Wikipedia:Peer review/Shraddha Kapoor/archive2
Shraddha Kapoor[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i suspect there are many errors since i am new to Wiki
Thanks, Smauritius diR mWa!! 09:39, 7 December 2013 (UTC)
Comments by Neonchameleon[edit]
- Being picky (my first attempt at Peer Review), the lede appears entirely without references (despite needing them - especially for the award, and you probably want to use the award she actually won) - and "several brands or products" - which ones?
- Just as a drive by comment, the lead does not need references as long as the information is backed up elsewhere in the article, which the award is. Samwalton9 (talk) 15:12, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- The infobox uses three references to establish her date of birth.
- Paragraph two (about her parents) appears disjoint and to not flow; you could jumble up the sentences and it would look neither better nor worse.
- The career - what does "failed" mean with respect to the box office? Did poorly would be better. And you need references for awards (or the same award again).
- "Major box office triumph" - again feels like wp:Peacock - more balanced would be better - or figures.
- Your second reference here ([23]) appears broken?
- Hope some of that helped?