Wikipedia:Peer review/List of states and union territories of India by population/archive1

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List of states and union territories of India by population[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to take this list to FL level. I have used List of Canadian provinces and territories by population (a FL) as my basis for development. This would be my first attempt so I would like get this list reviewed from as many as aspects as possible. Tell if this lists needs more images, references, MOS, add/remove text, table content, etc.

Thanks, GPPande talk! 20:37, 6 November 2008 (UTC) Pasting the automated review here to keep all at one place.[reply]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.[?]
    • Not sure if this applies to List class articles so I would wait for an eyeball review. --GPPande talk! 12:05, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead is for summarizing the rest of the article, and should not introduce new topics not discussed in the rest of the article, as per WP:LEAD. Please ensure that the lead adequately summarizes the article.[?]
    • The only topic which might seem extra is migration data. Do I need to remove it? --GPPande talk! 12:05, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.[?]
  • You may wish to consider adding an appropriate infobox for this article, if one exists relating to the topic of the article. [?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
    • I think list class articles don't need templates as mandatory. --GPPande talk! 12:05, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.[?]
    • Need manual explanation here. I think the sections are same as Canadian article. --GPPande talk! 12:05, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • This article is a bit too short, and therefore may not be as comprehensive as WP:WIAFA critera 1(b) is looking for. Please see if anything can be expanded upon.[?]
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, APR t 04:20, 7 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I am waiting for some reviewer here to post more comments. --GPPande talk! 12:05, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Avoid keeping images larger than 300px. In lower resolutions, it takes up all the space.
 Done
  • Unlink low-value common nouns such as villages
 Done
  • Do not link country names (Aug MoS)
 Done I have left a link for India as this article is about Indian states. Or it also needs to go?
  • Use − to render the minus sign, not a hyphen
 Done I went through WP:HYPHEN and have done changes. Let me know if they are correct.
  • You might want to also include the area in miles and density per sq mile.
 Done
  • net "out migration" --> emigration
 Done
  • "in migration", --> immigration
 Done
  • Wrong wikification of Delhi in the lead
Removed.
  • Explain what a UT is in the lead: It's federally administered
 Done
  • 'Latest Indian census has shown --> tense & should be specific: "The 2001 census shows that..."
 Done
  • "Almost 70% of Indians reside in rural areas. " too much like a statement, About 70% of India's population reside in rural areas, while the remaining X% live in the 4 metros, with the remaining living in other smaller towns and cities.
Sine I did not get any specific reference which denoted % living in 4 metros I have twisted the sentence a little bit. Please check and let me know if it correct.
  • Check the clauses in the sentence: Population count is done by Census of India and is one of the largest administrative task carried out by any government --> The population count carried out by the Census of India is one of the largest administrative tasks that conducted by any federal government.
 Done
  • Give the standard equivalence of lakhs and crores
 Done
  • Explain sex ratio in the sentence. "The ratio of females per 1000 males, known as the sex ratio..."
 Done
  • Ranges such as these "0-6 " should be separated by a dash, not a hyphen. Use – to generate an N dash. Do a global check.
 Done
  • Use the convert template for 120,849 sq. km
 Done
  • You also have to mention the areas that are claimed by Pakistan and China (Kashmir/Sir Creek/Arunachal) for NPOV
Added PAK, Aksai Chin and Shaksgam Valley. Sir creek is water area. Arunachal is simply claimed by China and not occupied so it's area does not account here. Census of India page describes This includes 120,849 square kilometers of area illegally occupied by Pakistan and China.
  • When possible replace ", which" by "that"
 Done
  • Include an =External links= section that points to the census of India site
 Done

=Nichalp «Talk»= 15:47, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your excellent review. Please keep adding points if you see more problems. I would try to fix them at earliest. --GPPande talk! 18:50, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. No, you mixed up the minus and dash entities. The Wikitext should read (&minus2.6 million) and 500–999 See [{WP:DASH]]
 Done I have fixed best to my knowledge. Let me know if I have done mistake anywhere.
  1. (federally administered region) --> avoid using brackets when you can integrate with the text itself --> See this: ..seven union territories directly administered by the central government [Do this for sex ratio too]
 Done
  1. For lakhs, I did not mean this: 5.94 lakh (100,000). I meant 5.94 lakh (594,000) (use the non breaking space   between a number and unit). Do a global fix.
 Done
Do I need to use this system of mentioning the count like 594,000 all over or only at first place?
  1. 2.3 million , -> extra space before comma
 Done
  1. In recent decades --> comma needed after decades.
 Done
  1. Areakm²[8] --> space needed
 Done
  1. nearest whole integer. --> "Whole" is redundant. There's no half-integers.
 Done
  1. Use proper nouns for geographic entities: Delhi --> National Capital...; China --> People Republic of China.
 Done
  1. prompting government --> "the" needed
 Done
  1. External links is the last section. See [[W{:LAYOUT]]
 Done
  1. Remove the dash in the =note= section.
 Done

=Nichalp «Talk»= 19:48, 11 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I am currently working on adding density/sq. miles column - You can verify the changes done by looking at this. Let me know if they are done correctly. This is first time I am referring to the MoS guide and trying to understand it :-) so please hang on with me. Any more problems as you see are welcome. --GPPande talk! 13:38, 12 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review 3
No, you fully didn't get what I meant by the equivalent for lakhs. The term is subcontinental use only, so the international format is demanded to reach a global audience. We can't expect someone reading the text in Latvia to really keep calculating in their heads that 1.28 lakh is 128,000. Give these equivalents in brackets for all such figures in India-related articles.
 Done please verify now. One question, some places I have used lakh and at some places million. Should I follow one unit throughout the article?
  1. to take preventive action --> Hanging sentence. Needs to be precise. What preventive action?
 Done along with refs.
  1. You've missed out Arunachal Pradesh in the list of disputed regions
 Done moved the disputed territory areas to notes section. Since Arunachal is administered by India itself I had thought of no need for separate mention as it's area was included in the total area as per Census board. But I have added it now.
  1. Converting to miles is simple. Copy to a spreadsheet, add the formulae, and then add the wikisyntax. Shouldn't take more than 30 mins
 Done
  1. States like Haryana --> Keep this in mind: The word Like is not favoured by reviewers when used for comparison. Replace this words with such as
 Done

=Nichalp «Talk»= 07:13, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I have done the third set of changes. Also, I have done some shifting work and added few more refs and data. Please verify and let me know your thoughts. Also, do you think List of Indian states ranked by population density should be merged with this list? --GPPande talk! 19:37, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Yes, you can merge the article
 Done
  1. Consistency is important. So you can use the international format throughout. The Indian format is btw, not legal in India, especially when signing a check.
 Done
  1. Sq miles column missing
 Done
  1. Further copyediting needed
I removed some repeated words and made tense changes. This is done to the best of my knowledge now. Please let me know if find any mistakes. --GPPande talk! 10:44, 17 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

=Nichalp «Talk»= 18:47, 14 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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