Wikipedia:Peer review/Torchic/archive1

Torchic

Request: I've been working a lot on this article, and wanted a few tips on where to improve next. I know the In the anime section is pitiful, so don't comment on that, and help with notes and refs would be good. Much thanks Highway 20:06, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

• Not a big issue, but like is done in Wikipedia:Footnotes the inline citation usually goes after the period, not before. Per WP:CONTEXT, years without full dates should generally not be linked. The article could also use a copyedit with spelling errors (like "evole", which I corrected) and the use of it's (it is) instead of the correct its. Other errors include Torchic prefers stays . Thanks, AndyZ 20:18, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

  Thank you for your comments, they gave me some pointers I didn't know about. The article was kinda choppy, so I've been re-writing sections, opposed to writing it fresh. Thanks, Highway 20:44, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

  "It's", footnotes and "prefer stays" are all amended, I've just to proof read it now, Thanks much Highway 21:07, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

• Try to make the article accessible for those of us who do not know anything about Pokemon. For example, the first sentence of the video game section "Choosing a Torchic, or any Fire-type, as your starter Pokémon is considered a steeper learning curve than choosing Treecko or Mudkip." Use specific names as examples of a generalized category. What is Treecko's (specific name) relationship to this sentence? He is a non-fire-type character (general category)?
• Please fact-check "covered all over by a fluffy coat of down feathers".
• Integrate the "Trivia" section into the prose of the article (or create a foreign-name table) or just remove those fun facts as trivial for the purpose of this article.
• Concerning the references, is Bulbapedia a Wikipedia:Reliable sources? The Bulbasaur article that got featured status was criticized for not doing the research that normal FAs are expected to do. The "multi-billion-dollar" franchise probably has a few books, articles, interviews that discuss these creations. Show us evidence (through references) that an exhaustive search has been done.
• In the intro please provide a more descriptive overview of what this thing is. It's a cartoon chicken. A chicken that...what? I gather it is chicken that is trained to fight. What is its goal? Does it fight an evil empire or free a princess?
• Also, please review the article Spoo, as it is my opinion, that article balances well fanboy(story details)|cruft(trivia) with encyclopedic analysis. --maclean25 19:57, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

  Thank you very much : ) I'll look into that, a couple of responses to that -

  • The down feathers mistake is just because "down" leads to a disambiguation.
  • The trivia section is designed because all of that information was formally in the introduction (if you don't believe the awfulness check all the other articles), so that's why that there is, the trivia section can also be found in Bulbasaur, but if you can suggest a place for it that would be good also
  • The references/external links are a template for all articles, I removed the template for torchic, but I haven't changed the content much

  Thanks much for all the comments, Highway 13:46, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

---

• Here are my observations:
  • Italicise game names. Make sure commas and "and"s are not linked. They are two separate games in the same article.
  • Right align the card image.
  • Fix the copyright of the game screenshot - you certified that it was fair use, not me.
  • "Many gamers have criticized the Advanced Generation artwork as a whole, since Ken Sugimori, the designer of all of the first and second generation Pokémon, led the design team, resulting in the Pokémon appearing in a more naturalistic style, compared to the anthropormorphistic style of the Pokémon Red and Blue and Pokémon Gold and Silver games." - source it please.
  • "Ep" should be "Episode" - try not to abbreviate.
  • "A little-known fact that most players overlook when playing with the Torchic Star card, from the EX Team Rocket Returns set" - POV if ever I did see.
  • You just can't reference Bulbapedia. Please learn from my mistakes at Bulbasaur.
• Overall, looking good but it needs some serious tweaking. --Celestianpower ^háblame 22:20, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

  I'm working through your comments Cel, the non-numbered ones are the ones that have been fixed, what exactly do I need to do with Bulbapedia? Highway 00:58, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

  Fixed everything on Cel's list except the Bulbapedia thing, since I have no clue. I also remedied most of Toxic's comments, but I'm not exactly sure what a copyedit is.. *feels dumb*. Thank you for the comments Highway 01:13, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

  You have referenced Bulbapedia. You cannot do this - remove Bulbapedia from the references section.

  A copy edit is basically an extensive grammar, spelling, punctuation and wikification check.

  Another thing I've noticed: Ch. should be Chapter and it's not "Episode 12. Foo", it's "Episode 12: Foo". Also, you can't reference a Wikipedia article. --Celestianpower ^háblame 10:05, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

I thought as much, but that's where I got the information, any ideas on how to link it? How can you use any other website but not Bulbapedia (dire as it is)? I also did have a check, CLW checked it.. Highway 13:08, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Technically, you should reference just any site but Bulbapedia is worse as it's editable by all, it's a wiki. --Celestianpower ^háblame 14:06, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

So, is there any way to connect any wiki with any article? And it is dire.. Highway 20:07, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

---

• The first two sections are completely devoid of inline citations and could use a copyedit. Also, don't reference the criticism of Torchic's appearance in the lead unless you go into it in further depth farther down the article (which wouldn't be a good idea, as it isn't something that should go in Torchic's article, but rather on the Pokémon article or a daughter article. Titoxd^{(?!? - help us)} 00:08, 31 March 2006 (UTC)