Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 22

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_of_Heroes_Going_Rogue[edit]

This is my first Wikipedia article, regarding the new expansion for City of Heroes, called City of Heroes Going Rogue.

Oddkarma (talk) 00:24, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent article. I can't really suggest any improvements really. Well done! Chevy monte carlo 08:21, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Navone[edit]

Biography of Jesuit Professor (Emeritus) of Theology at Pontifical Gregorian University. My first article.

David P. P. Persyn 00:51, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

It's an alright article, but please do not use capital letters in the section headings. Also, I think you need more web references, in addition to the printed references you already have. Thank you. Chevy monte carlo 08:22, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have fixed what you suggested. Thanks for the constructive feedback!

David P. P. Persyn 19:38, 23 August 2010 (UTC)

Robert Sptizer, SJ[edit]

Second Artlicle published. Fr. Spitzer is former President of Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA, and I created this article. There is information here direct from Father Spitzer, however, I have read the associated policies, and including information in biographical articles provided by a living subject is an exception to the rule on original research. I'm open to ideas here.

David P. P. Persyn 01:08, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Störung[edit]

definition and information about Störung, a platform of audiovisual artists

95.21.164.94 (talk) 10:41, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, other Wikipedia articles cannot be used as a reference as per WP:CITE, however the link can be added to a 'see also' section. Try and add some names to the references, and finally consider expanding the article. Chevy monte carlo 08:27, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom-Cotter[edit]

Choixdujour (talk) 14:44, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article, I see you resized the picture after my last comment. I think the article's better off at Tom Cotter, unless there's another article there already. Please use the 'Move' feature to move your article if you're going to do this, instead of just cut and pasting - if you need help with this please contact me. Thank you. Chevy monte carlo 08:29, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

PUT TITLE HERE within EPEC (European PPP Expertise Centre) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EPEC_(European_PPP_Expertise_Centre)[edit]

The article has been prepared by professionals working in the area of Public Private Partnerships/Project Finance. It needs to be given the OK to have the template removed for new articles

Rainyluxembourg (talk) 16:18, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:BluOrpheus/Oakland_Opera_Theater[edit]

I would like to publish this page. It's about a 20-year old opera company in California which does outstanding work in the area of contemporary opera. BluOrpheus (talk) 16:46, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs to be supported by independent reliable sources, without these it runs the risk of a quick deletion, see Referencing for beginners with citation templates for some background on how to go about it. At the moment the draft is a bit un-digestible with all those section headings. Could you change this to a simple list (See Wikipedia:Manual of Style (lists))? It can always be expanded later. Words like "strives" and "spirit" are classic signs of non-neutral text. Perhaps you could take a second look and make sure it reads as neutrally as possible? Thanks Fæ (talk) 19:43, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Bass[edit]

I copy and pasted from a microsoft word document on my desktop that I wrote myself. Everything on the article references included looks strange.

Platehed (talk) 17:06, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've taken a look at the article in question, and it appears that all of the references used are either primary or promotional in nature. Could you find verifiable and reliable third party sources for the information you have provided? If you need help, please see this link for more information. Netalarm^talk 05:09, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have formatted the layout of the article and the referencing. The text needs further trimming and some copyediting to comply with the neutral point of view guidelines. A poorly formatted cut & paste should be initially created as a draft. See Wikipedia:So you made a userspace draft. Fæ (talk) 07:29, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Robertejohnson/William_VerMeulen[edit]

A new page for Hornist William VerMeulen. Please help me get this posted to Wikipedia. Thanks!

Robertejohnson (talk) 17:40, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Seems quite well written and structured. Please add categories and integrate sources as proper footnotes - see Referencing for beginners with citation templates. I have gone ahead and moved the draft into article space, please continue to improve it as you are doing a good job so far. Fæ (talk) 07:40, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagelberg_FH_50[edit]

Hello, could someone please just look over it? Thanks!

Mcroyarms (talk) 18:09, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think the article needs to be expanded, if possible, and more references need to be added, preferably using inline citations to display them correctly. If you need help with any of this, please do not hesitate to send me a message. Thank you. Chevy monte carlo 08:18, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Tofutwitch11/Boston Virtual ATC[edit]

Boston Virtual ATC is an online multiplayer community based on providing ATC to pilots. Leave feedback on articles talk page (note this article is on a user talk page extension)

Tofutwitch11 (talk) 19:20, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Try and add some names to the references, and add some categories, if you can. If you need any help with this, please send me a message. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo 08:14, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Stephan Lill[edit]

I just wanted for my article to be reviewed Andy (talk) 19:42, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to add some names to the references, like this:

<ref>[http://www.exampleURL.com|Reference name goes here!]</ref>

Also try and find a few more references to add to the ones you already have, as it's definitely lacking. Chevy monte carlo 08:12, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Phamtm/Jarod Palmer[edit]

This is an article about an Athlete. Does it need more sources?

Phamtm (talk) 20:49, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good article; try and add some names to the references like this:

<ref>[http://www.exampleURL.com|Reference name goes here!]</ref>

Also, try and find some additional references and add them to the article as well. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo 08:08, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Toodlemom/Robert Livingston Allen[edit]

Toodlemom (talk) 21:49, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Consider adding an infobox and break up the article into sections, if you can. If you have any questions, please send me a message. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo 08:05, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Collider_(Epidemiology)[edit]

This is a very short (stub( article) but it is very important part of Path analysis and causality that articles with these names on wikipedia miss out on. I am going to improve those articles too but for someone learning epidemiology or causalilty and looking for the description of what it is, this article is enough and should be linked to the page titled Collider that doesnt link to statistical/epidemiological definition of collider. Quantumash (talk) 21:55, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good and well supported by citations. I have made minor changes to layout and updated the citations based on WorldCat entries. Don't forget to add categories. Fæ (talk) 05:41, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]