Talk:Jennifer Lopez: Feelin' So Good/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk · contribs) 08:51, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
- but also her mother -> their
- Who is Medina? I know, but does a reader?
- the music world -> think scene is better
- a biopic of the late American singer-songwriter Selena -> of the same name is probably more appropriate
- Any source that she was a songwriter? I checked some of her albums and she doesn't have any songwriting credits
- The role inspired her to launch a music career, which critics cited as being risky, noting that if she was unsuccessful in doing so, it would be an embarrassment and it could even damage her career. -> a little run-on. Try shortening or re-phrasing. Also, in all seriousness, did she even have a career before the movie? So I mean pursuing a career in music was risky on ruining her career of one movie?
- Done I've re-worded it slightly. Let me know how it looks now. Well, she had a few films before that Money Train, Jack and Blood and Wine. I also what they meant was that launching a music career so early in just getting her big break in acting was risky. Statυs (talk) 01:25, 20 November 2012 (UTC)
- Lopez was aware of the fact that she received her recording contract on the premise of having an already established name in the entertainment industry, -> can do much better
- The surprising success of her debut single "If You Had My Love" and On the 6 -> The success of [ ] came as a surprise to [ ]
- The surprising success of her debut single "If You Had My Love" and On the 6 made the "popular actor even more popular", with both the music industry and the public becoming intrigued by "this woman who seemed to have so many different talents".[2] -> Very run-on, confusing, border-line NPOV etc.
- Can you explain to me exactly what the purpose of the lead's second paragraph is?
- Try to get someone to copy-edit this article for you. Speaking from experience, when you delve too much in the topic of one artist, you really don't realize pretty obvious mistakes. I've watch-listed this page. Good luck!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:10, 20 November 2012 (UTC)
Continuing (Sorry for the delay :)) "I just want to comment; some of what I post may be opinionated. Don't get upset, if you disagree just tell me :)"
- With a runtime -> running time
- critics deemed this as a risk -> critics deemed it risky
- and it could damage her career -> I don't think we need it
- Maybe give us the year for On the 6 in parenthesis
- was to prove that she had musical talent -> was to prove she had musical talent
- It was additionally praised for showing Lopez's -> Since we just used Lopez in the last sentence, maybe switch this for the singer of her
- You did a great job cleaning up the lead. Much better this time!
Background
- to put on performances at home -> stage
- I find that you repeat Lopez often
- when she decided to pursue an acting career -> a career in acting
- Lopez received her big break came in 1996 -> fix
- Again we have Selena as a singer-songwriter :P
- In the film, Selena's real voice is used for the musical sequences in Selena, -> In the film, Selena's real voice was used for the musical sequences,
- When asked by an interview -> in
- After filming Selena, Lopez -> Selena
- studio album On the 6. During production of the On the 6 -> studio album On the 6. During production of the album
Synopsis
- her hectic schedule in the beginning of 1999 -> at
- concept behind the music video of "If You Had My Love". -> for
- Marc Anthony over-link
- appropriately entitled -> titled
- the moment when she found out that "If You Had My Love" went number one in the United States -> I don't think when is needed here
- She then went on to discuss -> Rmv then
- is an interview with Lopez's mother discussing what was like to see Lopez on television for the first time. -> is an interview with Lopez's mother, discussing what was like to see Lopez on television for the first time.
- Lopez, Lopez, discussing, discusses
- Lopez then discusses her surprise to the amount of fans -> There is something awkward about "discusses her surprise"
- "Baila" is shown, for the very first time. -> Can't we just say debuted?
Release
- I know it's tough, but try and substitute "release" with other words.
- golden hue image also taken during the photoshoot of On the 6. -> taken during the same photoshoot
- Beierle compared Jennifer Lopez: Feelin' So Good to the video releases of Mariah Carey. -> I wonder why. Because that asshole Mottola tried to make her a carbon copy :P
- the video albums contains -> album
- followed by her VH1 Fashion Awards performance of the Darkchild remix of "If You Had My Love". -> of the same song
Sources
- Why is Allmusic linked in ref 5 and not in #1?
- Ref 2 seems to be incomplete
- What makes #4 reliable?
- Why is Nielsen linked in 14 and not in 11 or 13? (or shall I say 11)
- Why isn't #19 Amazon not linked and the others are?
- Why isn't BBC News linked?
- Overall very much improved Status. Really well done :) Get to it so we can promote it :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:36, 10 December 2012 (UTC)
- I think everything has been fixed, except a few things, which I will point out here. Let me know if I miss anything else. As for the "release" title, I have no idea what to use man! Help me out! What's incomplete about ref 2? As for ref 4, it's also used in a reference for a published biography about her, so I would say it is quite reliable. The website has also been discussed by the media. Thank you for your great review of the article! Statυs (talk) 02:22, 10 December 2012 (UTC)
- Don't worry about it. You could try "distributed". It depends on how it sounds to you. I just fixed a typo, I think we are all good here! Thanks very much, it was a pleasure :) Great work!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 02:30, 10 December 2012 (UTC)