Template:Did you know nominations/Jyotigram Yojana

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 00:38, 20 July 2020 (UTC)

Jyotigram Yojana

5x expanded by Santoshdts (talk). Self-nominated at 01:32, 24 May 2020 (UTC).

  • 5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, well referenced. The article needs a copyedit for English grammar. The beginning of the Background section, for example, is three separate sentences where there should be one with commas. It's unclear what "dedicates" means in the second sentence of the lead. I understand Indian publications speak this way, but the English needs to be understandable to a worldwide audience. I suggest you apply at WP:GOCE for help here. The references also need to be formatted with the title, author, date of publication. Earwig's shows no copyvios, but I noticed a quote copied from one source in the lead and put quote marks around it. If you copied anything else from a source, it needs to be in quotes or rewritten in your own language.
  • Regarding the hook, it may work better to shorten it and make it more understandable by piping the article title. But we can discuss that after the copyedit.
  • No QPQ needed for nominator with less than 5 DYK credits. Yoninah (talk) 21:09, 22 June 2020 (UTC)
@Yoninah: Thank you for reviewing the article and correcting the errors in the lead. I am placing a request at GOCE for copyedit right now. Regards. Santoshdts [TalkToMe] 09:38, 23 June 2020 (UTC)

Copyedit is  Done; one bare URL remains as the website just cannot be loaded. Can I Log In (talk) 00:04, 18 July 2020 (UTC)

  • Thank you, Can I Log In, for the copyedit. I don't see any bare URLs and I've formatted the remaining refs. Let's return to the review. The article looks good now, but I would like to suggest shortening and fine-tuning the hook so readers outside India will understand it. How about something like this:
  • ALT2: ... that in a radical reform of its power grid, Gujarat became the first state in India to separate electricity feeder lines between agricultural and consumer usage? Yoninah (talk) 20:16, 18 July 2020 (UTC)
Thank you Can I Log In for the copyedit and Yoninah for making necessary changes to the hook. The altered hook ALT2 looks appropriate and refined. Thank you again. Santoshdts [TalkToMe] 16:48, 19 July 2020 (UTC)
  • Great, thanks. Since I added some hook facts, we need someone else to complete this review. As this is an old nomination, we need immediate assistance. Pinging evrik and Kingsif. Thanks. Yoninah (talk) 16:50, 19 July 2020 (UTC)
  • 5x expanded a few days before nomination, long enough. Hook fact cited inline and interesting - Business Today source looks good. My only concern would be the Background section only being cited at the end, but should be good for DYK. No QPQ needed per review above. Kingsif (talk) 22:14, 19 July 2020 (UTC)