Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive/21

This page is an archive. Do not edit the contents of this page. Please direct any additional comments to the current main page.

Dietary Supplements

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 19:28, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Healthycare/L-arginine_ethyl_ester
User:Healthycare/Calcium beta-hydroxy-beta-methylbutyrate
User:Healthycare/Guanidinopropionic Acid

I would like to know your opinion on these 3 articles and if they are ready to be moved to the main space. Thank you. J.D. (talk) 13:10, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

Regarding User:Healthycare/L-arginine_ethyl_ester

Looks pretty good.

I didn't like this sentence, L-arginine ethyl ester represents a white powder quickly soluble in hot water in particular, represents. I'm not coming up with a good alternative, but there must be a better way to say this.
The chemical diagram doesn't show up very well. It would look better as an SVG (see Lysine as an example).
If you don't know how to create an SVG, you can put in a request at this place, and someone may convert it for you.
Please add some categories. See WP:CAT if you don't know what this means. See Leucine for examples.--SPhilbrick T 18:51, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

Regarding User:Healthycare/Calcium beta-hydroxy-beta-methylbutyrate:

As above, I don't like the word represents. I also don't like criticising without an alternative, but I haven't come up with a good alternative.
In Physical & Chemical Properties, this sentence Also small amount of heavy metals is allowed (lead NMT 1 ppm and arsenic NMT 1 ppm) is not very encyclopedic. I'm not quite sure how to rephrase it - possibly and may contains trace amounts of heavy metals such as lead and arsenic or just remove it.
I don't like the opening sentence in Side effects, which currently reads No side effects were observed during the intake of calcium ?-HMB, though you should always make sure to keep to the prescriptions.. Either remove, or figure out how to fold it into the subsequent sentences, if it arises from the same referenced study.
As above, the chemical diagram would look better if it were an SVG, although this one is not as hard to read.
Please add some categories. See WP:CAT if you don't know what this means. See Leucine for examples.--SPhilbrick T 22:23, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

William R. Hawkins

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 19:51, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I request feedback on William R. Hawkins The item is biographical note on a conservative writer. Eamonn FingletonEfingleton (talk) 14:29, 19 February 2010 (UTC) (I removed some redundant sections and entries)--SPhilbrick T 18:32, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

I suspect he meets the Notability requirement, but you haven't established that. While you do have some references, I didn't see any that meet the reliable source standard. While the existing references are fine to support the points they are used to support, I didn't see any that help establish his notability. According to his bio, he "has published over 140 articles". Surely some can be linked, but the key is to find some coverage of him in newspapers and other reliable sources.

Assuming you can find those, check out Article Layout to see how an article should be organized, specifically the creation of a WP:LEAD.

Please check out WP:CITE and footnotes, to see how references should be created.

Sorry, sounds like a fair amount of work, but Biographies of living persons are help to a high standard.--SPhilbrick T 23:28, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

metroMAGAZINE

{{Done}} - article deleted as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 19:52, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

user:spiritofomaha/metroMAGAZINE is about a company in Omaha that does monthly magazine publications. Im asking for feedback on this article. SpiritofOmaha.com (talk) 15:42, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

This sounds like an advertisement and lacks a neutral point of view, and I wonder what your relationship with this magazine is given your user name. I also don't know if this magazine is notable. I googled briefly and can't find any reliable 2nd or 3rd party sources that discuss this magazine. Nuujinn (talk) 00:44, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Rapper Fat Tone

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 20:07, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

(FAT TONE User:Originalrecordz/Fat-Tone)

17:48, 27 January 2010 (UTC)BiggKhrisco (talk)

(I removed some redundant sections and entries)--SPhilbrick T 18:30, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

User:BufordWrite/Battersea_(Petersburg,_VA)

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 20:08, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello -

I've created a new page for a historically significant property in Petersburg, VA. I did use the Article Wizard and have tried to include as much info, sources and other details as I can. Any comments or feedback is appreciated as this is my first wiki article. Thanks!!

BufordWrite (talk) 19:37, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

Well, number one, you need to link those references to the actual points in the text of your article. You've got quite a few references there and my brief glance says this is probably okay as a subject matter and the writing looks (from the little I read) to be appropriate. But you need to fix those reference links and check out your categories too. They're all the wrong color. I think it's probably a capitalization problem. Happens to me too -- I'm new, as well. But you look to be off to a good start! In future, it's helpful to put a link to the article in the request itself, too. The title of the request (which becomes a section header) is not linked, so you have to repeat it in the request again, this time, wikilinked. Hope this helps! Marrante (talk) 17:56, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Specifically, check out WP:CITE and footnotes for help.--SPhilbrick T 02:08, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Unknown Sailor of Hindhead, Surrey, England

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 20:10, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Feedback on....

Unknown Sailor please

BTP51 (talk) 22:13, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

I have reviewed and made some formatting edits, in particular removing the white spaces cause by the unnecessary hard line breaks (<br />). Apart from that, looks good! – ukexpat (talk) 18:00, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks. Headings are much tighter now.

BTP51 (talk) 18:41, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

TARGIT, a novel technique for delivering radiotherapy in the operating theatre.

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 21:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I've drafted a page on this in my userspace: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Norman21/TARGIT Please have a look and let me have your comments before I move it into mainspace. Thanks. Norman21 (talk) 19:41, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

I would recommend reviewing our guideline on citing sources, and specifically i would suggest the use of {{Cite journal}}. Specifically, it is not helpful to use abbreviated names of journals on Wikipedia, no matter how common that may be in other publications. Providing a link to an online version of a cited source is very helpful when possible. If the journal has an article on Wikipedia, wiki-linking the name of the journal in the citation can be helpful, but is not required.

Normally I would be inclined to doubt that an experimental technique not yet in general use was notable, but there does seem to be several reliable sources here. Are there any sources that are independent of the group that developed this technique? If not the articel might seem a bit promotional.

There needs to be a clearer explanation for non-technical readers what this technique is, what it does, how it is an improvement on other techniques, and how it fits into a larger context.

Overall this is an excellent start, IMO. DES ^(talk) 06:32, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your helpful comments, which have been incorporated. The result is called TARGIT. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Norman21 (talk • contribs) 17:16, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

There is already an existing article on Intraoperative radiation therapy, and the new article just appears to be an expansion of that stub, so why not merge the content of TARGIT into Intraoperative radiation therapy? There is no reason to have two articles (albeit one a stub) about the same thing. – ukexpat (talk) 17:37, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Tom Laughlin

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 21:01, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Last year, I did substantial work on this article over a period of several weeks. I then submitted it for a Good Article nomination, which it failed. I now know that this was indeed not a "good article". I have been a little busy lately, but yesterday and today I have managed to fix many of the problems the GA reviewer said were wrong with the article and am basically if I get a good response here, I will submit it for a peer-review and eventually good article status. If you look at the article's history you will see that this article was a mess before I began editing it last year.BillyJack193 (talk) 06:00, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Been waiting since last night. I actually expected this to take longer, but please look at articles that have been posted first. Most of what has been posted under me has received comment. And check this out for the version of the article directly before I made my first edit in April of last year. [1].BillyJack193 (talk) 22:13, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

I've looked at the article (it looks good), but I've been mulling over how to respond. I created a few articles, and edited many, but have not gone through the GAN process, so I'm not up to speed on the fine points of what is acceptable and what is not. Frankly, this page is more focused on very new editors (mostly because article wizard creations are directed here. I won't speak for the others who stick their nose in on occasion and respond, but I think most are expecting to help with more basic needs such as adding references. I checked out Wikipedia:Good articles to see if they have a process, but it appears (after a quick read) that you get feedback by submitting it. I gather you are trying to get informal feedback to decide whether you are ready to submit a formal request.

In short, I don't have the requisite experience to help. My suggestion is to visit Wikipedia:Good articles, pick out a couple editors who seem like regulars, and ask them for an informal review. Or you can wait here, and maybe someone will come along and offer thoughts, but requests such as yours are rare (I can't recall any) so it might not happen. Wish I could give you a better answer.--SPhilbrick T 23:48, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Thank you.BillyJack193 (talk) 00:23, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

I'll try to do a copyedit soon. For the moment I've done a massive references overhaul, fixing the dates for everything, adding isbns, changing citation templates to specific (everything was cited using cite journal) etc.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 13:35, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Mitchmarx1/Grad_Associates

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 21:03, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Mitchmarx1/Grad_Associates Mitchmarx1 (talk) 16:06, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Not bad as a start, but additional references are needed to establish notability. One source that is a 4-paragraph story is not really enough. Also, there should be more about what this firm actually did -- mentions of notable buildings or projects on which they worked for example, or innovations that they introduced. None of that should be overly hard to add, i would hope. DES ^(talk) 16:32, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

treezy musician

{{Done}} – ukexpat (talk) 21:05, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

please dont delete my page —Preceding unsigned comment added by Money561 (talk • contribs) 20:29, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

It has been deleted. Please a look at WP:MUSICBIO for the notability guidelines for music people. It would appear that the subject is not notable per these guidelines. – ukexpat (talk) 20:34, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Sinus Dynamics

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 22:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

User:JillianHerbert/Sinus Dynamics

This page was drafted to provide information about sinus dynamics. It basically contains general information about the program and a description of the equipment. I plan to add more to it, but for now, I'd like to review feedbacks so I know how to proceed further. --JillianHerbert (talk) 22:55, 30 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi JillianHerbert. The current version is sourced only to press releases and the subject's own website. What is required for both verifiability (WP:V) and notability (WP:N) is independent third-party coverage. ^Bongo_matic 23:08, 30 December 2009 (UTC)

Request feedback on additional reference/source —Preceding unsigned comment added by JillianHerbert (talk • contribs) 06:10, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Please also take a look at WP:SPAM. At the moment the article reads like a doctor handout. The additional references may help with the notability issue, but they need to be cited in-line, please take a look at WP:CITE for assistance. – ukexpat (talk) 16:45, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Center for Higher Education Policy Analysis

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 22:44, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Stefanir/Center for Higher Education Policy Analysis

The Center for Higher Education Policy Analysis is a leading research center at the University of Southern California.

Stefanir (talk) 01:03, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

At the moment the references do not demonstrate why the subject is notable per Wikipedia's general notability guideline. You will need to find reliable sources that provide significant coverage of the subject. – ukexpat (talk) 20:44, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Bert Morgan

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 22:45, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Bert Morgan Bert Morgan Grandcraft (talk) 21:29, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay. I have reviewed and tagged the article with a couple of "issues" tags. The main problem is references - we need more, in-line, citations to demonstrate the subject's notability per WP:BIO. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:04, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

FAT TONE

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 22:46, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

(FAT TONE User:Originalrecordz/Fat-Tone)

17:48, 27 January 2010 (UTC)BiggKhrisco (talk)

hello design

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 21:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello Design

Helloscott99 (talk) 00:27, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

A bit on the dubious side for notability as it stands. Many of the references appear to be to passing mentions of the firm, not significant coverage, and several seem to be to blogs or other sources that are not reliable sources. The articel needs to expand on why the firm is different from the run of the mill design agency, or why it is significant and important, adn it needs more substantial independent coverage. Still it could be worse for a start. DES ^(talk) 21:15, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Hello Design

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 21:28, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello Design

This is an article about design agency Hello Design, in California. Please review this article.

Helloscott99 (talk) 20:32, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

See comments at #hello design, above. DES ^(talk) 21:20, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

oscar's grind

{{Done}} - deleted as a copyvio. – ukexpat (talk) 21:31, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Please review oscar's grind Goodgrant (talk) 00:22, 23 February 2010 (UTC)goodgrant

I started a copyedit but then discovered that the page was a copyright violation of this website. Please see the message I left on your talk page.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 01:27, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

Canadian Race Communications Association (CRCA)

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 21:32, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

This is my first posting to Wikipedia and I'd appreciate your feedback. I've read the tutorial and many of the other help pages, so hopefully I've got it right.

A great deal of the reference material is personal knowledge, having been involved with the association for the past 14 years as Membership Chair and Secretary. I was involved in coordinating the 50th anniversary celebration and used some of the information gathered from members and former members for the historical data.

Please check out the Canadian Race Communications Association (CRCA) Canadian Race Communications Association (CRCA) Wikipedia entry.

Thank you for your time,

Coolorie (talk) 16:29, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

Your conflict of interest is obvious, and is reflected in the advertising-like, promotional nature of the current draft. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:33, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

Tera-play

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 21:34, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Would appreciate feedback on a new article that I'm working on at User:JessicaTLV/Tera-play. I'm a new editor, this is my first article, so I have done the tutorial and read numerous articles on how to write articles. I'd appreciate any help or advice on both improving my article and ensuring that it is not at risk for deletion. I've also created a talk-page for the draft at User_talk:JessicaTLV/Tera-play Thanks for your help! JessicaTLV (talk) 17:28, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately, it is replete with problems.

You probably see the banner noting it has no references, and you might think that it does, with two entries in the reference section. However, both are links within Wikipedia. Such links are highly encouraged, but not as references. References are always external to Wikipedia. It may seem odd, but Wikipedia does not qualify as a reliable source, Again, internal links are fine, but not in the form of references.
You need to establish that the term "Tera-Play" is used by reliable sources. I did a quick search of news outlets here and came up with nothing. Doesn't mean there aren't any, but they need to be found.
I agree with the banner noting is sounds like and advertisement. It isn't always easy to put a finger on exactly what that means, but phrases like "Tera-play is the next generation of connectivity" sounds more PR than encyclopedic.
"corld" should be "world" (fixed)
"Triple-play" shouldn't be Wikilinked, as it doesn't appear to be related to baseball. Perhaps you meant Triple play (telecommunications). (I'll fix it, as it is easier to fix than explain, but look at what I did, so you see how to do it.)
Check out WP:CITE and footnotes for more help on referencing. --SPhilbrick T 23:01, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

WIkipedia on DJ Enuff

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 21:38, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dj_enuff Missgigi (talk) 22:29, 23 February 2010 (UTC) please let me know if this reads correctly and is properly done..want to avoid it getting deleted again —Preceding unsigned comment added by Missgigi (talk • contribs) 21:36, 23 February 2010 (UTC)

You need to establish Notability with reliable sources. None of your references are formed properly, see WP:CITE and footnotes for help.
The first item in your list of references is a bad link.
I only looked at some of the entries in your reference section, I didn't see any that appeared to qualigy as reliable sources. --SPhilbrick T 00:50, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
You'll also want to check out Wikipedia:MUSIC, which lays out the specific criteria of notability for musicians.--SPhilbrick T 00:53, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Thank all issues have been corrected ie notability, links fixed and references. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Missgigi (talk • contribs) 01:48, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

[ACEC California] "ACEC California" Request for Feedback

{{Done}} - speedily deleted per criterion A7. – ukexpat (talk) 21:37, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

[ACEC California]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACEC_California

content

bg

The American Council of Engineering Companies of California (ACEC California) is a statewide of engineering and surveying firms dedicated to enhancing the consulting engineering and land surveying professions, protecting the general public and promoting use of the private sector in the growth and improvement of California.[1] The ACEC California membership provides engineering, surveying, construction management and environmental consulting services for all project phases.

As of February 2010 the membership includes nearly 1100 civil, structural, geotechnical, electrical and mechanical engineering and land surveying firms. The member firms provide services for all types of public works, residential, commercial and industrial projects.

In November 2000 the California voters by a wide margin approved Proposition 35, a landmark measure sponsored by ACEC California. Prop 35 was endorsed by hundreds of organizations representing taxpayers, seniors, schools, local governments, business, labor, and engineers and almost unanimously by California’s newspapers. This measure authorized state and local governments to engage in public/private partnerships with qualified engineers like those represented by ACEC California to speed up the delivery of transportation, water, education, energy, housing and many other public works projects.[2][3]

Since the passage of Prop 35 ACEC California continues to work with California officials to develop new, more ways to deliver vital new infrastructure quickly, efficiently and cost effectively. Members of the public can find California based engineering and surveying firms through an online, searchable database at www.acec-ca.org.

[edit]References

^ www.acec-ca.org/?pid+39 ^ www.smartvoter.org/2000/11/07/ca/state/prop35/ ^ www.fkassociates.com/prop35.html

—Preceding unsigned comment added by AndrewNeilly (talk • contribs) 00:28, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Your references are not properly formed, see WP:CITE and footnotes for help.

You need to establish why this organization is notable. YOu can read Notability which will suggest finding references to the organization in reliable sources.

Remember, the organization may seem obviously notable to you, but it isn't so obviously notable to others. Sometimes, similar sounding organizations might have very different levels of notability. You have to help us by showing that it is notable.--SPhilbrick T 01:04, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Might need to take a look at WP:SPAM as well. -Reconsider ! 01:21, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Rob Snyder (Robert Lloyd Snyder)

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 21:47, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Rob Snyder (Robert Lloyd Snyder)

Biography of Rob Snyder.

Brendasimpler (talk) 14:15, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Mr Snyder is not really well known except for his leadership of Stream Energy - at least the article as it stands does not say anything else he is notable for. So instead of creating an article about him, you should add a paragraph on him to the Stream Energy article. This is common practice in business-related articles. I hope you are not part of any attempt to use the encyclopedia to promote the company. If you aren't, please accept my apologies. Itsmejudith (talk) 14:26, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Bass500/Shallcross

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 22:07, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Shallcross is a town in Derbyshire. Named after an ancient stone cross, it was once a stop on the Cromford and High Peak Railway line. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bass500 (talk • contribs) 18:56, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

A good start. Spelling: scenery. Are you sure that the area was settled by Danes after the Norman Conquest? This point really needs a reference, anyway. You shouldn't reference Wikipedia in the way you do in your final reference. Your sources should be independent ones. Links to WP articles can go in the text as internal links, or at the end in a See also section. Itsmejudith (talk) 13:15, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Shallcross

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 22:13, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Shallcross Shallcross is a town in Derbyshire, England Bass500 (talk) 19:05, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

i like your show

{{Done}} - ready to archive. – ukexpat (talk) 22:13, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

i feal that you cover teens having babies great although i am a male father who was with my girlfriends and tryed raising my children , you should also look into having a show on the male side when a woman tryies to allienat you has a father from your child this has happen to me three times i want to show peop[le what i go threw on the male side <redacted> tree —Preceding unsigned comment added by 71.20.46.225 (talk) 19:05, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Hello. I suspect, based on your question, that you found one of our roughly three million articles, and thought that we were directly affiliated in some way with that subject. Please note that you are at Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and this page is a help desk for asking questions related to using the encyclopedia. Thus, we have no inside track on the subject of your question. You can, however, search our vast catalogue of articles by typing a subject into the search field on the left hand side of your screen. If you cannot find what you are looking for, we have a reference desk, divided into various subject areas, where asking knowledge questions is welcome. Best of luck. --SPhilbrick T 20:05, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

The Little Lost Child

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. Nice article! – ukexpat (talk) 22:31, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Please review The Little Lost Child. Thank you, Peter (talk) 04:26, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

I like your article, the pictures you have added are great and there's plenty of citations and references to what you've stated. However, I think you should organise the article a bit more, especially in the second paragraph, such as a section about each of the writers, and another section about the history. The first paragraph is great though, it sums the article up really well. Hope my review helps. Chevymontecarlo. 16:58, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Akhil Bharat Vivekananda Yuva Mahamandal

{{Done}} - deleted as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 22:35, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Please review my article on Akhil Bharat Vivekananda Yuva Mahamandal which is an Indian youth organization with about 250 centres in several States of India and drawing thousands of Indian young men every year to the ideals of self development and national reconstruction put forward by the Patriot-Prophet of modern India, Swami Vivekananda. This organization has been working since 1967 and did a considerable amount of educational and philanthropic work. It has been blessed by the respected senior monks of the Ramakrishna Math and Ramakrishna Mission. I have used the website of the Akhil Bharat Vivekananda Yuva Mahamandal for most references.

The Voice of the Mahamandal (talk) 16:45, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

In other words, this is an advertisement for an organization, written by an advocate for the organization, and sourced to the website of the organization! Wikipedia is not here to tell the world about your noble cause! --Orange Mike | Talk 18:39, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

One Step Away (band)

{{Done}} - speedily deleted per A7 of the criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 22:37, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Step_Away_(band)

One Step Away (band)

Please give feedback on the article written on One Step Away band. They are a Pop Rock band hailing from Boston Massachusetts. They have been around since 2007 and will be around for many years to come. We really appreciate your help in this!

Musicroad (talk) 02:52, 1 March 2010 (UTC)musicroad Feb 28, 2010

Lemma about a Greek professor

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi! I have created a page about a Greek professor and academic. He is notable person and world famous because of the invention of two methods for dating ancient artifacts. This is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Nikplas/Ioannis_Liritzis Please, if it is easy, I would appreciate a last check from you before the final upload. Many thanks in advance. --Nikplas (talk) 08:59, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

Looks great on first reading; I'll have a couple specific comments in a couple hours, specifically relating to footnotes.--SPhilbrick T 13:02, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

Oops, ran into a snag working on one of your journal references. I was going to suggest how to improve the footnotes, with an example. I still will, but I'd say you can go live with out. The one thing you might want to address first is "He has written over 200 original papers in international cited journals and 8 books (3 in english)." Do you have a reference? It is an important claim for notability, but isn't referenced.--SPhilbrick T 14:46, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

I am grateful to all of you for your efforts to make this lemma looking right. I will wait for the suggestions to improve footnotes. As for the phrase "He has written 200 original papers..." how can I prove it with a reference? Scopus mention only 82 articles that has at least 1 citation from 1996 up today. But scopus do not index all scientific journals of the world... This link http://www.mediterraneanstudies.org/ms/vol_10.html from MEDITERRANEAN STUDIES ASSOCIATION ( http://www.mediterraneanstudies.org/ ) make a reference to professor's published work. is it acceptable? What you suggest for this lemma if I can't find a reference for this sentence? Many thanks in advance. --Nikplas (talk) 00:03, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

The question would be, how do you know that he's written over 200 original papers? If, for example, he told you this over coffee one morning, that's not a usable reference. If he has a CV that you have access to, that's better, but you'd need to note that it's his claim. I think the url you list is a good reference, but it claims only over 100 articles in international journals, 60 in greek journals, and a few books. I'm also curious if there's any overlap between the greek and international publications. But I'm not sure that the number of articles is really all that important. Nuujinn (talk) 15:07, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Regarding the citation for the paper count, I'd suggest going with the MEDITERRANEAN STUDIES ASSOCIATION link, and adjusting the claim to match the link. Of course, 200 papers is more than 100, but it is better to have a claim supported by a reference, than a stronger claim not supported.

I resolved the "snag" I mentioned earlier.

You can improve the style of the citation by using a citation tool. I like the one you can install by editing your preferences. (Click on "preferences at the top of your page, then the last tab "Gadgets", then look for "reftools" under "Editing Gadgets". Click the box, then "save" at the bottom of the page. Next time you edit a page, look at the toolbar of buttons, and you'll see a new one at the right end call "Cite". Click on it, and choose one of the options, for example, Journal or Web. Then fill in the boxes, and it will create a properly formatted citation for you.

I did an example for you with your first reference.

Before I talk about the reference, I prefer LDR style references, which keep the edited page cleaner. This approach puts a short ref name in the main text, but the full citation is spelled out down in the refs section. Ask me for more info if this isn't clear.

One thing you have to help me with - I don't know whether the "283" is a volume or an issue - I assumed volume, but if it is an issue, look at the reference and change "volume=283" to "issue=283". If you don't follow, let me know and I'll do it.

I think it would help to convert your other online references using this tool.

Nice article, especially for someone new to the process. Thanks for your fine contribution.--SPhilbrick T 15:15, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Dear Nuujinn, I totally agree with your point of view concerning the 200 papers. There is no way to find it, and will be time consuming to read his whole web page to cross check them. As dear Sphilbrick says, and I agree 100%, I prefer a claim supported with a reference than a assumption. So, I adjusted the sentence to match the link. Also added the link to references.

I am not sure I understood what "snag" is...

I formatted all references with the citation tool. Very useful tool! Now the edited page is much more clear.

Thanks for the example. Very helpful.

"283" is the volume. I also added the issue number "issue=5742"

Many thanks for your help and kind words. I planning to help, in my free time, with Wikipedia:WikiProject Archaeology and Wikipedia:WikiProject Greece. Please, tell me if there are other corrections that I have to do or when I can uploaded to the main space. Thanks. --Nikplas (talk) 19:34, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Oups! I think I made a mistace in merging my changes with Sphilbrick's (addition of issn)... I have to re-make refs... Just give me few minutes... First time is always difficult.. :) --Nikplas (talk) 19:48, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Fortunately I had saved a copy of the main text in a notepad! References are ok again! I also added the issn of all journals. Thanks --Nikplas (talk) 20:31, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

"snag" is american slang (I should try to keep to internationalist english), a snag is something sticking out that prevents forward motion (eg, a branch of a fallen tree in a river that catches a boat). Good effort on your article! Nuujinn (talk) 21:12, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for using a colloquial expression "snag". I had tried to convert your refernce intot he proper format, and I hadn't used the "Journal" option before - my first attempt gave an odd result. I looked into it and found my mistake.

This looks good, I'd say ready to go live. Do you know what to do next? (Move it to mainspace). If you want to do it, go ahead, if you don't know what to do, say so and I'll do it. I hope you will continue to contribute to Wikipedia—I'd say the project will have gained a great editor.--SPhilbrick T 23:13, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

There is no problem with the word "snag". One new word to my vocabulary! :) I prefer to move it to mainspace by my self in order to learn how to do it. If I will encounter problems I will tell you! Many thanks for your efforts. Nick --Nikplas (talk) 17:24, 7 March 2010 (UTC)

I moved it and I am very excited! In top of the main page is the sentence "This page is a new unreviewed article." Thanks! Nick --Nikplas (talk) 17:48, 7 March 2010 (UTC)

I pulled the tag for you since it's been reviewed. Good work! Nuujinn (talk) 00:24, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Most Worshipful Prince Hall Grand Lodge of Georgia

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 14:38, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Most Worshipful Prince Hall Grand Lodge of Georgia —Preceding unsigned comment added by Jsnow1 (talk • contribs) 15:00, 29 December 2009 (UTC)

At the moment the tone is not appropriate. It reads like a research paper or essay, not an encyclopedic article. I would suggest that you read articles about other Lodges and see how they are laid out and formatted. It also looks like you have extracted a lot of the source material into the article rather than citing it. Please take a look at WP:CITE for help with citing sources. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 18:33, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Georgesh1/Heroes In the Sky (game)

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 14:39, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello. I am looking for a friendly user who would like to look at my draft that I created. It is about a computer game. The draft page is there as a link. Any inputs, additions, and a little bit of deletion would be welcome.Georgesh1 (talk) 3:39, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

You will need to find a few more reliable sources to demonstrate the notability of the game per WP:N. Significant coverage is required and the current single source is not sufficient. – ukexpat (talk) 21:35, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Chris Kovarik

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:39, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

I have juts written my first article on Austrialian mountain bike legend Chris Kovarik and would appreciate any opinions/feeds back on the article. You can find it in my userspace here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TinaEPO/Chris_Kovarik —Preceding unsigned comment added by TinaEPO (talk • contribs) 15:54, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

The article is at the moment completely unsourced. You will need to add some references to reliable sources to demonstrate the subject's notability per WP:ATHLETE. I have tagged the article accordingly. – ukexpat (talk) 22:03, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

LocalEats

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 14:40, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Cathrjohnson/LocalEats

Summary of new article: Description of website/smartphone app/book series LocalEats, published by Where The Locals Eat.

This is my first article, so any advice is very much welcome! Thanks.

Cathrjohnson —Preceding unsigned comment added by Cathrjohnson (talk • contribs) 17:57, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

It reads like an advertisement--if you could flesh it out with some additional references that would be helpful. But you do have I think enough decent references for notability. Nuujinn (talk) 12:39, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

The National Institute for Metalworking Skills

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 14:41, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Nims22030/new NIMS - —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nims22030 (talk • contribs)

There are a couple of major problems with the draft as it stands now. First, it does not have any references to reliable sources demonstrating how or why the subject meets the notability guidelines set out at WP:ORG; second, it is rather promotional in tone (see WP:SPAM) and will need to be toned down before moving to the mainspace. – ukexpat (talk) 18:51, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Draft article

The National Institute for Metalworking Skills (NIMS) was formed in 1995 by the metalworking trade associations to develop and maintain globally competitive American workforce. NIMS sets skills standards for the industry, certifies individual skills against the standards and accredits training programs that meet NIMS quality requirements.

NIMS operates under rigorous and highly disciplined processes as the only developer of American National Standards for the nation’s metalworking industry accredited by the American National Standards Institute (ANSI).

NIMS Stakeholders

NIMS has a stakeholder base of over 6,000 metalworking companies. The major trade associations in the industry- the Association for Manufacturing Technology, the American Machine Tool Distributors' Association, the National Tooling & Machining Association, the Precision Machine Products Association, the Precision Metalforming Association, and the Tooling and Manufacturing Association have invested over $7.5 million in private funds for the development of the NIMS standards and its credentials. The associations also contribute annually to sustain NIMS operations and are committed to the upgrading and maintenance of the standards.

NIMS Program Accreditation

NIMS accredits training programs that meet its quality requirements. The NIMS accreditation requirements include an on-site audit and evaluation by a NIMS industry team that reviews and conducts on-site inspections of all aspects of the training programs, including administrative support, curriculum, plant, equipment and tooling, student and trainee progress, industry involvement, instructor qualifications and safety.

Officials governing NIMS accredited programs report annually on progress and are subject to re-accreditation on a five year cycle. As of December 31, 2006 there were 162 NIMS accredited programs in operation. An additional 86 institutions and firms were in the process of completing the accreditation process.

There are 105 certified NIMS Team Leaders from private industry who lead the on-site audits.

NIMS Competency-based Apprenticeship System

NIMS has launched a new Competency-based Apprenticeship System for the nation’s metalworking industry. The NIMS system represents a dramatic departure from the time based system and integrates the NIMS national standards and skill certifications in defining and measuring required competencies.

Developed in partnership with the United States Department of Labor, the new system is the result of two years of work. Over 300 companies participated in the deliberations and design.

The new National Guideline Standards for NIMS Competency-based Apprenticeship have been approved by the Department of Labor. NIMS has trained Department of Labor apprenticeship staff at the national and state level in the new system.

Governance

NIMS is governed by a 24 person Board of Directors, the majority of whom are metalworking company executives. The Board also has representatives from training institutions, education, state government and organized labor.

NIMS financial operations are audited and reported annually in accordance with the Office of Management and Budget Circular A-133 and the provisions of the Single Audit Act.

Homepage: http://www.nims-skills.org FAQs: https://www.nims-skills.org/web/nims/39 [[Category:Articles created via the Article Wizard]]

Navy Hospital Charleston History

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:42, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Navy Hospital Charleston History User:Garyrg398/Navy_Hospital_Charleston_History Garyrg398 (talk) 18:54, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

Looks pretty good. I moved the article to History of the Naval Health Clinic Charleston, but because it is not just about the history, it should probably be moved again to Naval Health Clinic Charleston. I have done quite a lot of reformatting per WP:MOS and WP:LAYOUT. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

First_Unitarian_Church_of_Memphis

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 14:43, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Please review my Wikipedia article; this is the first one I have ever created. Thank you very much.

First Unitarian Church of Memphis

User:RoseyCat/First Unitarian Church of Memphis

RoseyCat (talk) 22:23, 29 January 2010 (UTC)16:21, 29 January 2010 (CST)

I'm new at this, but I think if you drop the "we" and put it all in third person, and get references from outside of wikipedia, you're off to a good start. Where you have references to wikipedia, use the internal link format using brackets, but you need some verifiable sources from newspapers, books, and the like. Nice start! Nuujinn (talk) 02:25, 30 January 2010 (UTC)

I believe that I made the recommended changes. However, I am uncertain about the formatting of my reference and hope that it is correct.RoseyCat (talk) 00:27, 31 January 2010 (UTC)

Good improvements! I took the liberty of working on the references in the first couple of paragraphs, and editing the external links. For internal references to wikipedia, just put the article name in double brackets, and if that doesn't work in the flow of the paragraph, use a bar to separate the article name and the text you'd like to appear, eg." Cats are popular pets." For links to outside sources, see WP:cite, but I put in an example for you. Hope that helps, Nuujinn (talk) 12:07, 1 February 2010 (UTC)

Blufeld

{{Done}} - speedily deleted per G11 of the criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 02:34, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Illumini08/Blufeld

Helo everyone, I have just completed an article on an artist named Blufeld (David Hearn) and would appreciate your judgement and feedback on its content and layout. Thank you for your time!

Best Regards, Diana Bauer —Preceding unsigned comment added by Illumini08 (talk • contribs) 23:11, 29 January 2010 (UTC)

Well, first off, sorry that it's taken so long to get you some feedback. This article has a major problem in that it's promotional and lacks reliable 2nd and 3rd party sources. Using the artist's various web pages isn't sufficient to establish notability. What you need are references like newspaper and magazine articles, on or off line. Nuujinn (talk) 21:24, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Nominated for speedy deletion per G11 of the criteria. Also has insufficient sources to demonstrate notability. – ukexpat (talk) 14:47, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

DarkSpace

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:49, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

I have done extensive copyediting for the article DarkSpace and added over 30 references. The article still needs a few more sources, some copyediting, and maybe an image or two. (large diff link) Any feedback on what else it needs would be appreciated. Thanks! --Culix (talk) 05:00, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Looks good, nice work! – ukexpat (talk) 20:28, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Raptor Conservation

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:49, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello!

I submitted an article about Raptor Conservation concerns as a Conservation Biology class project. Would you please give me some feedback so that I may be rid of the notation above the article?

Thanks!

Mikayla Boche 24.119.206.106 (talk) 05:11, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

Nice work! I have reviewed and made a few, very minor formatting edits. – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

French Bull, LLC

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:51, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

French Bull, LLC http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:161e61 fb161 2/11/10161e61 (talk) 19:09, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

At the moment the draft is way too promotional in tone (please read WP:Spam) to be moved to the mainspace. It also will need references to significant coverage in reliable sources to support notability per WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 20:02, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

Health Advocate Inc.

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 14:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

I would like to have my article Health Advocate Inc. reviewed.

Thanks for your help, Arianne13 (talk) 09:38, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

Looks like a good start! I've done a llttle cleaning up and editing to make it more wiki-like. I also moved it to Health Advocate, as we don't use the Inc. part of the company's name in the article title. The article could still really use some incoming links. Dori ❦ (Talk ❖ Contribs ❖ Review) ❦ 10:36, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

Physique 57

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed, ~~tagged for G11 speedy~~ - speedily deleted per G11 of the criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 02:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Physique 57 Physique57

Please assist me with ensuring this article meets all guidelines for Wikipedia. Thank you.

FitHealthy1 (talk) 05:40, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

I'm concerned about whether it meets the Notability threshold. You do have references, some of which probably qualify as reliable sources, and some of which may not, but the reliable sources mentioning Physique 57 barely mention it. I'm not familiar enough with the sources you cite to know which qualify and which do not - you might be fine, but this is just a heads up that there could be a problem.

You have included references, which is good, as many new editors fail on that score, but please look at footnotes and WP:CITE to see how they should be formatted.

In "Future locations", you say "The first California location will open in May, 2010 at 320 N. Canon Drive in Beverly Hills." Wikipedia has a policy called WP:CRYSTAL, to avoid the problem, you could say "planned to open" or similar wording, and it should have a reference.--SPhilbrick T 17:15, 16 February 2010 (UTC)

French Bull, LLC Revision

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 15:16, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

French Bull, LLC[[2]]

I've revised this article any feedback would be outstanding

thank you 2.16.10 161e61 (talk) 21:00, 16 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Derrynoel/Roland Carl Backhouse

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 02:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Derrynoel/Roland Carl Backhouse

This is my first article and I am attempting to marshal the information into a standard format. I am almost finished but need to get my text into the proper layout. Many thanks. Derrynoel Derrynoel (talk) 21:47, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Progressive Death Metal

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 15:19, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

I've been working on a Progressive Death Metal article in my users page, I'd just like someone to have a look before I publish it.

The problem in the past has been that there aren't enough prog death sources but I think I've found enough. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Chairmaneoin (talk • contribs) 22:00, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

I moved the article off your main user page to a subpage and started a new talkpage ("Discussion" page) just for the article with handy search tools. I also posted a welcome template on your talkpage which has some helpful links. Your goal will be to find a at least a few more sources that don't just mention the subject but actually talk about it. You don't have to source every statement but adding more sources to the first several paragraphs will help. Keep up the good work! -- Banjeboi 23:38, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Environmental Law in India: Judicial Activism, Public Interest Litigation and Green Benches

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 15:21, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Can someone please help me with formatting and with general comments on this article about environmental law in india Thank you --Ahhjean33 (talk) 23:25, 18 February 2010 (UTC)

Here is a link to the article User:Ahhjean33/new article name here ~~ GB fan ~~ ^talk 23:30, 18 February 2010 (UTC)

Quite good. Some formatting issues:

Wikipedia generally puts reference citations after punctuation, in particular just after the period that closes a sentence.
Wikipedia generally uses "logical quotation" meaning that punctuation is palced inside quote markss only if it was part of the original quotation.
Wikipeida normally uses "straight quotes", not "curly" or "angled" quotes in which the opening quote is different from the closing quote.
The use of named references (see Help:Footnotes and citing sources allows multiple references to the same paper or source to go to a single footnote, which improves consistence. I have made this change in one case, as an example.
When a source is cited as a specific reference to a specific statment, it is redundant to include it also as a "general reference" -- that is, to list it in the references section without being attached to a specific citation. Some such sources might be listed in a "Further reading" section.
You might want to consider the list defined reference format, which separates the detailed reference metadata from the body text. It does have the disadvantage of requiring two edits to add a reference if section editing is being used.
There needed to be more wiki-links to other wikipedia articles, I have added several.
I personally recommend the use of citation templates, but this is not required. I have converted the first two references as an example. The reference toolbar gadget (found in the gadgets tab of the preferences dialog) makes adding such references easier, but sometiems manual editing is still needed, as not all options are supported by this gadget.

I hope this is helpful. DES ^(talk) 07:12, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

User:UAB Wiki/Underwater Archaeology Branch, Naval History & Heritage Command

{{Done}} - in mainspace, reviewed and nominated for DYK. – ukexpat (talk) 02:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

I have undertaken my first wikipedia page to draw attention to a very interesting branch of the NHHC which does not get recognized, although there are numerous mentions of UAB in H.L. Hunley and CSS Alabama. I feel confident my page is well written, but I am having a hard time knowing whether I have the necessary references to be considered encyclopedic. Any feed back would be most welcome. User:UAB Wiki/Underwater Archaeology Branch, Naval History & Heritage Command

UAB Wiki (talk) 21:24, 19 February 2010 (UTC)Leachers, 19 February 2010

Decent start, fair amount of interesting information, however, you need some work on references. I assume some of the material came from here, but you need to identify the source of each fact. Check out WP:CITE and footnotes for help.

I also suspect that there are dedicated editors at this task force page who may be interested in providing specific help. Just contact one or more at their talk page.--SPhilbrick T 02:05, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

General Paul Johnson

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 15:23, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

I wrote an article on General Paul Johnson, and I'm looking for some feedback. I found a few sources, and he meets the guidelines for notability, but I haven't found much on his actual career. I'm hoping someone could help with that. Rin tin tin 1996 (talk) 15:32, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

It definitely needs a fair amount of work. Check out WP:CITE and footnotes to see how to add references. (While you listed two external sites that should qualify as references, you didn't include the footnotes to identify the source of information.)

This page is for general help, I suggest that you talk to someone with experience regarding military biographies, as there is a style and format desired for those biographies, and those involved in the project are likely to be interested in helping and know how to find additional sources to help you.

Check out Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/United States military history task force, in general. Note the list of members, along with their areas of interest/expertise. For example, User:Colgator lists US Air Force. Consider leaving a note at the talk page of one or more of the project, and I'll bet they'll be willing to help. If you don't know how to leave a message at a Talk page, click on the word "talk" after their name, then click on "new Section" at the top of the page, and ask them to contact you. They'll respond at your talk page.--SPhilbrick T 01:32, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Anthony Lombardi

{{Done}} - deleted per WP:PROD. – ukexpat (talk) 18:55, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

Anthony Lombardi

Arlombardi (talk) 19:03, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Well, your userid id suggests you may not be able to maintain a neutral point of view, and the article reads like an advertisement. Until the TV episode is shown, I'm not sure this Antony Lombardi is notable, and I think the article also needs additional reliable sources to establish notability. Nuujinn (talk) 20:13, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Please read WP:COI. While it may seem odd that you would be discouraged from contributing to an article when you probably know more than any other editor, it actually makes sense in the context of the Wikipedia goals. All is not lost, though, if someone else creates an article, you are permitted, even encouraged, to post information to the related Talk Page, suggesting corrections, addition, or relevant sources, but other, uninvolved editors should make the changes.--SPhilbrick T 22:07, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Wendy K. Wilkins

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 18:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello,

I am looking for feedback on my first Wikipedia article on Wendy K. Wilkins. I know the Wikilink will not work, so here is the link to the page itself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CLEARllh/Wendy_Wilkins

Does anybody know how I can change the Wikilink so it links correctly? There is already an article on Wendy Wilkins, but not the one this article is about, so I've changed my article to Wendy K. Wilkins, but only in title. How do I change it so that when you search for Wendy K. Wilkins it comes up with my article?

I have a request out to Ms. Wilkins for her birthdate and as soon as I hear back I will change the dummy text in my article to that date. I am working on uploading a photo of her for the article, but doing everything on here for the first time seems a little overwhelming and confusing at best. I'm working on it, though! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. CLEARllh (talk) 17:41, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Hi CLEARllh,

You can link to the article in its current location using User:CLEARllh/Wendy Wilkins. To move an article, you can click on the move tab at the top of the page.

I think your page should be the Wendy Wilkins page, since it refers to a real person, but perhaps that is an issue best left for another day. Your article seems pretty well referenced and ready to move to article space so if I were you I would click on the move tab and where it says "User:CLEARllh/Wendy Wilkins" change it to say "Wendy K. Wilkins". On the Wendy Wilkins page, you will need to add a disambiguation hatnote pointing to your article. If you are not sure how to do that I can help.

In terms of the actual article, it doesn't have to have the date of birth so I would remove the place holder. It is generally well researched. My main concern is that a lot of it is just a big list, which isn't really the style you would expect from a biography article. Perhaps it should be cut down to the more interesting things. Maybe other editors have some suggestions.

I don't think you have violated WP:BLP. I'm no expert on this, but I think a "Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs" meets WP:Notability (academics) but it might be a good idea to find a reliable independent source that talks about her so that your article meets the standard of WP:GNG. What counts as an independent source is a contentious issue in Wikipedia, but I would suggest that it shouldn't come from either her or the University of North Texas.

I hope that is helpful.

Yaris678 (talk) 18:48, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Room & Board

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 18:52, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

I got a request to undelete this article I deleted in June; opinions? - Dank (push to talk) 03:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Family-owned Room & Board has grown from its infancy in 1980 as a store for twenty-somethings who wanted to furnish their post-college apartments, to a retail success story that has slowly, strategically and stylishly evolved into a store more about lifestyle and design sensibility than a demographic. Today, Room & Board sells well-designed permanent furniture [1] online and in its nine showrooms nationwide.

1. “Eye on Design,” Minneapolis St. Paul Magazine, January 2005

Hi all. I will copy what I wrote to Dank. "I can add some New York Times citations to keep it from being all advertising. It makes no sense to allow a completely uncited article for Pottery Barn and delete this one. Thank you." -SusanLesch (talk) 03:53, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Oppose undeletion to mainspace. Too promotional in tone, unencyclopedic language. Possibly userfy so creator can work on it, but it will need a lot to convince me it is notable per WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 16:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

That's fine. But do you mind if I start anew? -SusanLesch (talk) 17:26, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

No problem with that, but suggest that you create it as a draft in userspace first, User:SusanLesch/Room & Board, so you can work on it at your own pace without fear of it being deleted. Then please come back here and ask for it to be reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 17:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Fair enough. Thank you, ukexpat. -SusanLesch (talk) 19:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Done. Does it look okay? I don't have any plans to expand it farther. Also thanks for tagging Pottery Barn. -SusanLesch (talk) 21:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Nice job! I would move it and see what happens. – ukexpat (talk) 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Thank you again, Ukexpat. I will try to add some and nominate it for DYK. Might as well. -SusanLesch (talk) 22:50, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Hamilton Bradshaw

I am trying to get the "new, unreviewed article" designation changed on this site. I would really appreciate if an experienced Wikipedian could look at the site and review it. A lot of work has gone into this site by me and other users. A bias issue existed earlier but thanks to work by other users and myself, the page has improved greatly. Thanks for your help.

CodyJDick (talk) 11:22, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

{{done}} A good start. DES ^(talk) 00:01, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Yes, if this is your first major edit, you have obviously worked long and hard at it, and have done a grand job. Any idea why the company is called Hamilton Bradshaw ? I am probably missing something here (apart from a few marbles).

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 00:10, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Hotteeze

{{Done}} - article deleted as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 14:23, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Please click　the link for the full page. Below is just a summary.

Hotteeze

Hotteeze is a heating pad company located in Japan which was started up by Donna Burke. The pads serve the purpose of providing warmth for several hours and can be used at any event for they are thin and small in size. In addition to helping you fight the cold, the pads can be used for aches and pains as well. Hotteeze also offers Hotteeze foot pads which can be used to warm and soothe tired feet

Thanks for reviewing!

Hotteeze (talk) 05:10, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Hardys Animal Farm (User:Thestuarthardy/Hardys_Animal_Farm)

{{Done}} - draft speedily deleted as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 14:58, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Thestuarthardy/Hardys Animal Farm is a page I'm looking to submit for promotion to the main wikipedia site, describing a large tourist attraction and the features found on it. I have read all the tutorial articles, and this is my first attempt that I've put together for public consumption. However, I was looking to get some feedback from those of you who are more experienced at this and some pointers to ensure the content of the page is appropriate.

Please have a look through and give me your feedback (however critical!) and I'll do my best to apply your suggestions to the article.

Thanks in advance, Stuart Hardy

Thestuarthardy (talk) 18:01, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

User:ColinKNewman/Mark Fleming

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 15:04, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi I'm preparing a new article about the Scottish writer, Mark Fleming. I believe he is notable because his work is concerned with promoting a positive image of mental health issues.

Would appreciate feedback about the layout / content of this article.

(When previewed, why do hyperlinks appear as numbers rather than text - is this something to do with hyperlinks needing to be verified?) —Preceding unsigned comment added by ColinKNewman (talk • contribs) 13:16, 12 February 2010 (UTC)

Rather than [http://www.laurahird.com/], try <ref>[http://www.laurahird.com/ this is the laura bird website]</ref>. See WP:CITEHOW. You could temporarily add a {{reflist}} during the preview, if you wanted to see how it would look. Usually only one {{reflist}} is in an article, at the bottom. jmcw (talk) 13:33, 16 February 2010 (UTC)

Teaching Writing in the United States

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 15:05, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Teaching Writing in the United States

I posted this article on Feb 6 and have not yet received feedback. How should I go about getting feedback on this article?

Diana Leddy (talk) 15:02, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

Nice article. I made some minor stylistic changes.

My main observations:

Two of the sections start in a style that seems more suited to essay writing than encyclopedia writing. One starts "Sensing a serious gap...". The other starts "Emerging from both the Writing Process...". I don't know whether the format is officially discouraged, but I didn't like it.
The lede is too cryptic. Check out WP:LEAD, in particular "The lead should be able to stand alone as a concise overview of the article."--SPhilbrick T 16:56, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

Bungaroosh

{{Done}} - no further response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 15:18, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

I've just written a draft of my first article, User:Shermarama/Bungaroosh, and I'd appreciate some feedback. It's heavily based on one source, which reflects my experience of this peculiar building material very well. Other sources are proving difficult to find, because it's a really specifically regional building material only found in the Brighton area - its obscurity, the fact that most people don't know what sort of mess they've bought, is part of its notability. But does it sound sufficiently notable for wikipedia? Worth carrying on trying to find other references? --Shermarama (talk) 22:03, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

I'm not _sure_ if it's notable, given it's limited usage--but then Clutch is just about as notable. It sounds like an interesting topic tho, and there are a lot of different building materials up here. I did find a couple of references:

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-5278654.html

http://www.buildingopinions.com/Archive/S/stamford.html

Also see http://www.urbanwords.info/supplement.php?initial=B, there's reference to Rob Fraser in regard to Bungaroosh, you might see if you can track that down.

Nuujinn (talk) 01:35, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback. The Rob Fraser article (the one referred to on urbanwords is the same single reference I've got) seems to be the only source article anywhere - would adding other references that mention bungaroosh, rather than being about it, help establish its notability? --Shermarama (talk) 19:29, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

It depends on the nature of the source. What you really want are books or newspaper articles, but if you find a reference to a particular aspect of the topic, other sources might work. If you're local to the area, you might contact newspapers or libraries to see if they have any references.

Take a look at this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/impact-funding-to-aid-heritage-1428094.html

I think that's a good source, since it's from a reliable newspaper and references a public program designed to cope with the problems related to the building material. Nuujinn (talk) 20:06, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Pasquill Cavaliero

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 15:59, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi folks,

Please provide some feedback on the new page. I'm especially interested in informed or expert opinion from those with a knowledge of early modern literature and theology, if we have such experts on board. Thanks!--BenJonson (talk) 16:56, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

I posted a request here

You are encouraged to contact Ret.Prof yourself, he promises not to bite.--SPhilbrick T 22:13, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Inclusion in New Jersey page

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 16:01, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Is there a way to include magazines in the New Jersey page? I'd like to include New Jersey Business magazine, the oldest business magazine in New Jersey. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Vinlynne (talk • contribs) 17:17, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

There is a section on media, but it isn't perfectly clear where it belongs. I suggest you think about where it belongs (perhaps changing Newspapers to Newspapers and Magazines, but post your proposal at the Talk Page, in case someone has a better idea. If there are no objections or better ideas, go for it.--SPhilbrick T 22:00, 20 February 2010 (UTC)

Battle of the Argesul

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 16:02, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

I was just wondering if this is ready for launch, so if any comments are available, either voice them here or update the article itself at User:Buggie111/Battle of the Argesul. Pretty fun working on it. Buggie111 (talk) 00:50, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

It would be helpful to explain what is notable about this battle. I don't know enough about the rules for military notability; if all battles are deemed notable, then this will qualify, but even if true, it would be helpful to explain what is special about this battle - was it important to either side in any particular way?

You have a couple references, but the citation style could be improved. Check out WP:CITE and footnotes for help.

You might check in on this task force page. There are editors hanging out there who may be able to give you more specific feedback.--SPhilbrick T 02:53, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

TuneVibez

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 16:03, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Link: User:Charliebobgordon/TuneVibez Charliebobgordon (talk) 16:16, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

This needs more citations, particularly to independent reliable sources, both to support the facts stated, and to establish notability. Your current citations are to "The Year's Best Small Business on Twitter" which seems to be a user-voted award award thus not a reliable source at all. Your further reading section currently lists writings by two people involved with this project, which are therefore not independent, and a you-tube link which is highly unlikely to be considered a reliable source --youtube almost never is. The external links are no better: sites by involved people, blogs, twitter, youtube, facebook and a forum. Not a reliable source in the lot, by Wikipedia standards. You need independent, published comment. I advise that you consult WP:CITE, WP:RS, and WP:WEB. Mind you, with better sources, this isn't a bad start on an article. The main issue is establishing notability. I hope this is helpful. DES ^(talk) 17:01, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

I'll add that this all seems to be an advertisement. I see that you are a new member of wikipedia, but you might read up on Wikipedia and conflict of interest. From your userid and the TuneVibez web site, can I assume that you are the DJ and webmaster for TuneVibez? If so, I congratulate you on the effort that you and your friends are putting into this endeavor, but wikipedia is not an appropropriate place to promote your business. I agree with DES that the article is pretty good, but you will definitely need better sources. Nuujinn (talk) 17:11, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Vukovi Beograd

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 16:04, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Vukovi Beograd article Vukovi_Beograd --Alexbgd83 (talk) 20:07, 21 February 2010 (UTC)Aleksandar Andjelkovic 21.2.2010

Ir looks very good and is well--written, subject seems notable enough. However, there are no inline citations. I'm sure that since you were able to write such a good article on the subject, you got your information from somewhere. Simply credit your sources. Hope this helps.BillyJack193 (talk) 21:55, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

References can be tricky, but check out WP:CITE and footnotes, which should help you. Come back if it isn't clear, and we can provide an example.--SPhilbrick T 22:20, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

Mehgan Heaney-Grier

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 16:05, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

The name of the article is Mehgan Heaney-Grier. The wikilink is Mehgan Heaney-Grier or [[3]] - (not sure which link will work).

I authored and posted this article for wikipedia. It is about freediver Mehgan Heaney-Grier who, in 1996, established the first-ever freedive record for both men and women in the United States. Additionally, she is an actress, model and has hosted, been featured in and produced many television shows.

This article was done in conjunction with Mehgan for fact verification and with her permission. She has also given permission (in writing) to Wikipedia to use the images that are included in the article and on/in Wikipedia Commons.

Lastly, I saw the clean up tag requesting fewer photos in the article - thus we removed two of them.

Please give us any other feedback that might help us better the article.

Thank you, Petey Jones and Mehgan Heaney-Grier 2/21/2010 Mhg165 (talk) 21:50, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

I don't think this is too bad, but it comes off as promotional, and although she's clearly notable, the article needs additional 2nd and 3rd parties references. I don't think it quite reaches neutral point of view. The lede says she's a naturalist, and I see that she's working towards graduation, but the article would be better if it listed her work in this area beyond hosting tv shows and giving talks, especially if she has any publications. The http://sanctuaries.noaa.gov/news/features/0107_ecocenter.html link doesn't mention her, so I think it may not be relevent. As for the pics, I think the face shot and the shot of her deep diving are the only pics you need for this purpose. She's an attractive women, but my thought is that a picture should add to the content in a substantial way. The mermaid shot isn't explained--I'm guessing she worked with Weeki Wachee, if so, why not mention that? Also, I'd suggest dropping the last two external links--linking to her facebook and youtube pages suggest the purpose of the article is promotional in nature. Nuujinn (talk) 00:26, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

The Prometheus Institute

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 16:18, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

The Prometheus Institute

Dlasker88 (talk) 00:11, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

not a bad start. It needs more details if possible, and more references, particularly from news sources, if possible. References should not be just bare links, but should include such metadata as the name of the work, the title of the articel or story or web page, the date of publication, the author when known, etc. If the reference is a bare link, all data can be lsot if the link goes bad, and a user looking at the list of references needs to follow each one to see what sort of sources are being used. I recommend the use of the citation templates, although this is not required.

I have adjusted most, but not all, of the references to use citation templates.

~~Oh the last reference, the one to http://www.statehousecall.org/ doesn't seem top mention the subject at all. Perhaps the story is now in the archives?~~

my error, the site is run by the organization.

Nice work so far. I hope this is helpful. DES ^(talk) 02:42, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Johnnie Bassett

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 16:20, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

I created a new article, which was nominated for speedy deletion under section G12. Eventually I had the item returned to my user page, here - User:Derek R Bullamore/Johnnie Bassett. I have had several trial attempts at re-writing it, but always seem to end up back in the same place. Correspondence on my user talk page, here - User talk:Derek R Bullamore, may give you more background. Basically I am stuck, and would much appreciate another pair of eyes to try to knock this into shape. Please do feel free to sub-edit the 'draft' article itself, if this is easier for you. Maybe it is me that needs knocking into shape, not the article ! Many thanks,

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 14:39, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Please note that this article has been further edited, moved to the mainspace (Johnnie Bassett), and nominated at DYK. Thanks,

Derek R Bullamore (talk) 16:20, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

Council of Residential Specialists

{{Done}} - in mainspace and reviewed. – ukexpat (talk) 16:37, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Residential_Specialists I have created an article about the largest subsidiary for the national association of realtors. They are a non for profit council that has several different functions in the real estate market. Thank you for your time!

216.21.37.146 (talk) 15:08, 22 February 2010 (UTC)Rob Kairis 02/22/10

There are a number of problems

All of the references are bare hyperlinks, and need to be converted to include the relevant metadata, either manually or by use of citation templates, I would favor the latter. See WP:CITE and Help:footnotes for more details.
Most of the citations are to parts of the organization's own web site, or to press relatives or directory entries. Few are to independent reliable sources, and more such are needed. As it stands the citations do not establish notability, see our guideline on notability of organizations.
The article violated our style guideline on trademarks which advises "Follow standard English text formatting and capitalization rules even if the trademark owner considers nonstandard formatting 'official'" and "Do not use the ™ and ® symbols, or similar, in either article text or citations, unless unavoidably necessary for context". I have fixed this issue, buyt please note it for the future.
The article is written in a rather promotional tone. Phrases like "seeking the knowledge, tools and relationship-building opportunities needed to maximize their income and professionalism in residential real estate." are marketing-speak.
The "Mission Statement and Objectives" are apparently direct quotes, but are not formatted or explicitly attributed as such.

I hope these notes are helpful. DES ^(talk) 20:39, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

E-Z Pack Manufacturing

{{Done}} - no response from requester. – ukexpat (talk) 16:41, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Please let me know if the article: Tkincolorado/E-Z Pack Manufacturing, meets your criteria for publishing to Wikipedia. Thank you for your time. -Tom Kennedy (tkincolorado) 2/25/2010 Tkincolorado (talk) 19:04, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, but it comes across as too promotional.

Please see WP:CORP for guidelines on what is needed for an article on a company to be included.--SPhilbrick T 22:08, 25 February 2010 (UTC)