Talk:Zungeni Mountain skirmish/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 08:45, 23 November 2022 (UTC)
I'll take this one, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 08:45, 23 November 2022 (UTC)
Firstly, it is good to see an article from one of Queen Victoria's "Little Wars" here at GA. I picked up on a few things, but a lot of it is simply about links and slight clarity/contextual tweaks for ease of reading, as otherwise it is in pretty good order. My comments:
Lead[edit]
- link colonel, levies, irregular horse (this could be to Irregular military), Major-General, squadron, Lieutenant
- Maybe add a qualifier to the first sentence, perhaps "...in what is now South Africa"
- Perhaps delete the "regular" from "regular British cavalry"? I think if using "irregular", then any units not identified as such will inherently be understood to be regular units.
Background[edit]
- link Zululand? For context, I wonder if it may be helpful to provide some written context for what constitutes Zululand, even if it is simply just referred to its modern day location in South Africa.
- Chelmsford relieved the Siege of Eshowe...: Siege should be lower case here. I also suggest adding, perhaps in the previous paragraph that the British were besieged at Eshowe to provide more context.
- The reinforced Centre Column, including the cavalry brigade,...: To provide better context for the Centre Column, perhaps rephrase to something like, "Following the fighting at Isandlwana, the survivors of the Centre Column were reinforced with the cavalry brigade..."
- Link Ulundi, irregular horse, any ranks on first mention
- had moved forwards...: forwards should be forward
Skirmish[edit]
- ...included a squadron of Baker's Horse...: link squadron here
- Marshall received news that a sizeable Zulu force...: to me this implies Marshall was the commander of 2nd Division but the background sectoon says Newdigate was. Also is this Zulu force that of the first skirmish or another group of Zulu?
Aftermath[edit]
- Suggest integrating the first sentence of this section into the last paragraph of the previous section; some parts of it are redundant and what is left would work better there I think.
- link levies
- returned to Natal, others were kept: suggest "returned to Natal, while others were kept"
Other stuff[edit]
- Generally sources look fine. Place of publication for the Laband and Smith books
- The images look to be OK although there is an "invalid parameter" field in the licensing section for the Zungeni map image. I think the Death of lt frith should be able to be moved to Commons as Melton Prior died in 1910 and tags amended accordingly.
- No dupe links
That's it for me, placing the review on hold for now. Zawed (talk) 03:25, 27 November 2022 (UTC)