Template:Did you know nominations/Connie Carberg

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 19:33, 1 July 2020 (UTC)

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Connie Carberg

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Created by Eagles247 (talk). Self-nominated at 01:08, 8 June 2020 (UTC).

  • Hi Eagles247, review follows: article created 8 June; article exceeds minimum length; article is well written and cited inline throughout to reliable sources; I didn't notice any overly close paraphrasing; hook is interesting and mentioned in the article; hook fact checks out to source cited; a QPQ has been done (as a second reviewer). What a great new article on an interesting subject, thanks for writing this - Dumelow (talk) 21:53, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
  • @Eagles247: would you mind submitting a hook about what she's actually accomplished, besides being the "first woman"? Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 22:49, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
ALT1: ... that Connie Carberg became the first female scout in National Football League history in 1976, and helped the New York Jets evaluate Mark Gastineau?
  • @Eagles247: Sorry, this "first...in history" sounds pretty breathless. You wouldn't say that about a man, would you? Here's another suggestion:
  • ALT2: ... that while Connie Carberg was working as a receptionist for the New York Jets, the team asked her to make the final selection in the 1975 NFL Draft? Yoninah (talk) 22:32, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah: I don't find that hook particularly interesting, considering there were 17 draft rounds in 1975 (as opposed to only seven in 2020). Being the first female scout in NFL history is a much more impressive feat considering there have still only been a handful of women who have ever been members of an NFL team's football operations department. Eagles 24/7 (C) 14:36, 20 June 2020 (UTC)
You've have to add that in to the article, but it's found in this source already in the article.1 — Maile (talk) 19:56, 20 June 2020 (UTC)
I also think 'first female' hooks should be reserved for when there's nothing else interesting. There's plenty interesting about Carberg. Kingsif (talk) 20:02, 20 June 2020 (UTC)
Being the first in this particular case is a remarkable achievement and could even interest those who aren't into American football, ALT4 is much more niche and my not be interesting to those unfamiliar with the New York Jets. It could be possible to combine the "first scout" with any of the other hook proposals given here. Perhaps as a compromise, a combination of ALT0 and ALT4 could work? Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 03:09, 21 June 2020 (UTC)
ALT5: ... that Connie Carberg, the NFL's first female scout, made mock drafts as a hobby while growing up?
ALT6: ... that Connie Carberg, the NFL's first female scout, was allowed to attend Buckeyes team practices by Woody Hayes while a student at Ohio State? —valereee (talk) 20:30, 22 June 2020 (UTC)
ALT6 is a bit niche since not everyone would know who Hayes is (especially those who aren't into college football). ALT5 might be a better option in this case (I've linked to mock draft for the benefit of readers). Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 06:16, 29 June 2020 (UTC)
  • ALT5 cited in line to clipping, neutral and interesting hook. Rest of review per above. Kingsif (talk) 19:10, 1 July 2020 (UTC)
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