Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 6

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jacob_a1/Frank_W._Lewis[edit]

This is my first article draft, so I would apreciate any feedback. I think the subject is noteworthy enough, but let me know if it's not.

Jacob a1 (talk) 02:26, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I believe it is noteworthy, but I suggest you add your references as footnotes, and format them per Template:Cite web, see WP:CITE for more. - Talk to you later, Presidentman (talk) Random Picture of the Day (Talkback) 02:24, 7 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She's_the_First[edit]

Hi.

I am requesting for review and feedback on the article about this New York non-profit, She's the First.

Thanks

Haengbokhada (talk) 02:33, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. The article seems fine, apart from the obvious orphan tag - is there a list of New York or US non-profits somewhere that could link to it? Cheers,Berek (talk) 22:06, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Creativeagriculture/The_Adventures_of_a_Sexual_Miscreant[edit]

I've completed this article and would like to submit it for review before going live. Thanks!

Creativeagriculture (talk) 05:19, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitas_Communications[edit]

Hi please let me know if this is sufficient or what I need to do to make this article stick! Thanks.

Sabilahe (talk) 12:59, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article has been reviewed and tagged with the issues that need to be resolved, to wit, it does not demonstrate the notability of this communications company, and it reads like an advertisement. A Google search for this company does not provide any indications of notability either. If notability can not be established, the article will likely be tagged for deletion. WikiDan61^ChatMe!_ReadMe!! 13:21, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:19jdbt82/Eastern_Energy_Systems#External_links Check over the main contents and check references[edit]

Should I add Corporate documents to the article? Just want to make sure everything looks ok on this article before posting. Its short. Thank you.

EWKN 15:47, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

Lars Georg Svensson[edit]

I have made several attempts to have someone review this article - can someone plase help me out with this?

MeganHet (talk) 15:59, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I can see that you've put a lot of work into this. Here are some suggestions:

Split it up into separate sections. This makes it easier to read and may help you organize some of the information. For example, you might have one section that contains all the information about his education, and another on his awards and memberships.
Remove the "Dr" from sentences. Wikipedia uses a newspaper style for this, so we write things like "Svenson wrote a book" rather than "Dr Svenson wrote a book".
Consider adding PMID numbers from PubMed to the citations. PMID is a WP:Magic word on Wikipedia, so if you just type PMID 20961243 after the page numbers in the citation, it will automagically create a link to the journal article's abstract at PubMed, like this: PMID 20961243. WhatamIdoing (talk) 23:01, 9 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehreen_Mahmud_%28Bangladeshi_Pop_Singer%29[edit]

This is a article about famous Bangladeshi pop singer Mehreen. Please give some feedback about this article.

Mirazan (talk) 16:03, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, Mirazan! The tag suggests it reads like an advert, and I know what they mean. The article is full of praise for the singer, and doesn't read too much like an encyclopedia article. You might want to read wp:npov for some advice on adopting a neutral tone in articles. Cheers, Berek (talk) 22:27, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tiger of Pilibhit[edit]

Seeking any feedback for improvement of the article.

Regstuff (talk) 17:02, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good as it is, Regstuff - interesting article. Cheers, Berek (talk) 22:12, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

creating on the ground community through social networks[edit]

reliable, verifiable, notable help needed

1709Man (talk) 17:37, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:81.98.147.245/BGRF[edit]

Dear Editors, I would really value your opinion on the page I have put together for BGRF, any comments would be greatly appreciated. Tom

BGRF (talk) 18:16, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ZeroTiger/Amonix_Solar[edit]

An article with a similar title was deleted back in May of this year (I didn't write the one that was deleted), but I'm hoping this one includes sufficient reliable sources to prove notability. I would love feedback from more experienced editors on whether or not this article is likely to be useful to Wikipedia and not get deleted. Thanks!

ZeroTiger (talk) 18:35, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The references supplied do not support the notability of this company. WikiDan61^ChatMe!_ReadMe!! 20:21, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

To be somewhat clearer: To have an article about Amonix Solar, there must be at least two WP:Reliable sources that talk directly and explicitly about this company, by name, at some length. The coverage needs to be "substantial" or "significant", and it cannot be "trivial" or "routine" (e.g., passing mentions, quoting someone who works for the company, announcement about hiring someone). Sources that talk about the kind of solar systems that the company sells are not at all helpful for this purpose (although they are very helpful for other purposes).

Good luck, WhatamIdoing (talk) 20:40, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have created an article for viewing, please review for me ! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Delzhaus/new_article_name_here#References[edit]

I would like volunteer editors to review my article I have written on a Texas Musician for submission. A good reference for history of this artist is www.powertrio.com

Delzhaus (talk) 20:34, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, Delzhaus! Yes, this looks like it could use some work, for instance, wikifying the format, and modifying the text so its more readable. The discography could be listed one above the other in a separate section, and you might need help on external links. Put a message on my talk page if you need more help. Cheers, Berek (talk) 22:18, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Studio117/McDermott_%26_McGough[edit]

This is my first time writing a Wikipedia article. Any advice at all is very much appreciated. Thank you!

Studio117 (talk) 21:19, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

baba mir mohammad sadeghi[edit]

this is about my granDfather and there is no link on internet as MY RESOURCE.

Banihashemi (talk) 21:38, 6 December 2010 (UTC) BANIHASHEMI[reply]

I looked at the article you started here. Wikipedia does not have articles about people unless several WP:Reliable sources have already printed other articles or books about them. These sources do not have to be in English, and they do not have to be available online, but they must exist, they must have been WP:Published, and they must be available to unrelated people (for example, by someone going to the newspaper office to see what the newspaper published).

Some advice on whether the English Wikipedia should have an article about your grandfather is available at WP:BIO. WhatamIdoing (talk) 20:34, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Varied practice[edit]

I'm new to this process and would welcome any comments or feedback on this article. Thank you!

Jasontsmith (talk) 21:41, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It looks pretty good! I see that you figured out the simple author-date parenthetical reference style, which is well-suited to this article.

The most important thing is to address the copyright question that DS inquired about on your user talk page.

Here are a few other suggestions:

Please try to build the web by providing links to other, related articles. You might also consider creating a "See also" section to point readers to existing articles on similar topics.
This article is currently an "orphan". That means that readers at other articles won't know that this one exists. My quick search suggests that a link to this article from Muscle memory might be possible; perhaps you'll find other opportunities.
Are there any more categories that apply? Perhaps there's one on memory.
Do you want to make it easier for readers to find your sources? If so, one easy way to do this is with the WP:Magic words "ISBN" and "PMID". You just type (for example) PMID 12120783 at the end of the bibliographic citation, and it automagically creates a link to PubMed's abstract, like this: PMID 12120783.

You might be interested in joining WikiProject Psychology, a small group of volunteer editors who are interested in psychology-related articles. WP:WikiProjects are good places to meet people and ask questions. WhatamIdoing (talk) 20:23, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babydow[edit]

Should I add more soon?

Modifications: I have modified the arrangement of paragraphs to be more like Wiki format. Wiki experts may later decide if article is notable or not. - Adhir (talk)

Queen Saphire~ (talk) 21:43, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please Review / Edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Boyd_%28journalist%29[edit]

Please Review / Edit:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Boyd_%28journalist%29

Newswatcher2010 (talk) 22:17, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Audovox (talk) 01:35, 7 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]