Wikipedia:Peer review/Insane Clown Posse/archive1

Insane Clown Posse

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
It's been a while since the last time I had a peer review done on an article, but I did some major work on this article and want some feedback in order to find out what needs to be done to get this article up to FA status.

Thanks, Ibaranoff24 (talk) 12:42, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

User:Yannismarou

• The lead looks to me a bit over-cited. Have in mind this.

• Cleaned up the lead's citations. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 09:19, 8 May 2008 (UTC))

• "Bruce and Utsler have also collaborated with many famous hip hop and rock musicians.[11][12] Insane Clown Posse have dedicated followers, known as Juggalos and Juggalettes.[13] Bruce and Utsler founded the independent record label Psychopathic Records with manager Alex Abbiss. The label produces and distributes works by Juggalo musicians, in addition to Bruce and Utsler's own music." This part of the lead looks a bit choppy and like trivia. It needs better prose and better prose-connection between the various issues you treat.

• Rewritten. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 09:19, 8 May 2008 (UTC))

• "Bruce, Utsler and Hill formed a gang" Do we know more about this gang. What wat it doing exactly?
• "and are known both for the dark and violent content of their lyrics", "has been criticized for the dark and violent content and perceived immaturity of their lyrics". Both sentences in the lead; a bit repetitive.

• Rewritten (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 09:19, 8 May 2008 (UTC))

• "Insane Clown Posse went back on the road with House of Krazees. Halfway through the tour, House of Krazees disbanded. Two ... " An example of choppy prose which is common place throughout the article.

• Rewritten. In the process of finding other examples and correcting this problem. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 09:19, 8 May 2008 (UTC))

• The article is well-cited, and includes some critical assessments of the group's music, which is positive. You could have also critical assessments of each album separately, as I have seen in other articles, and not only to refer to what these albums have done to the charts.--Yannismarou (talk) 07:40, 8 May 2008 (UTC)