Wikipedia:WikiBadger
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
| WikiBadger | |
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| A WikiBadger, they just don't care. | |
Scientific classification 
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| Domain: | Eukaryota |
| Kingdom: | Animalia |
| Phylum: | Chordata |
| Class: | Mammalia |
| Order: | Carnivora |
| Family: | Mustelidae |
| Subfamily: | Mellivorinae |
| Genus: | Mellivora |
| Species: | M. wikicapensis
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| Binomial name | |
| Mellivora wikicapensis (Jimbo Wales, 2014)
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| Range shown in white | |
WikiBadgers (Mellivora wikicapensis) are a form of WikiFauna with the reputation for latching onto whatever crosses their path until something dies or the WikiBadger is cautiously detached and thrown across the room by a very careful admin.
Behavior[edit]
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WikiBadgers are renowned for attaching themselves using their powerful jaws to a target that made the mistake of crossing their path. This is a serious problem when WikiFauna like WikiPuppies and WikiInfants are concerned, but in the case of vandals and other pests, WikiBadgers are useful, if not fun to watch. Badgering is named after extreme examples of this behavior, though a WikiBadger usually does not care unless something has threatened the WikiBadger's family or burrows. Rabid badgers can be quite disruptive before being put down, but a healthy badger normally does not care about anything but defense of the site, to the exclusion of all opinions, prior claims of allegiance, or even simple rules.
Relations with other WikiFauna[edit]
WikiBadgers are quite adept at fighting off illegitimate sockpuppets, vandals, and WikiGoblins, and can even tip the scales in a battle against WikiTrolls (although some trolls are known to wear coteries of badgers as armor), rampaging WikiGiants, and even WikiVampires. WikiBadgers commonly share burrows with and hunt alongside certain species of WikiCanids, relying on the faster WikiCanid to track down prey that the WikiBadger digs out[1] and cleaning up messes left by the WikiCanids.[2] WikiGnomes almost never have trouble sharing space with WikiBadgers, and may even rely on them as valuable mounts when drawn into large-scale battles with giants.
High level WikiWitches and WikiWizards may have WikiBadgers as familiars,[3] although regardless of level, most are capable of magically summoning them.[4]
Despite a number of differences in behavior, WikiBadgers are somehow related to WikiOtters.
Identification[edit]
If you are a WikiBadger and wish to identify yourself, feel free to use this userbox:
userbox
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Recent events[edit]
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Several WikiBadgers have been hunted, enough so that the species is now threatened. Primarily, WikiBouncers and WikiTigers found them to be too disrespectful of newer editors and thus were banished by a council of WikiKnights. While many have redeemed themselves and been allowed back into the animal kingdom, too many became WikiFallen and fed to the WikiGiants. As a result of this, they were declared an endangered species.
In late 2021 a total count in the wild was done and it was discovered they were critically endangered, as only around 10 could be located.
References[edit]
- ^ "Badger-Coyote Associations". ecology.info. Archived from the original on 21 Jul 2011.
- ^ Dale, Thomas Francis (1906). "The fox". Longmans, Green, and Co.: 15–17.
{{cite journal}}: Cite journal requires|journal=(help) - ^ Complete Scoundrel, Mike McArtor and F. Wesley Schneider. Wizards of the Coast. p. 78
- ^ Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition Player's Handbook, by Monte Cook, Jonathan Tweet, Skip Williams. Wizards of the Coast, p. 285
