Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 September 15

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User:Uberphipps/Winster.com

Please review this site for the wiki of Winster.com. I made this wiki because this is a gaming website that my friends and I frequent and I thought it would be good to provide a wikipedia page for it.

Uberphipps (talk) 00:37, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

Press-releases are primary sources, so it currently does not satisfy the notability requirements, see also WP:CORP. It contains non-neutral claims, and some of the content is not encyclopaedic; see WP:NOTGUIDE and other parts in WP:NOT.  Chzz  ►  04:34, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Mom2tcd/The Crystals of Time Series ONYX

99.64.248.220 (talk) 11:09, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

Please remember to log in.

The article seems to be copied from another website, in violation of copyright.  Chzz  ►  04:37, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

Malcolm VandenBurg

I would just like to check that you think this is all right. I've referenced where published articles can be read and I hope that noteablity is also demonstrated by his contribution to drug research - which is verifiable by the published articles. I hope that noteability is further demonstrated by the co-authoring of book for doctors and other professionasl to help them manage stress, which is being re-printed having sold over 50,000 copies.

Please do let me know if it needs more information or any other ways to improve it - thanks in advance!

Lexgenn (talk) 12:01, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

I've reformatted it quite a lot; please see WP:CITE. Do not use '''bold''' throughout the document; and you should use == Section headings like this == and === Subsections like this === instead of <big> etc. Use asterisks (*) for bullet-point lists (but keep those to a minimum). See WP:CHEATSHEET.

The list of publications is far too long; it should be trimmed down to an appropriate sample, and preferably formed into the prose; Wikipedia is not a directory, and even articles on prolific authors do not have such a long list.

Several sections lack references to reliable sources, for example "Career history" and "Other positions" - information that cannot be referenced should be removed, see WP:V.

Please look at good articles for further help with the layout.  Chzz  ►  04:53, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Princessmordrellyn/Touchstone_Theatre_(Bethlehem,_PA)

Wiki newbie here, looking to get better at crafting a good article - any feedback is appreciated.

Princessmordrellyn (talk) 16:05, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

Requires independent reliable sources such as newspapers; information must be verifiable. See WP:VRS, WP:GNG. You need to present facts from e.g. newspapers/books. For help with formatting that, see WP:CITE.  Chzz  ►  04:56, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Udjo/Saung_Angklung_Udjo

Most articles are in Indonesian language as can be seen by the Indonesian Wikipedia entry on the subject.

Udjo (talk) 16:24, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

It needs additional references - at least a couple - to e.g. books or newspaper articles; see WP:GNG.  Chzz  ►  04:58, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Jlran77/Paul Betit (author)

A new article about a Maine author I would like to get some feedback on. This is my first article, so I especially would like feedback on the content and how it meshes with Wikipedia's standards.

Jlran77 (talk) 17:15, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

Currently, I think it might be in danger of deletion as it doesn't really show "significant coverage" - see WP:GNG and WP:BIO. The facts cannot be verified in reliable sources e.g. born Nov. 10, 1946 journalism degree from the University of Maine in 1974 U.S. Army Security Agency (1965-69) intelligence analyst in South Vietnam and Ethiopia Married with two grown sons, lives in Topsham, Maine etc.  Chzz  ►  05:08, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

J&K Yateem Foundation

Jkyf (talk) 18:14, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

Unreferenced, promotional, username is against policy. See WP:BFAQ.  Chzz  ►  05:04, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

3PL_Systems_Inc

3PL Systems Inc. (3PL Systems) is a software company that provides a transportation management system (TMS) optimized for freight brokers and third-party logistics providers.

Founded in 2002, 3PL Systems Inc is a Software company specializing in providing applications to third party logistics companies. 3PL Systems creates innovative technological products and services that are easy to use, scalable and flexible enough to meet the needs of each customer's unique business environment.

3PL Systems will also provide domain registration, email packages and technical assistance. In addition, the customer service team is a group of experienced professionals available to provide consultation on technical and business solutions to help freight brokers and 3PLs grow and manage IT infrastructure.

Extremely promotional - not neutral. For example, ...creates innovative technological products and services that are easy to use, scalable and flexible enough to meet the needs... - this is not Encyclopaedic; it is like an advertizement. Please see WP:BFAQ. Articles need inline references to reliable sources.  Chzz  ►  05:12, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

Chris Gibson (New York Congressional Candidate)

New article about a U.S. congressional candidate from New York.

Theeagleman (talk) 21:25, 15 September 2010 (UTC)

I removed the children's names, see WP:NPF - plus, they don't help with understanding the article.

When you use the same reference more than once, you can 'name' it, like this.

You should not have an external link within the body text (Securing the State); they should only be in == External links == at the end; see WP:EL.

Please do not link dates, such as 1st April. Those links do not help with understanding the article.

I fixed a few misc. formatting issues, and removed the 'unreviewed' tag.  Chzz  ►  05:24, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

I didn't see this before so I reverted your changes regarding the family names-but the reason I included the names is because they are widely known(mentioned in the candidates bio on his ::site, in news articles and have been in tv spots for him as well) and I have observed similar politicians pages mention names of spouses/kids, including his opponent Scott Murphy Personal life.

I appreciate your other changes though, thank you for the help!

Theeagleman (talk)

User:KyotoWatanabe/Beyond_City_Limits_(poster)

This is my first article. I would be most grateful if someone could confirm if my prospective contribution is suitable enough to be published :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KyotoWatanabe/Beyond_City_Limits_(poster)

Thanks and regards.

KyotoWatanabe (talk) 01:44, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

It's fine; I think it just about meets notability requirements, although it is unlikely to be expanded much. It would be nice if it could be a little bit longer.

I've tidied up the references a little, to avoid showing the URLs, by putting e.g. [http://www.google.com This is Google] - which produces: This is Google

Apart from that...yes, it is OK to move to a live article (in my opinion). がんばって.  Chzz  ►  05:34, 16 September 2010 (UTC)