Talk:Fresh Blood (Supernatural)

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Featured articleFresh Blood (Supernatural) is a featured article; it (or a previous version of it) has been identified as one of the best articles produced by the Wikipedia community. Even so, if you can update or improve it, please do so.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
June 16, 2010Featured article candidatePromoted

Mini review[edit]

"who is turned into a vampire." - is? has?

Done. Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"and was also busy filming for the television series Reaper during the episode's production." - "for" probably not needed.

Done. Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"as well as the twist in the character's storyline. " - What twist?

That he himself is turned into a vampire. Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"resulting brotherly scene" - Maybe "reconciliation"?

as in "resulting brotherly reconciliation"? Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"many found the presence of Bela Talbot" - Mabye "many found the presence of recurring character Bela Talbot"

Done. Ωphois 20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink hunter?

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The sentence that begins "Hunter and recently-escaped" should be broken up into two or three smaller sentences.

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"However, Gordon and Kubrick interrupt the fight" - Who is Kubrick?

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"two young women whom are in the process of being turned into vampires." - "in the process" not needed.

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Elsewhere, Gordon returns Kubrick." - What does that mean? (Don't tell me here, make sure the article explains, maybe I missed it)

Typo. Fixed it. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Dean decides to go after Gordon himself" - "himself" not needed.

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Sam calls him out on it." " drop the act" - Too informal.

Do you have any suggestions? Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The two then prepare to wait out the night." - Maybe "wait until morning"?

I think the original sounds better. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"However, Gordon later calls the Sam and Dean" - "However" isn't a good way to start a paragraph. "the" not needed.

Done. Ωphois 19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for now. I would say that's some of the best prose I've seen you do. Also, is the Plot too long? I forget the quideline recommended size, but it seems a bit too detailed. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 01:46, 25 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I took a look at some other FA television articles, and this is just a tad bit longer, so I think it should be fine. Ωphois 19:33, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"vampire was "horrific" for him." - "to him" I think.

There are a lot "however"s. You might mix it up a bit more.[1]

"John Marcynuk mainly used green tones and a cool" - "mainly" is a bit informal.

" and the design has been subtly improved with each vampire episode." - Should it be "had" instead of "has"? Also, maybe "subsequent vampire episode"?

"The actors had fittings done of their mouths" - Sounds funny. Can you say mold instead of fitting?

I'll look at reception later. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 21:26, 28 February 2010 (UL–←

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External links modified[edit]

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