Talk:Shanghai/GA2

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GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Bobbychan193 (talk · contribs) 23:46, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Hey there! I'll be reviewing this article over the next few days. Please be patient, and let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I've lived in Shanghai for a number of years, so this should be fun. Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:46, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

Prose  Done
  • Make sure all information in the lead is repeated and cited in the body of the article.
  • I suggest moving all citations into the body of the article and keeping the lead clean and free of citations (see MOS:LEADCITE)
    • Non-controversial ones  Done, but citations are probably needed for claims like "Shanghai is a global financial hub." (see Singapore) and numbers (see Seattle). Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is the most populous urban area in China, and the second most populous city proper in the world (after Chongqing)." Before this sentence, add With a population of 24.2 million {{as of|2018|lc=y}}, [...] for better context
  • Try to split up the middle paragraph; it's a little long. Maybe at "During World War II, [...]"
    •  Done, but before another sentence. Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Expand the last paragraph. Try include a sentence (or at least part of a sentence) on each of the following topics: Shanghai cuisine, the Shanghai Free-Trade Zone, Shanghainese, culture (visual arts, cinema, performing arts, etc.)
  • There are a lot of famous events held in Shanghai every year (Shanghai Fashion Week, Shanghai Art Festival, Shanghai Tour Festival, Shanghai Movie and Television Festival, Chinese Grand Prix, Shanghai Masters, etc.); say something like "Shanghai hosts numerous international events, [...]" then either list 4 to 5 of the most famous ones, or say "spanning numerous industries including fashion, entertainment, and sports"
  • "As a major administrative, shipping, and trading city, Shanghai grew in importance in the 19th century" this seems a bit weird, since this paragraph talks about Shanghai's history. Was Shanghai "a major administrative, shipping, and trading city" in or before the 19th century? Probably not. The word "major" is also subjective. I would replace this entire phrase with a segue from early history, like "Originally a fishing village and market town, Shanghai grew [...]"
Infobox  Done
  • "Dong Yunhu[citation needed]" add citation
  • "($494 billion)(11th)" add space in between
  • Why is $494 billion in parentheses, while $20,425 isn't? Be consistent
  • "沪A-沪B, 沪D-沪H, 沪J-沪N" change hyphens to en dashes (–)

Prose[edit]

Overall reminders and comments[edit]

  • Make sure there aren't any duplicate Wikilinks throughout the body of the article; see MOS:LINK (and specifically MOS:DL)
    •  Done But there is a whole section on Shanghai FTZ, and the link to the FTZ has appeared earlier. Shall I still delete the link in this case? Akira CA (talk) 12:00, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • For these kinds of situations, what you can do is use the {{main}} template, then delete duplicate links.
  • Use American English (per the article's talk page)
  • "10 meters (33 feet) high and 5 kilometers (3 miles)" abbreviate all units in parentheses (i.e. imperial units). Also abbreviate things like "square kilometers"
  • Try to be consistent throughout the article (i.e. "Old City", "mainland China", serial comma, etc.)
  • There's only a few citations left in the lead. Some of the information that they're citing isn't repeated in the body of the article. We should make sure we do that, then move the citations down. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • If you have time, add alternative text to all of the images
  • We should expand the Economy section. For starters, we should add a section titled "Foreign trade and investment" that includes exports, imports, foreign investment, etc.

Subsections[edit]

Etymology  Done
  • "Upon-the-Sea" delete hyphens (unless written like this in a citation) (also change this in the infobox)
  • "at which time" change to "when"
  • "There are disputes as to exactly how the name should be understood" change to "How the name should be understood has been disputed"
  • "during the Tang dynasty Shanghai" comma after dynasty
  • Resolve the "clarification needed" tag
  • There are several citations that simply provide Traditional Chinese and Shanghainese versions of Simplified Chinese characters. Try to change these into notes instead of citations. Use these codes: {{#tag:ref|Insert note here.<ref>Insert citation here.</ref>|group=note}} and {{reflist|group=note}} (See Vietnam and the World Bank and its source code as an example.)
  • "a contraction of 沪渎 (Hù Dú/Vu Doh, lit "Harpoon Ditch"),[22][23] a 4th- or 5th-century Jin name for the mouth of Suzhou Creek when it was the main conduit into the ocean.[22]" The first [22] citation can be deleted since everything is in the same sentence.
  • "This character appears on all motor vehicle license plates issued in the municipality today." I know this is "common sense", but it's best to add a citation.
  • "Sports teams and newspapers in Shanghai" change to "Shanghainese sports teams and newspapers"
  • "established by the Governor of Wu Commandery Zhao Juzhen at modern-day Songjiang" change to "established by Zhao Juzhen, the governor of Wu Commandery at modern-day Songjiang" (note that "Governor" should be lowercase)
  • "Today" this is problematic, because the reader (as well as fellow editors) don't know when the last time this was fact-checked or updated. Change to an "as of" template. Also try to find and add a more recent citation than the one from 2004.
  • "The city also has various nicknames in English" delete "also"
History  Done
Ancient / Imperial history  Done
  • "the Shanghai area" was Shanghai already a defined area during this time period? If not, change this to "the area of modern-day Shanghai"
  • Starting to see some duplicate Wikilinks, such as Lord Chunshen. Just a reminder to go through the entire article and make sure there aren't any duplicates.
  • Cite the last sentence ending with "abbreviation for the city."
  • "fifth year" change to "the fifth year"
  • "contemporary sources" vague. Say something like "contemporary scholars" if possible
    •  I reviewed the source and substituted it with "historically". Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The famous Song scholar and artist Mi Fu served as its mayor." famous to whom? Either clarify, or delete "famous"
  • "The port had a thriving trade" change to either "The port had a thriving trade relationship" or "The port experienced thriving trade"
  • "as well as foreign countries" add "with" before "foreign"
  • "By the end of the Song dynasty, the center of trading had moved downstream of the Wusong River to Shanghai, which was upgraded in status from a village to a market town in 1074, and in 1172 a second sea wall was built to stabilize the ocean coastline, supplementing an earlier dike." add comma after 1172. It's also a long sentence; split it up somewhere in the middle, like this: "By the end of the Song dynasty, the center of trading had moved downstream of the Wusong River to Shanghai. It was upgraded in status from a village to a market town in 1074, and in 1172, a second sea wall was built to stabilize the ocean coastline, supplementing an earlier dike."
  • "whose" not sure if this is the right word. Rephrase
  • "10 metres (33 feet) high and 5 kilometres (3 miles)" American spellings. There's a parameter in the convert template to do this
  • "important psychological boost" what does this mean? Clarify
  • "It probably reflected the town's economic importance, as opposed to its low political status." Rephrase to say "Scholars have theorized that this likely reflected the town's economic importance, as opposed to its low political status."
  • "policy changes: In 1684" lowercase i
  • "vessels – a ban" change en dash to em dash and delete spaces. Since the lead already uses em dashes, let's be consistent throughout the article and exclusively use em dashes in these kinds of situations
  • "in 1732" add comma
  • "by 1735 Shanghai had become the major trade port for all of the lower Yangtze region" change to "Shanghai became the major trade port for all of the lower Yangtze region by 1735"
Rise and golden age  Done
  • This section has only a few citations; make sure every fact and claim is cited.
  • "International attention to Shanghai grew in the 19th century" move "in the 19th century" to the beginning of the sentence
  • "The war ended with the 1842 Treaty of Nanking" change to "The war ended in 1842 with the Treaty of Nanking"
  • "dictate opening the treaty ports, Shanghai included, for international trade" can we be more specific about "the treaty ports"? There were five Chinese cities opened as treaty ports right?
  • "The Treaty of the Bogue signed in 1843, and the Sino-American Treaty of Wanghia signed in 1844 forced" change to "The Treaty of the Bogue and the Sino-American Treaty of Wanghia (signed in 1843 and 1844, respectively) forced"
    •  Rephrased, but not sure if "1844 and 1844" is the right phrase to use. Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "(under the 1844 Treaty of Whampoa)" probably not needed; delete
  • "fell to the rebels of the Small Swords Society" change to "fell to rebels from the Small Swords Society"
  • "in 1853 but" missing comma
  • "Between 1860–1862," change dash to "and"
  • En dashes to em dashes. Won't be commenting on this again; try to change it throughout the rest of the article
  • "fled the newly established Soviet Union and took up residence in Shanghai" change to "fled the newly established Soviet Union to reside in Shanghai"
  • "which were soon" change "were" to "was"
  • "Far East" either link or explain
  • "Although the territory of the foreign concessions was excluded from their control" can we change this to say "Although the foreign concessions territories were excluded from their control"? Is this accurate? There were at least two separate territories right?
  • "kilometres" Amer. spelling
  • "Baoshan, Yangpu, Zhabei, Nanshi, and Pudong" if these are the first instances of appearing in the body of the article, they should be linked (and duplicate links later on should be deleted)
  • "when the plan was interrupted" change to "before being interrupted"
Wartime era / Modern history  Done
  • "The Battle of Shanghai in 1937 resulted in the occupation of the Chinese administered parts of Shanghai outside of the International Settlement and the French Concession." change to "In 1937, the Battle of Shanghai resulted in the occupation of the Chinese-administered parts of Shanghai outside of the International Settlement and the French Concession."
  • "People who stayed in the occupied city of Shanghai saw no end to their suffering. They experienced death, hunger, destruction, and oppression on daily basis." change to "People who stayed in the occupied city suffered on a daily basis, experiencing hunger, oppression, or even death."
  • "[...], during which time many war crimes were committed." change to "; many war crimes were committed during this time."
  • "People's Republic of China" first instance; link
  • "over the next decade" is used twice. I would delete the first instance, because even today, Shanghai, Beijing, and Tianjin are still their own provinces.
  • "Shanghai underwent a series of changes in the boundaries of its subdivisions over the next decade. After 1949, most foreign firms moved their offices from Shanghai to Hong Kong, as part of a foreign divestment due to the Communist victory." both of these sentences are unsourced
    •  First sentence deleted (it overlaps with the next paragraph). Second done.
  • "divestment" link
  • "the Communist victory" change to "the PRC's victory" or "the Liberation Army's victory"
  • Some of these citations are incomplete. Specifically: "Problems and Planning in Third World Cities (Routledge Revivals), edited by Michael Pacione"; "Metropolitan Planning and Management in the Developing World: Shanghai and Guangzhou, China"; and "The Party: The Secret World of China Communist rulers". These seem like book titles, so do a quick online search and add any author names, publishers, publishing years, ISBNs, etc. you find.
  • "86,300 hectares" "591,000 hectares" use the {{convert}} template. Replace hectares with square kilometers (km2 in the template), and have either acres or square miles in parentheses.
  • Keep in mind MOS:LINK (and specifically MOS:DL)
  • "the urban districts were reduced to 10." what does this mean? There were 10 districts left? This should be clarified. Either say how many districts there were before this reduction, or clarify how many districts got removed to get to this result of 10.
  • "During the 1950s and 1960s, Shanghai became the center for radical leftism since it was the industrial center of China with most skilled industrial workers." change to "As the industrial center of China with most skilled industrial workers, Shanghai became a center for radical leftism during the 1950s and 1960s."
  • "Yet, even during the most tumultuous times of the Cultural Revolution, Shanghai was able to maintain high economic productivity and relative social stability." subjective-sounding sentences like this should be cited
  • "During most of the history of the PRC, Shanghai has been a comparatively heavy contributor of tax revenue to the central government, with Shanghai in 1983 contributing more in tax revenue to the central government than Shanghai had received in investment in the prior 33 years combined." too long; cut it down. Something like "Since 1949, Shanghai has been a comparatively heavy contributor of tax revenue to the central government; in 1983, the city's contribution in tax revenue was greater than investment received in the past 33 years combined."
  • "welfare" add "the"
  • The final few sentences are all uncited
  • "starting the massive development still seen today and the birth of Lujiazui in Pudong" change to "which started the massive development still seen today and created Lujiazui in Pudong"
Geography  Done
Beginning section  Done
  • I just noticed that "Old City" is not consistently capitalized throughout the article. I suggest making it all capitalized, unless there is a different usage for the near-identical phrase, "old city". (If so, let me know)
  • "Municipality of Shanghai" add link (even though it currently redirects to another section in the same article, it can still be useful for readers, and an article might be created for it in the future)
  • Add links: "Chongming Island", "island in mainland China" (the current link links to a redirect to List of islands of China, so might as well link that directly. It's unfortunate that the list is incomplete/not very useful, but oh well), "tributary", "sandy soil" (link to loam)
  • Also link any regions/locations that are appearing for the first time in the article, and any terms that the average reader might not understand
  • "This deep-water port was made necessary by the increasing size of container ships but also the silting of the Yangtze, which narrows to less than 20 meters (66 ft) as far out as 45 miles (70 km) from Hengsha." confusing sentence (clarify); change "ships but also" to "ships, as well as" for better flow (no pun intended)
    • ☒N Deleted, this is irrelevant to geography and already existed below
  • delete "that was"
  • "The central financial district Lujiazui" add commas before and after Lujiazui
  • "has grown up" weird phrasing. Change
  • "occasioned by the creation" change to "due to the creation"
  • Move "along the peninsula's eastern shore" to the beginning of the sentence, and add a comma
  • "Shanghai's location on an alluvial plain means that" change to "Shanghai is located on an alluvial plain. As such, [...]"
  • "The few hills such as She Shan lie to the southwest and the highest point is the peak of Dajinshan Island in Hangzhou Bay" change to "Shanghai's few hills, such as Sheshan, lie to the southwest, and the city's highest point is the peak of Dajinshan Island in Hangzhou Bay"
  • "streams and lakes" missing serial comma
Climate  Done
  • "Winters are chilly and damp, with northwesterly winds from Siberia can cause nighttime temperatures to drop below freezing, although most years there are only one or two days of snowfall." change to "Winters are chilly and damp—northwesterly winds from Siberia can cause nighttime temperatures to drop below freezing, although in most years, there are only one or two days of snowfall."
  • "Summers are hot and humid, with an average of 8.7 days exceeding 35 °C (95 °F) annually; occasional downpours or freak thunderstorms can be expected." change to "Summers are hot and humid, and occasional downpours or freak thunderstorms can be expected. On average, 8.7 days exceed 35 °C (95 °F) annually."
  • "in summer and the beginning of autumn" move to beginning of sentence
  • Delete "also" in "is also susceptible"
  • "none of which in recent years has caused considerable damage" change to "which have not caused considerable damage in recent years"
  • "The most pleasant seasons are" change to "The most pleasant seasons are generally"; change second "generally" to "usually"
  • "on 21 July 2017" move this earlier to after "registered"
  • Try to spread out the five citations at the end to make it easier for readers to find the sources for each claim.
    •  Moved some, but deleted those on the same subject
  • Add links for "Xujiahui" (either to Xujiahui or Xujiahui station; probably the latter; and add Xujiahui link for next appearance) and "China Meteorological Administration"
    •  That's more likely to be a weather station, so I linked Xujiahui
Cityscape  Done
  • Add caption for first image. Say "The Pudong skyline"
  • "Panoramic view of Pudong's skyline from the Bund" change to "Panoramic view of the Pudong skyline from the Bund" (note that image captions, tables, etc. are allowed to have duplicate links)
  • "Panoramic view of the Bund" add "from Pudong" at the end
  • Unrelated to the review, but I really like Shanghai's cityscape. It's great.
    • Glad to hear that as I'm a native Shanghainese XD. Akira CA (talk) 00:23, 6 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Architecture  Done
  • The entire first paragraph is unsourced. Add at least one or two citations in there.
  • Try to add extra sources to the rest of this section as well. The citations seem sparse.
  • Add links (especially to famous buildings and architects) where possible. Redlinks are fine when "an article should be created for the topic because the subject is notable and verifiable". Use your own judgement here, and see WP:RED for more information.
  • "art deco Sassoon House" capitalize Art Deco
  • "one of the world's largest number of Art Deco buildings" any way to make this more concise? Also add citation
    • How about simply "Shanghai has many Art Deco buildings"?  Cited Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Does the source you added support the claim? If so, what I changed it to is fine. Otherwise, delete and replace with "Shanghai has many Art Deco buildings" Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:18, 8 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hungarian-Slovak architect" delete architect
  • "Mansions, and Austrian" change , to ;
  • "Capital Theatre" American spelling unless "Theatre" is part of the official name
  • "Dutch Architect" lowercase architect
  • "In recent years, a great deal of architecturally distinctive and even eccentric buildings have sprung up throughout Shanghai." cut down on flowery language and/or add a citation
  • "old city"
  • "known as a longtang" delete "a"
  • "pronounced longdang in Shanghainese" this seems like it should be in a note
  • "The whole resembles terrace houses or townhouses commonly seen in Anglo-American countries, but distinguished by the tall, heavy brick wall in front of each house." confusing sentence, rephrase and clarify
  • The entire next paragraph is uncited. Also try to make it sound more neutral/encyclopedic
  • "Less than Beijing" what does this mean?
  • "During this decade" 1949 to 1960s seems like more than a decade, so either clarify, or change "decade" to "time period"
  • "Shanghai Exhibition Centre" it seems that the article it links to calls it "Center", so I would change the spelling (and the link) to "Center"
  • "The Pudong district of Shanghai is home to a number of skyscrapers, many of which rank among the tallest in the world." Aren't there skyscrapers outside of Pudong? Reword this sentence to something like "Shanghai—Pudong district in particular—has numerous skyscrapers, many of which are among the tallest in the world."
  • Link "tallest in the world" to List of tallest buildings and structures (and delete duplicate link later on)
    •  Rephrased so the first instance disappeared. Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "metres" throughout this paragraph: American spelling
  • "ranks tenth in the world" change to "the tenth tallest in the world"
    • ☒N Deleted, the Shanghai Tower is explained in details instead (as it's the tallest now). Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "[...], as well as" change to "and"
  • Also check if these rankings are still accurate. I don't know when the last time the article was updated; there might have been new skyscrapers.
  • This section overall is very long. I recommend adding subsections so that its seven paragraphs can flow better. Some potential subsection headings: "20th-century architecture", "Contemporary architecture", "Shikumen", skyscrapers, etc. Some restructuring or re-ordering of paragraphs might be needed. Make sure to move relevant images to their own sections as well.
  • Also try to expand or add a new paragraph about skyscrapers. Currently, only their heights are listed. Try to add some content about their architectural designs, as well as their functions.
Politics  Done
Structure  Done
  • For the table, try to add some references where possible. I think this is especially important for the "Assumed office" row.
  • "Like virtually all governing institutions in mainland China" try to add a link here somewhere to the article Politics of China
  • "politics in Shanghai is structured in a parallel party-government system" this sounds a little awkward. Can we change to something like "Shanghai has a parallel party-government system"
  • "party-government system" link if possible
  • "policy formulation" change to "policy-formulation"
  • Add citation(s) for the latter half of the first paragraph.
  • "is widely seen" by whom? Explain and/or cite (if this is referring to all of the past examples, change to say "has frequently been a stepping stone [...]")
  • Citations seem to be missing for Xi Jinping, Yu Zhengsheng, and Han Zheng. Add if possible.
  • "corruption" link to Corruption in China
  • New paragraph break before "Officials with ties [...]"
  • "Officials with ties to the Shanghai administration form a powerful faction in the national government" reads awkwardly. Either add "collectively" before "form", or change "form" to "are part of" (whichever one seems more accurate)
  • Cite the last sentence
Administrative divisions  Done
  • "Area in km2" change to "Area (km2)"
  • For the "Divisions in Chinese and varieties of romanizations" table, add a row at the top explaining each of the columns: "District", "Chinese name", and "Pinyin" (I'm not sure what the last column is supposed to be)
    •  The table actually has this row, but is somehow hidden. Akira CA (talk) 02:44, 14 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • If possible, add one citation for the entire table at the top (after "romanizations"). If there isn't a source for you to conveniently do this, don't worry about it.
    • cannot find one for Shanghainese romanization :( Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Even though" change to "Although"
  • "administration units are located in Huangpu District, which also serve" change "administration" to "administrative" and "serve" to "serves"
  • "classy" cite, reword, or delete
  • "Huaihai Road (previously Avenue Joffre) in Huangpu District and Xujiahui (formerly Romanized as Zikawei or Siccawei, reflecting the Shanghainese pronunciation)" change the parentheses to notes (like what we did in the Etymology section)
  • "formerly Romanized" lowercase r
    •  Rephrased to "Shanghainese romanization" Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "residential areas of" change "of" to "in"
  • "Pudong New Area (Chuansha County until 1992, merged with Nanhui District in 2009 and with oversight of the Jiuduansha shoals)" change comma to semicolon, delete "and", change what's in the parentheses to a note, and add Chinese 浦东新区 in parentheses for consistency with the other terms
  • "further" change to "farther"
  • For this entire paragraph, change everything in parentheses into notes. (No need for Chinese terms because they're already in the table.)
  • "The islands of Changxing and Hengsha and most (but not all) of Chongming Island form Chongming District." change to "Chongming District comprises the islands of Changxing and Hengsha and most—but not all—of Chongming Island." (Leave the citation before the em dash)
  • "In 2011" add comma
  • Combine last two paragraphs
  • "109 towns, 2 townships, 99 subdistricts" add "and"
  • "At the end of the year 2017, the total population is 24.18 million." delete this sentence entirely. Population is covered in the "Demographics" section
Economy  Done
Beginning section  Done
  • First sentence: add serial comma. It also sounds very similar to the lead, so perhaps some of those citations can be moved down to this sentence/section?
    • Here it is "center of China", but in the lead is "global center". Shall I change it to "global center" and move all the citations down? (current citation is on "center of China") Akira CA (talk) 00:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Yes, as long as it accurately reflects the citation. Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:36, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
        • Wait, actually I can't put anything here after moving down the citation for "center for finance" to Finance subsection. Akira CA (talk) 06:15, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
          • What do you mean? It seems that the citation was moved down already. Also, I have some issues with the citation that I wrote in the Citations section on the GA review page. Bobbychan193 (talk) 06:18, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
            • I mean "the citation was moved down already" XD. Sorry for my poor English. So we need to make the lead completely clear of citations? Akira CA (talk) 06:27, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
              • See WP:LEAD. What we should do is repeat all information in the lead, in the body. What’s optional is having citations or no citations in the lead. I personally prefer the latter, and since we’re almost there, let’s try to aim for that. Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:00, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with a GDP of ¥3.27 trillions (US$494 billions) that makes up 3.63% of China's GDP,[10][108] and a GDP per capita of ¥135,212 (US$20,425) in 2018." Split this sentence off from the first part. Rephrase to say "{{As of}} 2018, Shanghai had a GDP of [...]"
  • "¥3.27 trillions (US$494 billions)" remove the "s" from both words
  • "GDP per capita" link. It will redirect to another article, but that's fine.
  • "The six pillar industries" change to "Shanghai's six largest industries" (unless that's inaccurate. Verify)
  • Missing serial comma again
  • Again, it seems similar to the lead, so maybe some of those citations can be moved down to this sentence.
  • "consist" change to "comprise"
  • "Average annual disposable income of Shanghai residents was ¥64,183 (US$9,695) per capita in 2018" change to "In 2018, the average [...]"
  • "according to the study of Economist Intelligence Unit in 2017" change to "according to a 2017 study by the Economist Intelligence Unit"
  • Table: "GDP per Capita" lowercase c
  • "In the last two decades" add comma
  • "fastest developing" add hyphen in between
  • Change : to ;
  • "double-digit growth" in what? GDP or population? Clarify, like "double-digit GDP growth"
  • "and the global recession of 2008" change to "and 2008, before the financial crisis of 2007–2008"
Finance  Done
Manufacturing, tourism, free-trade zone  Done
  • "Shanghai is one of the main industrial centers of China, playing a key role in China's heavy industries" change to "As one of the main industrial centers of China, Shanghai plays a key role in domestic heavy industries"
  • "A large number of" change to "Several"
  • Em dashes before and after the list
  • "China's largest steelmaker Baosteel Group, China's largest shipbuilding base – Hudong-Zhonghua Shipbuilding Group, and the Jiangnan Shipyard, one of China's oldest shipbuilders are all located in Shanghai" change to "Shanghai is home to China's largest steelmaker Baosteel Group, China's largest shipbuilding base Hudong-Zhonghua Shipbuilding Group, and one of China's oldest shipbuilders, the Jiangnan Shipyard" (add links where possible)
  • "Auto manufacture" change to "Auto manufacturing" (with direct link)
  • "Tourism in general is a major industry of the city." change to "Tourism is a major industry of Shanghai."
  • "visited Shanghai for an approximate increase of 7% from the previous year" change to "visited the city, a 7% increase from the previous year"
  • "RMB950 (US$153)" all currency values throughout the article should be made consistent. I suggest using the {{CNY}} and {{US$}} templates (and use the link parameter for the first instance for each)
  • Entire paragraph is uncited
  • "As of September 2013" let's try to get this updated to more a recent time, and use {{as of}}.
  • " — " remove spaces
  • Serial comma
  • "FTZ" change to "zone"
  • "Zone" lowercase z
  • "PRC" appears twice in this article, but is never spelled out. Can we replace both? "China's victory" and "Chinese territory"
    •  Done here, but probably not "China's victory" because that's on Chinese Civil War. Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "are not subject to duty and customs clearance as would otherwise be the case" change to "are exempt from duty and customs clearance"
  • Image caption: "The Nanjing Pedestrian Street in the evening, with the he Radisson New World Hotel in the background" is there an extra "he" here?
Demographics  Done
Beginning section  Done
  • "As of 2018" convert to template
  • "Shanghai has a total population of 24,237,800, 14,551,300 (59.7%) of whom are hukou holders" change to "Shanghai had a total population of 24,237,800, including 14,551,300 (59.7%) hukou holders"
  • "are urban and 10.7％ are rural" change to "live in urban areas, and 10.7% live in rural areas"
  • "Chinese Government" lowercase g
  • "resulting in a 10,000 decline in population" change to "resulting in a population decline of 10,000 people"
  • This sentence also has "Since 2017" and "by the end of 2017" in the same sentence. Can we delete one or try to consolidate to avoid redundancy?
  • "Among all residents in Shanghai about 157,900 are foreigners, including 28,900 Japanese, 21,900 Americans and 20,800 Koreans" missing two commas: one after Shanghai and one serial comma
  • "real" change to "actual"
  • Actually this sentence should probably be restructured and split. We should add "According to ..." in the beginning. So the sentence would read something like "According to ..., about 157,900 residents in Shanghai are foreigners, including ... Koreans. However, the actual number ... higher."
  • "Shanghai is also a domestic immigration city, with 40.3% (9.8 million) of the city's residents come from other regions of China" change to "Shanghai is also a domestic immigration city—40.3% (9.8 million) of the city's residents are from other regions of China"
  • "life expectancy of 83.63" link life expectancy, add "years" after
  • "huji population" what is this? Define, link, or replace both instances with something else
  • "putting it the top in mainland China in terms of life expectancy" change to "the highest life expectancy of all cities in mainland China" tweak the current link to be around the words "all cities in mainland China"
  • "However the longevity" change to "However, this"
  • "age severely" change to "experience population aging", link "aging" to Aging of China
  • "The encompassing metropolitan area was estimated by the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) to have, as of 2010, a population of 34 million." change to "In 2010, the OECD estimated Shanghai's metropolitan area to have a population of 34 million."
  • Are both sources necessary here? If so, swap the position of the lower number citation with the higher number citation.
Religion  Done
  • Comments for entire section:
    • Add more citations, especially for any subjective claims
    • Add/fix links for Buddhists, Protestants, Catholics, Jews, etc. and delete duplicate links that they appear later on, like Buddhism; try to add links for the temples that aren't currently linked (if there's no English article, check for a Chinese article)
    • Try to find at least one image of a church or temple and add it here
  • Add {{See also}} for Religion in China
  • "cosmopolitan" not sure if this is the best word to use here. Perhaps "diverse"?
    • Probably not "diverse history"; sounds weird. Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Shanghai has a blend of religious heritage as shown by the religious buildings and institutions still scattered around the city" change to "Shanghai has a blend of religious heritage; religious buildings and institutions are scattered around the city"
  • "According to a 2012 survey" add comma and move the citation to the end of the sentence
  • "of the population of Shanghai" change to "of the city's population"
  • "There are folk religious temples" change to "Shanghai has several folk religious temples"
  • "Wenmiao" change to "Confucian Temple of Shanghai" (and link)
  • Delete "Temple of the God of Culture", and possibly "dedicated to Confucius" (seems redundant). Combine with previous sentence to say: "Shanghai is home to the Confucian Temple of Shanghai and the White Cloud Temple of Shanghai, a major Taoist center."
    •  All combined into one sentence. Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "since ancient times" be more specific, add citation
  • "The Longhua Temple, the largest temple in Shanghai, and the Jing'an Temple, were first founded in the Three Kingdoms period" change to "The Longhua Temple—the largest temple in Shanghai—and the Jing'an Temple were founded in the Three Kingdoms period"
  • "Islam came into Shanghai 700 years ago and a mosque was built in 1295 in Songjiang" change to "Islam entered Shanghai over 700 years ago when a mosque was built in 1295 in Songjiang"
  • What is a "teachers' college"? Explain or link
    • ☒N Deleted, cannot find any source Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "set up" change to "established"
  • "Shanghai has one of the largest proportions of Catholics in China (2003)" this needs updating
    • ☒N Deleted, I introduced the paragraph with the history of Catholicism in Shanghai instead. Akira CA (talk) 23:37, 27 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Combine this paragraph with the next
  • "During World War II" add comma and link
  • "flee Hitler's regime" change to "flee Nazi Germany"
  • "The Jews lived side-by-side" with whom? If it's just themselves, delete "side-by-side"
  • "called" change to "called the"
  • "vibrant" is this in the source? If not, delete
    • The archiving website is block here in Australia , could you please check it for me? Akira CA (talk) 08:09, 23 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Ohel Moishe Synagogue, which is a preserved remnant of this portion of Shanghai's complex religious past" delete link and change to "the Ohel Moishe Synagogue, which is now the Shanghai Jewish Refugees Museum" ("which is a preserved remnant of this portion of Shanghai's complex religious past" seems a little subjective, and "Shanghai-jews.com" might not be the best citation here, so I think we should delete this part)
  • Let's reorder this section's paragraphs in this order: Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, and folk religions
Language  Done
  • Add citations
  • "official language nationwide, which is Mandarin" change to "official Chinese language, Mandarin"
  • "itself completely mutually unintelligible with Wu Chinese" what does this mean? Clarify. Replace "itself" with "which is"
  • "Most Shanghai residents" change to "Most of the city's residents"
  • "The population of those regions speak different Wu Chinese dialects" change to "Those regions have different Wu Chinese dialects"
  • "From the 1990s" change to "Since the 1990s"
  • Serial comma
  • "the city of Shanghai" redundant
  • "(本地話)" seems to have a different font from the rest of the Chinese terms used in the article. Try to maintain consistency throughout the article
  • "after 1949 and before the 1990s" change to "between 1949 and the 1990s"
  • "On the other hand, however, Shanghainese started to decline and fluency amongst young speakers weakened" change to "At the same time, Shanghainese began to decline, and fluency among young speakers weakened"
  • "are being favoured and taught over the native language" change to "have been favored over Shanghainese"
  • "In recent years though, there have been movements within the city to protect and promote the local language from ever fading out" change to "However, in recent years, there have been movements within the city to protect and promote the local language from fading out"
Education  Done
  • Delete "with over 30 universities and colleges" (because literally the next sentence contradicts this)
  • Serial comma
  • Missing "and" in the list
  • "(these universities are selected as "985 universities" by the Chinese Government in order to build world-class universities)" delete parentheses, change "are" to "were", lowercase g, and split into a separate sentence
  • Split paragraph here
  • "In 2012" add comma
  • "Sino-US" change to "China–U.S."
  • "In 2013" add comma
  • "This new research university is aiming to be a first-class institution on a national and international level" this seems a little out of place. Shorten or delete
  • Add a sentence about the UM–SJTU Joint Institute somewhere in this paragraph
  • "The cadre school China Executive Leadership Academy in Pudong is also located in Shanghai, as well as the China Europe International Business School" change to "Shanghai is also home to the cadre school China Executive Leadership Academy in Pudong and the China Europe International Business School"
  • This section only talks about universities. Add content for primary and secondary schools.
Transportation  Done
Public transportation  Done
  • "based on" change to "comprising"
  • "Payment for all these public transportation tools can be made by using the Shanghai Public Transportation Card" combine with previous sentence and change to "... taxis, all of which can be accessed using a Shanghai Public Transportation Card"
  • Try to update year/citation/statistics
  • Serial comma
  • "it set a record of daily ridership of 13.3 million" first change the wording to be less awkward, like "it set a daily ridership record of 13.3 million"; clarify: what kind of record? Worldwide record, China record, Shanghai record, or internal record?
  • "The fare depends on the length of travel distance starting from CN¥3 (US$0.48)" change to "The fare starts from CN¥3 (US$0.48) and depends on the travel distance"; add citation
  • "Shanghai maglev train" add "the" before, and capitalize
  • "high-speed maglev" link maglev
  • "daily" unneeded; delete
  • "The train connects the 30 km journey between Longyang Road Station and Pudong International Airport in 7 minutes 20 seconds, comparing to 32 minutes by Metro Line 2 and 30 minutes by car" change to "The train can complete the 30-kilometer (19 mi) journey between Longyang Road Station and Pudong International Airport in 7 minutes 20 seconds, compared to 32 minutes by Metro Line 2 and 30 minutes by car" (note the template)
  • Delete "return"
  • "(US$12.80)" add comma after
  • "Shanghai reintroduced trams in 2010" needs context before this. When was it discontinued and why? When were they first introduced?
  • "this time as a modern rubber tyred Translohr system" change to "as a modern rubber-tire Translohr system" (link Translohr)
  • "Another regular tram network" doesn't seem necessary; delete
  • "under study" what does this mean? Being researched? Under planning? Under construction? Also needs a timeframe
  • "world's oldest continuously operating trolleybus system" we don't need to make this whole thing a link; shift to "trolleybus system"
  • "by 2017" try to update; also use {{As of}} template for this and later instances
  • "a combination of companies" change to "multiple companies"
  • "Bus fare normally costs" change to "Bus fares generally cost"
  • "Taxis are plentiful in Shanghai" kind of subjective (and pointless); delete
  • "By 2017, a total number of 46,400 vehicles were in operation" try to update, and change to "As of ..., a total of 46,400 taxis were in operation in Shanghai"
  • "Taxis base fare" change to "The base fare for taxis is"
  • "(US$2.24) (including a CN¥1 fuel surcharge; CN¥18 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am) which covers the first 3 km (2 mi)" change to "(US$2.24), which covers the first 3 km (2 mi) and includes a CN¥1 fuel surcharge. The base fare is CN¥18 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am." (also add US$ conversions in parentheses)
  • "Additional km cost CN¥2.5 (US$0.40) each (CN¥3.3 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am)" change to "Each additional kilometer costs CN¥2.5 (US$0.40), or CN¥3.3 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am" (also add US$ conversion in parentheses)
  • "Ride share giants like DiDi and Uber are playing major roles in urban tranportation besides the traditional taxi system" change to "In addition to traditional taxis, ridesharing companies including DiDi and Uber play major roles in urban transportation"; directly link "ridesharing companies"
  • Expand a bit and try to find statistics (i.e. how many people use ridesharing apps annually?)
  • "Cost of shared rides are comparable to that of taxis and sometimes even lower due to subsidies from the companies" change to "Ridesharing costs are comparable to those of taxis, and are sometimes even lower due to subsidies from the companies"
  • "due to subsidies from the companies" elaborate
  • There are too many images here. Delete the image of the yellow tram and move the bus one to the right
Roads and expressways  Done
  • "(prefixed with G) pass through or terminate in Shanghai" change to "(prefixed with the letter G) pass through or end in Shanghai"
  • Delete all the symbols/images of the highways. Unnecessary
  • Two instances of "overlapping": change to "overlaps with"
  • "In addition, ... also" redundant
  • "prefixed with S (S1, S2, S20, etc.)." change to "prefixed with the letter S"; delete everything in the parentheses
  • "has a total" add "of"
  • "across" change to "crossing"
  • "Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge" change to "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge" (with direct link)
  • "to the north of the city" unnecessary; delete
  • Delete symbols; add serial commas

I have some free time, so I'll continue the review below. Bobbychan193 (talk) 04:10, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  • "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge is the only bridge–tunnel complex across Yangtze River in Shanghai" change to "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge is the city's only bridge–tunnel complex across the Yangtze River"
  • Serial comma
  • "Inner Ring Road, which is followed by ..." what does this mean? Clarify
  • "commonplace" change to "common"
  • "In recent years" add comma
  • "thanks to" change to "due to"
  • "such as" add comma before
  • Image caption: "Bicycle-sharing systems, such as ofo and Mobike (both pictured), are common in Shanghai." perhaps we could change this to "Bicycle-sharing systems, such as ofo (yellow) and Mobike (orange), are common in Shanghai." What do you think?
  • "buys a license in the monthly private car license plate auction" change to "buys a license plate in a private car license plate auction, which are held monthly"
  • "each month" add comma after
  • "the municipal regulation" is this saying "city regulations"? If so, just change it to that
  • "Shanghai registered" add hyphen in between
  • "individual incomer tax" is this supposed to say "individual income taxes"?
  • "for over 3 years in a row" is it 3 years or more than 3 years? If the latter, change to "for at least three years in a row". Either way, spell out "3" as "three" per MOS:NUMERAL
  • "to alleviate congestion" delete "to"
  • The last paragraph needs more citations. There is only one citation and it doesn't really back up any of the claims in the paragraph. Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:27, 17 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "According to city regulations in 2016, only those who are Shanghai-registered residents or have paid social insurance or individual income taxes for over three years in a row" This is a sentence fragment. "Only those who are ..." what? "Only those ..." are eligible? Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:27, 17 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Railway  Done
  • Change subsection heading to "Railways"
  • "The earliest railway in Shanghai was the Woosung railway built in 1876, which was also the earliest railway in operation in China" change to "Built in 1876, the Woosung railway was the first railway in Shanghai and the first railway in operation in China"
  • "had been" change to "were"
  • "Today, the two railways has been integrated into Beijing–Shanghai railway and Shanghai–Kunming railway, respectively, forming two main railways in China" change to "[As of xyz (use template)], the two railways have been integrated into two main Chinese railways: Beijing–Shanghai railway and Shanghai–Kunming railway, respectively" (also, "main Chinese railways" might be problematic; reword if possible)
  • "high-speed railways" add "(HSRs)" after
  • "overlapping" change to "overlaps with"
  • "with two high-speed rail lines" split this sentence from the previous. Say: "Two high-speed railways are under construction: ..."
  • "China Railway" add comma after
  • "Line 16" redo piped link (avoid piped redirect)
  • "Three more lines: Chongming line, Jiamin line and Shanghai Airport Link [zh] are in construction" change to "Three additional lines—Chongming line, Jiamin line, and Shanghai Airport Link [zh]—are under construction"
  • For all railways that are under construction, double check to see if they are indeed still under construction, and make changes if necessary. Then, insert {{as of}} templates. I.e. "Three additional lines—Chongming line, Jiamin line, and Shanghai Airport Link [zh]—are under construction as of November 2019"
Air and sea  Done
  • The two sections are both a bit short, so combine the two subheadings to say "Air and sea". You can keep or delete the "See also" template
  • "Shanghai is one of the leading air transportation gateways in Asia" sounds a little awkward; try to rephrase. Maybe "Shanghai is one of the largest air transportation hubs in Asia" also add a citation
  • "main international airport" change "main" to "primary"
  • "Hongqiao Airport" change to "Hongqiao International Airport"
  • "In 2018" add comma
  • "ninth busiest airports by passengers and third busiest by cargoes" change to "ninth-busiest airport by passenger volume and third-busiest airport by cargo volume"
  • "Hongqiao Airport served 43.6 million passengers, making it the nineteenth busiest airports by passengers" change to "The same year, Hongqiao International Airport served 43.6 million passengers, making it the 19th-busiest airport by passenger volume"
  • "The Port of Shanghai has grown rapidly to the largest port in China since it opened" change to "Since its opening, the Port of Shanghai has rapidly grown to become the largest port in China"
  • "Wharves are clusttered along the Huangpu River at first" what does this mean? Also fix typo ("clustered")
  • "Yangshan Port is built in 2005 because the river is not suitable for docking large container ships" change to "was built" and "was unsuitable"
  • "with the continent" what? Rephrase
  • "32km-long" use {{convert}} to produce "32-kilometer (xyz-mile) long" (beware of hyphen and American spelling)
  • "Although the port is run by Shanghai International Port Group under Shanghai government, it administratively belongs to Shengsi County, Zhejiang" change to "Although the port is run by the Shanghai International Port Group under the government of Shanghai, it administratively belongs to Shengsi County, Zhejiang"
  • "Singapore" spell out "Port of Singapore" (and make sure it doesn't pipe link to itself)
  • "42,010,000" change to "42 million"
  • "Besides cargoes, the Port of Shanghai handled 406 cruises and 2.75 millions of passengers in 2018" change to "Besides cargo, the Port of Shanghai handled 406 cruises and 2.75 million passengers in 2018"
  • Image caption: unlink "container"
Culture  Done
  • So before I begin reviewing this section, try to trim it down a bit. It's currently around 2300–2400 words, which is almost 25% of the entire article (around 9600 words). My suggestion: try to get it under 2000 words, or ideally under 1800 words, and we'll go from there. If you want to preserve some of the less important details and/or interesting facts, you can move them to other articles that might be more relevant or more focused on them. I noticed that there's no article for Culture in Shanghai; perhaps you can make one. Also, Haipai seems to be closely related to this as well, so maybe use that as a base for moving stuff. I know next to nothing about Haipai, so this is your call to make.
    •  Done
  • So, this section is around 1400 words now. (Well done!) I'm concerned about its readability given its length. Perhaps a few (like 3 or 4) subheadings would help. Reorder paragraphs if necessary.
  • "The culture of Shanghai was a combination" Something about the past tense makes this read awkwardly. Change to something like "The culture of Shanghai was formed by a combination" or "The culture of Shanghai is considered to be a combination"
  • "Examples of the Wuyue culture's influence includes Shanghainese language developed from the nearby Jiaxing, Suzhou, and Ningbo dialect, and Shanghai cuisine influenced by the Jiangsu cuisine and Zhejiang cuisine." Too lengthy. Trim to: "Wuyue culture's influence is manifested in Shanghainese—which comprises elements of dialects from nearby Jiaxing, Suzhou, and Ningbo—and Shanghai cuisine, which was influenced by Jiangsu cuisine and Zhejiang cuisine."
  • "western cultures" change to "Western culture"
  • "and even food and beverages" change to "and cuisine"
  • "western" capitalize
  • "In recent years" vague and problematic wording. Change to something like "in the early 21st century"
  • "most recently released city development plans" same thing as above. Specify the time to reduce ambiguity
  • "with aims in making" change to "which aim to make"
  • Try to change/cut down on puffery words in this paragraph: "importance", "best", "major", etc.
  • "Power Station of Art" add "The" before
  • "there is a variety of smaller" change to "there are numerous smaller"
  • "There are also many art galleries, concentrated in the M50 Art District and Tianzifang" change to "The city has many art galleries, many of which are located in the M50 Art District and Tianzifang"
  • This paragraph needs more citations, especially for the latter half.
  • "MoCA, Museum of Contemporary Art of Shanghai, is a private museum centrally located in People's Park on West Nanjing Road, and is committed to promote contemporary art and design." I would probably delete this sentence. MoCA does not have its own article, which leads me to believe that it does not meet Wikipedia's notability criteria. As such, it is probably not notable enough to include in this article. (Feel free to create an article if I am mistaken.)
  • "cooking style originated 400 years ago under profound influence of those of the surrounding provinces" change to "cooking style that originated in the 1600s, with influences from surrounding provinces"
  • Change to American spelling: "emphasises" and "flavours"
  • "and meanwhile" change to "while"
  • "raw ingredients materials" delete "materials"
  • "Another characteristic is the use of a great variety of seafood and freshwater food" change to something less redundant and more informative, such as: "Benbang cuisine often uses a variety of seafood, including freshwater fish, crabs, and lobsters" (and try to find a source for this)
    •  Done, both cuisine use these so I moved the sentence to the end of the paragraph. -- Akira😼CA 23:49, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Haipai cuisine, on the other hand, is a Western-style cooking originated in Shanghai but absorbs elements from French, British, Russian, German, and Italian cuisine and adapts them to suit the local taste according to the features of local ingredients" too long. Split into two sentences: "Haipai cuisine, on the other hand, is a Western-influenced cooking style that originated in Shanghai. It absorbed elements from French, British, Russian, German, and Italian cuisines and adapted them to suit the local taste according to the features of local ingredients"
  • "during the Ming and the Qing Dynasty" change to "during the Ming and Qing Dynasties"
  • "The school was considered as a further development" awkward wording. Change to something like: "The school was considered an expansion"
  • "the painting" delete "the"
  • "western" capitalize
  • At least two missing serial commas
  • "settled in Shanghai thus it gradually became the art center of China" change to "settled in Shanghai, allowing it to gradually become the art center of China"
  • "photography" change to "including photography"
  • "Sanmao, one of the most well-known comics in China, was created then to dramatize the chaos brought to society by the Second Sino-Japanese War" this sentence is a bit confusing, as well as wordy. Was the comic well known at the time? Is it well known in the present day as a historical thing? Or have a lot of people today actually read it? Or a combination? Either clarify, or delete it entirely, i.e.: "Sanmao was created to dramatize the chaos created by the Second Sino-Japanese War"
    •  Done deleted -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chinese painting academy" is this a proper noun? Capitalize if so.
  • "the Guohua" change to "traditional Chinese painting"
  • "plays an important role in the contemporary art" again with the puffery. Change to something like: "displays contemporary art"
  • "has now become" delete "now"
  • "Traditional Xiqu" change to "Traditional Chinese opera (Xiqu)"
  • "the main way of entertainment" weird phrasing. Change to something like "a popular source of entertainment"
  • "appeared in Shanghai" delete "in Shanghai"
  • "The Great World opened in 1912 is a significant stage at the time" change to "The Great World opened in 1912 and was a significant stage at the time"
  • "In 1920s" add "the"
  • "With the abundant commercial radio stations, Pingtan art developed rapidly to 103 programs every day by the 1930s" confusing sentence; clarify
  • "At the same time, Shanghai also formed a Shanghai-style Beijing Opera led by Zhou Xinfang and Gai Jiaotian [zh], and attracted many Xiqu masters like Mei Lanfang to the city" change to "Around the same time, a Shanghai-style Beijing Opera was formed. Led by Zhou Xinfang and Gai Jiaotian [zh], it attracted many Xiqu masters, like Mei Lanfang, to the city"
  • "At the same time, a small troupe" delete "At the same time"
  • "is formed when the local folksongs collided with modern operas" change to "was formed when local folksongs were fused with modern operas"
  • "the well-known" change to "prominent"
  • Missing serial comma
  • "Back then" change to "At the time"
  • "earliest recorded" hyphenate
  • "had become" change to "became"
  • "Shanghai Conservatory of Music, Shanghai Dramatic Arts Centre, Shanghai Opera House and Shanghai Theatre Academy are four major institutes of theater training in Shanghai" change to "The city has several major institutes of theater training, including the Shanghai Conservatory of Music, the Shanghai Dramatic Arts Centre, the Shanghai Opera House, and the Shanghai Theatre Academy"
  • Another missing serial comma
  • "went on to blossom" change to "grew"
  • "great" delete
  • "native Shanghainese" change to "Shanghai native"
  • "The April session is a part of the Shanghai International Fashion Culture Festival, which usually lasts for a month, while Shanghai Fashion Week lasts for seven days, and the main venue is in Fuxing Park, Shanghai, while the opening and closing ceremony is in Shanghai Fashion Center" too long. Split into two or three sentences
  • "Supported by the People's Republic Ministry of Commerce, Shanghai Fashion Week is a major business and culture event of national significance hosted by the Shanghai Municipal Government" wordy; try to trim
  • "culture event" change to "cultural event"
  • "Shanghai Fashion Week is aiming to build up an international and professional platform, gathering all of the top design talents of Asia. The event features international designers but the primary purpose is to showcase Chinese designers" reads a little bit like an advertisement. Also try to trim (undue weight concerns, etc.)
Environment  Done
Parks and resorts  Done
  • First sentence: reword to make it seem more neutral and less like original research
  • "By 2017, the city had 248 parks with a total area of 19,805 hectares" use {{convert}} (recommend using km2 and acres); try to update stats
  • "offering a green public space to locals" sounds weird; try to reword
  • "became" change to "have become"
  • Serial comma
  • The second paragraph needs more citations, especially for claims such as "tallest statue"
  • "The former racetrack turned central park" don't think this level of detail is necessary; delete
  • "high end" hyphenate
  • "Built in 1914 as Jessfield Park" is this referring to Zhongshan Park? If so, split the long paragraph after "metro system"
  • "important transfer station" what does "important" mean? It sounds subjective, so I would either find a source and clarify, or just delete it
  • "newest" change to "newer"
  • "is in the Xujiahui—Xujiahui Park [zh]—built in 1999" really confusing to read; change to "is the Xujiahui Park [zh], which was built in 1999"
  • "offering a pleasant respite for Xujiahui shoppers" source or delete
    • ☒N Deleted
  • "another yet the biggest botanical garden" just change to "the largest botanical garden"
  • "well-known" change to "notable"
  • Last paragraph: try to find and add some visitor statistics, i.e. "An average of XYZ people visited per month in 2019" or something (if you've ever been there, you know there's a crapton of people who visit)
    •  Done

Some additional follow-up comments:

  • "There is an extensive public park system in Shanghai which offers green space for locals. By 2018, the city had 300 parks and 281 among them were free to visit." shorten this to "Shanghai has an extensive public park system; by 2018, the city had 300 parks, of which 281 had free admission." (also update stat if possible)
  • "The per capita park area has reached 8.2 m2 (88 sq ft) square meters" first of all, "m2" and "square meters" are redundant. Also, it's unclear when this statistic was released and what the per-capita unit is (i.e. per person? Per 1000 people?). Change to something like "In 2019, Shanghai's per-capita park area was 8.2 m2 (88 sq ft) per person"
    •  Done for the first part. The statistics was in 2018. "per person" seems to be implied in "per capita"[1] so it might be redundant to include. Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "today, it is known for its 150-year-old platanus, extensive sakura and peony gardens, and as an interchange hub in the metro system" this sentence reads a bit awkwardly. Change to something like "the park features sakura and peony gardens and a 150-year-old platanus, and it also serves as an interchange hub in the metro system"
  • "One of the newer parks" change to "One of Shanghai's newer parks"
  • "2009," delete comma
  • "in the first year of its operation" change to "in its first year of operation"
Environmental protection / Air pollution  Done
  • "city-center" I don't think a hyphen here is needed. Correct me if I am wrong.
  • "has been removed" change to "were removed"
  • "From 1 July 2019, Shanghai adopt a new garbage classification which sorts out waste into residual waste, kitchen waste, recyclable waste, and hazardous waste" change to "On 1 July 2019, Shanghai adopted a new garbage-classification system that sorts out waste into residual waste, kitchen waste, recyclable waste, and hazardous waste"
  • "The wastes will then be collected by different vehicles" change to "The wastes are collected by separate vehicles"
  • "hazardous waste disposal facilities separately" change to "hazardous-waste-disposal facilities, respectively"
  • For this section, add {{Main}} or {{See also}} template and link to the Pollution in China article
  • "Chinese cities" not sure why this is linked. Delete link
  • "but still substantial by world standards" change to "but is still considered substantial by world standards"
  • "a mass of construction work" change to "much construction work"
  • "Most of inbound flights" change to "Most inbound flights"
  • "more than 50 flights were diverted at Pudong International Airport" I assume this means that the flights were at or heading to Pudong but diverted? If so, change to "more than 50 flights at Pudong International Airport were diverted"
  • "Yang Xiong, the mayor of Shanghai municipality announced" change to "Yang Xiong, the mayor of Shanghai, announced"
  • Missing serial comma
  • "The measures involved delivery of the 2013 air cleaning program, linkage mechanism with the three surrounding provinces and improvement of the ability of early warning of emergency situation" awkward wording; change to "The measures involved implementing the 2013 air-cleaning program, establishing a linkage mechanism with the three surrounding provinces, and improving the city's early-warning systems"
  • "to help companies to meet new" change to "to help companies meet the new"
  • "The effect of the policy is significant" change "is" to "was"
  • "has decreased" delete "has"
Media / International relations  Done
  • This quote is interesting, but I'm confused why it's the first and only sentence in the entire section. There should at least be one or two sentences talking broadly about media in Shanghai that go before this.
  • "Newspapers publishing in Shanghai" add an {{as of}} template before this. A simple year or year + month would be fine.
  • There's one redlink and several no-link entries. First try to find if any of them have corresponding articles on the Chinese Wikipedia, and link them using the template. Then, for consistency, just make everything else either redlinked or not linked.
  • "Broadcasters:" since there's only one item in this list, just change it to "The city's main broadcaster is Shanghai Media Group."
  • For this section, feel free to expand the first paragraph a little bit. There has to be more to Shanghai's international relations than the SCO and a list of twin cities.
  • "Shanghai is twinned with:" change to "Shanghai is twinned with the following cities:"
 Done - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 00:38, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm going to assume every entry has a corresponding citation, but feel free to double-check if you have free time.
 Done, updated Akira CA (talk) 09:59, 8 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there a reason why all the city names are bolded? If not, I would remove all bold font in this section. (See MOS:BOLD)
 Done - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 00:34, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Citations[edit]

  • Copyright violation status: seems mostly OK.
  • A lot of the citations need updating.
  • Some citations are dead, which is fine if they have archived versions, but ideally, they should be replaced with live citations.
  • {{cite web |url = http://www.zyen.com/PDF/LCGFC.pdf |title = The Competitive Position of London as a Global Financial Centre |access-date = 25 February 2011 |archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20131110224826/http://www.zyen.com/PDF/LCGFC.pdf |archive-date = 10 November 2013 |url-status=dead |df = dmy-all}} This source is dead, kind of old, and most importantly, does not reflect the statement it was citing. It says Shanghai is "likely" to become a global financial center.
    • Aha, you changed it before I found the same source as yours. Akira CA (talk) 11:57, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any citations that are PDFs, books, or otherwise long documents should have specific page numbers in the citations because this makes it easier for readers and other editors to verify claims. I.e. fill out the |page= or |pages= parameter
  • This source seems rather useful for expanding the economy section. We should talk about the Port of Shanghai somewhere in the Economy section.
    • Thanks for the source!  Done for mentioning the port. Akira CA (talk)

Discussion[edit]

  • @Akira CA: I've begun reviewing the article. Since it's quite long, we can both take our time reviewing and improving the article, respectively. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:15, 25 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Bobbychan193: Got it. I've just fixed the dmy and the AM English issues, please let me know if I missed anything. Akira CA (talk) 08:40, 26 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • @Akira CA: Glad to see you're still active. I'll continue the review sometime later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, can you try to address the citations in the lead? Also, try to use the {{done}} template under each feedback bulletpoint to let me know your status. Bobbychan193 (talk) 16:01, 26 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can you briefly explain what you did in this edit? In the future, try to have edit summaries to tell other editors what you changed. Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:14, 27 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • Oof, sorry for that. I moved some citations from the lead to the body, and deleted overly detailed information (since it's the lead). Akira CA (talk) 11:05, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ideally, every single claim in the article should be cited (with at least one reliable source), but for the purposes of this GAN, I'd be happy to pass this article if I feel that it's most of the way there. (I.e. most things are cited, and you address all of my comments to make improvements to the prose.) So, don't stress out too much about this. (If you're planning to take this to FAC in the future, which I highly encourage you to do, then it will be a lot more important.) Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:21, 30 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: I've finished reviewing several large sections that might take you a few days to work through. Just {{ping}} me when you're done or almost done with everything, and I'll continue reviewing. Also, given the length of the article, I probably won't be doing a second review or a detailed review of your changes. I trust your editing. As always, let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 03:07, 30 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Bobbychan193: Thanks for the hard works! I'm busy these days, but will inform you when I'm done with all these suggestions. Akira CA (talk) 05:58, 1 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: Could you please tell me the difference between the {{Further}} template and the {{See also}} one? I saw both of them being used in the article. Akira CA (talk) 14:46, 1 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Akira CA: From my understanding, {{further}} is for any article(s) providing further information on a topic. {{See also}} is for linking any article(s) related to (but not necessarily expanding upon) a topic. See the two template pages I linked for more information. Bobbychan193 (talk) 16:31, 1 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Since I have some free time right now (and probably won't have much free time again until next Wednesday), I'll be continuing the review. Great work so far; keep it up. Bobbychan193 (talk) 02:41, 6 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: I've simplified the wiki-syntax for the notes. Use the template I used going forward. See WP:EXPLNOTE and {{efn}} for more information. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:12, 7 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @The Account 1: Hey, I've noticed that you've made some improvements to the article. Any help is definitely appreciated. Are you an alt-account of Akira CA? Bobbychan193 (talk) 18:10, 19 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Bobbychan193: I'm not. I just saw this article is currently nominated for Good Article status so I decided that I can help in this process. The Account 1 (talk) 18:12, 19 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: Just a reminder that there's one last unresolved suggestion in the Religion subsection. I'm going to be busy for the next two or three days, but I'll try to resume the review sometime next week. If you want to get a head start in copy editing, adding citations, and refining the prose in the unreviewed sections, go for it :) Bobbychan193 (talk) 20:32, 27 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    •  Resolved, thanks for the work done so far :D Akira CA (talk) 06:30, 28 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Josephua: Hey, I saw you made some improvements to the article; it's much appreciated. If you have time, feel free to go through this GA review and the article's history to get a feel for the kinds of improvements that have already been made. You'll notice that there are certain recurring things, like American spelling, serial commas, and {{as of}} and {{convert}} templates. Consistency throughout the article is key. Let me know if you have any questions. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Bobbychan193: I can take care of the grammar errors in the article. I was hoping when this article passes GA status, that it could be a base model for Shenzhen, which I am working on currently. - Josephua (talk) 05:17, 1 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: The source [187] for "The system is operated by multiple companies" under public transportation is a permanent dead link. - Josephua (talk) 19:23, 1 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: There is a citation needed template in the lead of the Culture section, which can be off-putting for GA reviewers. - Josephua (聊天) 17:58, 4 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Josephua: Thank you. I've already noticed that, but haven't found any useful sources yet. Since I'm busy these days I'll deal with it in the next couple of weeks :) Akira CA (talk) 03:04, 5 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Take your time. There are several unresolved comments as well, and I'll resume the review once you finish them. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:48, 6 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: So I've just finished another round of comments; take your time. Seeing as this review has been continuing for almost two months now, I'll try to wrap things up. I'll be mostly focusing on the prose/MOS, as well as big, glaring issues like neutrality or original research. Everything else will be eventually be caught at the FAC level anyway. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 04:59, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA and Bobbychan193: I'm putting "not done" templates to help you guys identify which comments are not done. It makes it easier for these comments to be assessed. If these comments are re-assessed, feel free to change it to the "done" template and end it with your signature. ;) - 祝好，Josephua (聊天) 22:23, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: Since the review has not been touched for a month already, I think it is time to start reviewing the Shanghai Culture section the way that it is right now. The review has been going on a bit too long already without a response. - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 16:06, 14 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • I'm currently pretty busy with IRL stuff; will continue the review when I get a chance. @Akira CA: Do you have time to work on the Culture section? Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:30, 14 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • OK. You can skip to the last few sections (Environment, Media, etc) while I'm working on it. Akira CA (talk) 05:45, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @The Account 1: If you have time, can you do the parks and resorts section? Thanks. - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 21:28, 31 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: Parks and resorts are done, courtesy of @The Account 1:. Can you start 'Environmental protection' and 'Media / International relations?' I think it would be better if you reviewed both sections instead of one at a time. Thanks. - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 21:24, 2 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: Reminding you 'environmental protection' is done, courtesy of @Akira CA:, so you can start 'Media / International relations' when you have time. - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 04:30, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Bobbychan193: Hi! I think we can finally set a start on the culture section, sorry for having kept you waiting so long. Akira CA (talk) 09:27, 8 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Akira CA: I've found a bit more free time recently; excited to resume the review and finally get this article passed. However, it's going to take me a few days to go through all the edits people have made in the past few months. Bobbychan193 (talk) 14:35, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Bobbychan193: Glad to hear that. I'm still on so if you have free time just review it. I'll follow your comments when I'm free :D -- Akira😼CA 03:56, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      • Hey, just a little bit of an update: free time is scarce once again, and I'll try to resume the review when I'm less busy. Bobbychan193 (talk) 18:27, 13 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        • @Bobbychan193: Sure, take your time! If you have free time, just review it don't wait for me, since our free time may not match :D I will catch up when I'm free. -- Akira😼CA 05:41, 20 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Nothing added for over five months[edit]

Bobbychan193, Akira_CA, this review has not been added to for over five months, and has been open for over ten. That's far too long. I can understand that this is a difficult time, but there are other reviewers out there who could take over, since it's clear that Bobbychan193 simply cannot continue the review. It's past time to start this moving forward again. Thank you. BlueMoonset (talk) 14:44, 26 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'm definitely open to someone else taking over the review. If I recall correctly, there's only one section left to review. Bobbychan193 (talk) 08:31, 27 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
What is that one section? I would want a chance to review that section. -iaspostb□x+ 12:18, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, I just thought it was "Sports" all along! Silly me who gets confused. -iaspostb□x+ 12:20, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
There's a couple unsourced paragraphs in the Sports section, I'll try to find the necessary references. -iaspostb□x+ 12:21, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I found all the references I needed for the section. -iaspostb□x+ 12:45, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Now it's all there and done, so I am now passing this article. -iaspostb□x+ 12:48, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@I'm Aya Syameimaru!: It was actually the entire Culture section. It's fine that you went ahead and passed it—the article was 95% of the way there anyway—but try to review/improve that section if you have time. Bobbychan193 (talk) 17:35, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I'm very sorry, but a 25 minute review is simply not adequate under the circumstances, especially of such a large article. The new reviewer is responsible for the totality of the article as it is now—I can't believe that there was time to read the whole thing, much less consider the entire article against the GA criteria. (For example, the opening does not meet MOS:LEADLENGTH at five paragraphs, and MOS:LEAD is one part of the manual of style that is required in the GA criteria.) I have reverted the approval, and while I appreciate I'm Aya Syameimaru!|'s enthusiasm, under the circumstances, I wonder if a more experienced reviewer would be a better choice here given the length and complexity of the review. We need to get to 100% of the GA criteria, not a less than that. BlueMoonset (talk) 19:43, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@BlueMoonset: Thanks for pointing out the lead. A few days ago I looked through all of the article's changes in the past several months to make sure there weren't any dramatic changes that would require a re-review, and that was the one thing I missed. Fixing now. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:40, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Actually, I'll resume the review now and hopefully wrap it up by today. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:47, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@BlueMoonset and Akira CA: I've finished the review. Please {{Ping}} me if I've missed any sections, or if anything else needs to be done. Thanks. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:53, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Bobbychan193: I've finished following the comments. Thank you so much for your efforts and patience throughout :D @BlueMoonset: If anything else needs to be done please let us know. -- Akira😼CA 03:32, 6 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Akira_CA, I don't know of anything else that needs to be done review-wise; right now it's up to Bobbychan193 to decide whether the article meets the GA criteria or if more work is needed on any of the points raised so far (or something new that needs doing catches the eye). BlueMoonset (talk) 04:19, 6 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@BlueMoonset and Akira CA: Thank you both for bearing with me. I'm happy to pass the article now; congratulations Akira, and great work. I hope to see the article nominated for FAC at some point in the future. Bobbychan193 (talk) 08:46, 7 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
  1. ^ "Per capita | Define Per capita at Dictionary.com". Dictionary.reference.com. Retrieved 4 Feb 2020.
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