Wikipedia:WikiProject Tropical cyclones/Assessment/Cyclone Daman

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Cyclone Daman[edit]

Archived discussion. Current status: {{GA-Class}}

With Julians and Dana Boomer's help i have made this article a GA and i think it will be worth giving it a go at A class. Jason Rees (talk) 21:53, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • At first glance, I noticed that the lead is too long. Two moderately-sized paragraphs should suffice. Other than that, an overall copyedit. Also, any more impact? –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 14:09, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I wouldn't mind if the lead was three paragraphs, but an article that size definitely doesn't need a four paragraph lead. Plasticup T/C 16:49, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • ill hack away at the lead later as for impact im not sure there is but ill check around Jason Rees (talk) 18:06, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Right ive hacked away at the lead - Will try for some more Impact Jason Rees (talk) 23:26, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Lead definitely looks better. Edit again when you expand the Impact section, or if you find that it cannot be expanded. Plasticup T/C 00:21, 1 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Very good article :) As stated by Plasticup, any more impact, especially since it did come very close to the island? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:17, 23 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I will have another check around in a minute - i was rather hoping that Gary Padgett would released his summuary for december 07 by now Jason Rees (talk) 20:42, 23 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ok ive rewritten it with a bit more Impact - I now feel that im probbably going to be scrapping the bottom of the barrel for more impact Jason Rees (talk) 00:38, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Here's a quick look at the lede:
    • Severe Tropical Cyclone Daman (RSMC Nadi designation 04F, JTWC designation 05P) was the second Severe Tropical Cyclone to form in the Southern Pacific Ocean during the 2007-08 Southern Hemisphere season. — right off the bat some WP:WPTC/A#B6 problems: what is a "Severe Tropical Cyclone"? (In other words, link to Tropical cyclone scales.) Then you mention the "2007-08 Southern Hemisphere season". Season of what? (You don't mention that it is a tropical cyclone season.)
    • Daman was also the fourth Tropical Depression and the first Severe Tropical Cyclone to form west of 160°E during the 2007-08 South Pacific cyclone season. Due to the severity of the storm, the name Daman was retired and replaced with Denia. — link to tropical depression here as well (or link to Tropical cyclone#Tropical depression as the alternative). Change "to form west of 160°E" to "to form west of longitude 160°E" or similar. (Also double-check in the Manual of Style whether the degree symbol goes adjacent to the number or not, I can't remember.)
    • On December 5 as the depression moved towards the west moving in to the Fijian Archipelago, both the Joint Typhoon Warning Center & RSMC Nadi upgraded it to Cyclone Daman at the same time. — comma splice after "December "; "moving in to" is wrong; don't use the ampersand symbol instead of "and"; use "simultaneously" instead of "at the same time" for more brilliant prose.
    • On December 7 Daman reached its peak 10 minute maximum sustained wind speeds of 105 knots, (120 mph, 195 km/h) which Daman a category four cyclone on the Australian scale. — hyphenate 10-minute maximum sustained wind speeds; "... which Daman a ..." is missing a verb; link to a relevant place for the Australian scale; capitalize Category 4 to match the infobox and common WPTC usage.
    • Later that day Daman also reached its peak 1 minute maximum sustained wind speeds of 110 knots (125 mph, 205 km/h) which made it a category 3 tropical cyclone on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale. — a) is this even necessary in the lede? b) hyphenate as well, and capitalize Cat3 just as I said above.
    • Early on December 8 Daman brushed by the Fijian island of Cikobia, causing some damage to housing, crops and vegetation. — comma splice at the beginning here
    • Daman then weakened the next day in to a tropical depression and then dissipated on December 10. — again, "in to" is only one word.
  • I don't have much time to check the rest, but prose-wise, it needs more to get to A-Class. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 19:37, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ok ive made all the changes up above - ill check the MH though Jason Rees (talk) 20:50, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose.
    • Impact on Tonga?
    • Impact in Fiji is too short. There are very little stats about damage info. Was anyone without power? How did the people die? Any other buildings damaged?
    • Impact is also poorly written. Example:
      • "This was because Daman's eye never made landfall, anywhere in the Fijian Archipelago, thus all the damage came from the outerbands of Cyclone Daman."
      • The sentence is just awkward, and unnecessarily long.
  • That's just a brief overview, but I can't support it as it is. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:32, 28 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All right, guys, like I said, in order to keep this page small, we'll be periodically flushing the page by promoting/archiving pages that become inactive. At this point, we'll enter the "FARC" phase of the review, so it's time to just !!vote under the usual rules to see whether we promote the page to A-Class or not. I'll close this review on 2008-12-31, so please comment in support or opposition to this article's promotion to A-Class. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 08:45, 20 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support
  1. All available information has been used, don't see what else can be put into it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:41, 20 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose
  1. No impact for Tonga, and the WMO does not mention anything about Daman and Tonga. I also think the impact is too short for Fiji. The impact section does not look like a featured impact section (compare to any other FA's, or even any other GA's not written by this user in the SHEM). ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:36, 21 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments

Cyclone Daman[edit]

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the proposal. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. No further edits should be made to this section.

The result of the proposal was closed early as not promoted –Juliancolton | Talk 18:28, 2 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am aiming to FAC Daman soon - but first id like some feedback from the project on it. Jason Rees (talk) 23:17, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • There's no impact in the article for Tonga, despite what the Infobox suggests. Fiji section is pretty short. If there is no more, I suggest combining the section with something else. The overall writing is mediocre - too much passive voice and linking verbs. Overall meteorological details could be better (why did it strengthen/what happened while it was weakening?). As mentioned in the MH, how come it "recurved unexpectedly"? I spot seven typos, including in references, which is pretty bad for an article intended for FAC. One more thing. The lede says "the name Daman was retired and replaced with Denia", but the retirement paragraph says "the name Daman was retired and replaced with the name Drena". That is bad, I'm sorry. This needs a lot of work, and I oppose A-class. --♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:17, 29 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment - wouldn't newspapers have covered this hurricane too? —Ed 17 (Talk / Contribs) 03:51, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm going to have to oppose for now as I quickly found a news source that wasn't used. The article still needs a thorough copyedit to be up to par with A-class. Cyclonebiskit 14:13, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the proposal. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on this talk page. No further edits should be made to this section.
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