriated at the Lord's intervention, as both of them had agreed not to participate in the war at all costs. He decided to retaliate against the angels by causing a large disruption in the Heaven Order. As the most experienced and skilled angel alive, Satan could easily the battle to the devils' side. These string of losses had a huge impact on the angels' morale and war capabilities. Many angels defected to the The Dark Side, greatly improving the strength of the devils.
Battle at Heaven's End[edit]
As the devils closed in on the angels on the battlefield, their fighting ground shifted to Heaven's End. Here, as in Thermopylae, the devils had a significant geographic advantage over the defending angels. Casualties on both sides started piling up, until the devils manipulated the angels' weakness at Heaven's Gate, causing the sky to rain for forty days and forty nights. 5,000,000,000 angels are reported to have been killed in the initial skirmishes between both sides, and by the end of the battle the number had reached 5,000,000,000,000. Satan's war chief Monsieur Candie himself stood at the top of Olympus mons, overlooking the battle and leading his fellow devils to victory after hours of fighting. With archangels at the battlefront engaging the angels in hand-to-hand combat and the archers situated on the mountain slope, the devils formed a formidable force against the angels in this key battle. The angels, which had outnumbered the devils, had been routed at the Battle of Heaven's End, and asked for a truce with the Satanic Forces, appealing for peace and an end to all hostilities. In actuality, they were buying time to recuperate and launch a counterattack, under the guise of forming a truce. Monsieur Candie consulted Satan's advice, and decided to forge the One Ring to honor their agreement, which included the cessation of Earth to Satanic Satellites operating in the Mortal World. The Battle at Heaven's End had resounding influences on the power balance between the angels and devils, as it indirectly caused the Second Migration of Angels.
The Ten Commandments[edit]
The Ex-terminator renewed God's faith in the Ten Commandments by displaying great virtues. Here is the list of Commandments that God implemented on Earth years after The Ex-terminator's sad death.
1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shall have no Gods before me. [4]
2. Thou shall not use my name in vain. [5]
3. Thou shall honor the Sabbath day. [6]
4. Thou shall honor thy mother and father. [7]
6. Thou shall not commit adultery. [9]
8. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbors. [11]
9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. [12]
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's servants, animals or other properties. [13]
Legacy[edit]
Nowadays, The Ex-terminator is recognized as the savior of the human civilization (though his standing is much lower than that of Jesus Christ and is hence much less known than him). His effort in killing Satanic powers in the Battle of Hell[14] is praised by men all around the world. [15] The Ex-terminator is seen in many fascinating churches, such as the one in College Station, Texazzz. The Ex-terminator is a very prominent figure in churches outside of the United States as well, and many ancient churches in Bologne and other European cities have at least one sculpture showing The Ex-terminator as a military commander leading Christian troops against Satan.[16] According to the hymn "Onward, Christian Soldiers", The Ex-terminator Jones led Christians in a large battle where Satan was defeated really badly by opposing forces. [17]
In the 20th century, there was a revival of The Ex-terminator, with many people naming themselves after him.[18] This includes the famous The Terminator and Terminator, who named themselves after The Ex-terminator.
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See also[edit]
References[edit]
- ^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Jones_(singer)
- ^ https://armycadets.com/county/cumbria-acf/resource.../annual-camp2/
- ^ www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/assemblies_of_god.htm
- ^ http://learning.spcc.edu.hk/home/
- ^ https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+20
- ^ https://www.lifehopeandtruth.com › ... › 10 Commandments › The 10 Commandments
- ^ www.godstenlaws.com/ten-commandments/
- ^ www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/command.htm
- ^ https://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/ten_commandments.htm
- ^ www.topmarks.co.uk/judaism/the-ten-commandments
- ^ biblescripture.net/Commandments.html
- ^ www.religioustolerance.org › Religious Laws
- ^ http://learning.spcc.edu.hk/home/
- ^ www.youtube.com/watch?v=5619v2Zc2zE
- ^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKv47l0srIA
- ^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_Romanesque_churches_of_Cologne
- ^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onward,_Christian_Soldiers
- ^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Jones
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