The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that civilian-operated drones twice forced aerial firefighting operations on the Goodwin Fire(pictured) to stop?
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Mayer and Breezy Pines, Arizona, too many commas in this sentence, and also no need to say Breezy Pines is in Arizona, its redundant. I suggest instead saying "the nearby settlements of Mayer and Breezy Pines".
Rather than spaced endashes, I suggest unspaced emdashes. While spaced endashes is technically allowed, in my style guide experience, unspaced emdashes is more correct.
The operator was charged with endangering firefighters and their equipment on July 7 Makes it sound like the crime happened on the 7th. Instead, I'd order the sentence as "On July 7, the operator..." or "The operator was charged on July 7..."
Changed to "charged on July 7". –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I understand being meticulous with citations, but as a general matter unless something is controversial I try not to put citations in the middle of sentences. Nothing here seems that controversial, so I think all citations can get ported to the end of sentences.
This feels incorrect to me, like putting words in a source's mouth, and thus I am meticulous like this. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
per cent British English looks decidedly out of place in an article about Arizona :P
total foliage mortality Wonder if there isn't a Wikilink that could lead to...? Its a technical term that may not be accessible to the average reader.
No page to link to, unfortunately, but also not much room for confusion. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Further flooding exacerbated by the burn scar was expected in 2018 and in 2022 I don't get this sentence. Was expected? But those dates have already passed. So either the flooding happened, or it didn't. I guess I'm not getting the meaning you intend here?
Axed. 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
"Goodwin Fire Latest: Now 43 Percent Contained; Highway 69 Reopens Frida" ...missing a y in Friday
To get this to FA, you'll want to get access to the Daily Courier, the local paper. I will try to get ahold of access for you. If I forget, remind me in a few weeks.
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