Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Colin Hannah/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by GrahamColm 18:01, 28 May 2012 [1].

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Colin Hannah

Colin Hannah (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

• Featured article candidates/Colin Hannah/archive1

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 20 May 2012 (UTC)

The Royal Australian Air Force's first Chief of the Air Staff of the 1970s, Hannah seems not to have fulfilled his early promise when he got to be head of his service; in any case he preferred to chuck the job in early to become the first RAAF man appointed a State Governor. He created greater controversy in this role, speaking publicly against Gough Whitlam's Federal Labor government. Though Hannah probably only echoed what most of the electorate was thinking at the time, such vice-regal appointments were -- and are -- expected to remain apolitical, and the episode effectively did him out of a second term as governor. I hope you find his tale as interesting to read as I did to research... Thanks/cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:35, 20 May 2012 (UTC)

Support on prose per standard disclaimer, having reviewed the changes made since I reviewed this for A-class. Again, nothing for a poor copyeditor to do. - Dank (push to talk) 00:36, 21 May 2012 (UTC)

• Tks for your kind words, Dan! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:43, 21 May 2012 (UTC)

Sources and images but no spotchecks. Nikkimaria (talk) 02:16, 22 May 2012 (UTC)

• File:AS_Air_Force_2.jpg: do we know who designed the memorial?
  • According to Stephens' Going Solo, the final design was by Inge King. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 02:52, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• Boughton or Broughton? Nikkimaria (talk) 02:16, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
  • The former, surprisingly enough -- tks for spotting that! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 02:52, 22 May 2012 (UTC)

Support Excellent work once again Ian. While I think that this is of FA quality, I have the following suggestions:

• "was leading Western Area Command" - was the name of this unit "Western Area Command" or "Western Area" - the article's prose uses "Command", but the infobox uses "Western Area"
  • I believe the full name was Western Area Command but it was commonly known as simply Western Area and I used the latter in the infobox to avoid wrapping elements more than I had to, given it's somewhat narrow compared to the military person infobox. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• "served as senior air staff officer at RAF Far East Air Force Headquarters, Singapore, during the Malayan Emergency" - you should probably amend this to "during part of the Malayan Emergency" as this implies that he was there for the duration of this long war
  • I get you but didn't really like "part of" so tweaked it another way. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• "He attracted controversy in this role after making outspoken comments regarding the Federal government of the day" - might be understating things a bit, given that this also caused the British Government to refuse to renew his commission despite the wishes of the elected Queensland Government (which I believe is extremely rare)
  • Added something along those lines. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• You may wish to briefly note the run-down condition of 6 Sqn during Hannah's second stint as its commander (not that this seems to have been his fault) - see Odgers p. 330
  • Didn't find Odgers that precise in the timing re. the poor state of the aircraft, but the page was useful to get an idea of the squadron's duties for the time Hannah would have been running it the second time -- tks. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• The caption to the photo of the RAAF Memorial should note that the black panels are a recent addition, and not Hannah's fault. They were unveiled in 2002 (reference). Nick-D (talk) 09:00, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Will do -- it's ironic but as those new bits with the images are more representational, they might have negated some of the criticism that Stephens mentions if only they'd been part of the memorial in the first place... ;-) As ever, tks a lot for support and suggestions. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
• Comments: Supported below Started a read through, a couple minor suggestions thus far:
• "resulting in the British government refusing to agree to an extension of his term." Is there a good way to avoid the fused participle here?
  • Does "and the British government refused to agree to an extension of his term" read better for you? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:28, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
    • Yes, I think that does read better. Mark Arsten (talk) 03:00, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
      • Okay, altered to "and the British government refused to agree to his term being extended" -- roughly the same but seemed a bit punchier. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:27, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
• It seems a bit odd to have one sentence about his personal life sandwiched in the second paragraph of "Early career", perhaps move that to the end of the paragraph? Mark Arsten (talk) 22:52, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
  • While I'm not wed to absolute chronological order in a bio, it seemed to make sense here since the post that followed his marriage wasn't closely connected with the one before/during his wedding. In fact mentioning it at the end means we shift back in place and time, since the wedding occurred in Western Australia, where he was stationed before he went to Victoria for the last posting mentioned. Tks for review so far! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:28, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I see what you mean. I guess that's not a problem then. Mark Arsten (talk) 03:00, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
• "Returning to Australia, in May 1949 he assumed command of RAAF Station Amberley" Just check, but did you mean to put the comma before the date here?
  • Yes -- I know the month he took command of Amberley but not with certainty when he returned to Australia. Appreciate you checking, though... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:21, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
• "It was the object of much adverse comment in the ensuing years, with personnel complaining of being mistaken for bus, train and postal employees." I'd suggest a slight rephrasing here, maybe "It was the object of much adverse comment in the ensuing years; personnel complained of being mistaken for bus, train and postal employees."
  • Ah, yes, the dreaded "with" -- done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:21, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
• Support Excellent read, I found very little to complain about. A worthy addition to our featured content. Mark Arsten (talk) 18:39, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Many tks, Mark. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:21, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
• Support – Read through the article and the prose is FA-worthy, as usual from Ian. Wish I could provide more detailed analysis than that, but when the writing is good and I don't have anything to complain about, I can't. Giants2008 (Talk) 01:31, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Much appreciated, tks mate. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 07:41, 23 May 2012 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.