Talk:F. Scott Fitzgerald/GA2

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Reassessment per the issues at the review and the need for DYK confirmation. Kingsif (talk) 15:56, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Starsandwhales and HAL333: pinging interested parties. Kingsif (talk) 16:19, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • All free images
  • Infobox good
  • Images and quote box used appropriately
  • Copyvio check
  • The first (97% similar) source appears to have copied Wikipedia
  • But the next five, all with high percentages, don't. It seems to be a combination of lots of direct quotes, using common terms and story names, and likely some genuine copyvio. This may need further review.
Kingsif (talk) 16:19, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Refs and sources seem to be good, would be better if citations were added to the end of all sentences with direct quotations.
  • Lead good length, good coverage
  • Add commas around the name Mary Surratt - if this sentence is relevant enough to the topic
 Done
  • Her inheritance whose? His mothers?
 Done
  • by December they were inseparable - it's been a few sentences since Zelda/their relationship has been mentioned, so this could be clarified
  • he was unable to convince her - ditto, especially with this being a new paragraph
 Done Hopefully I did that correctly. ~ HAL333 13:41, 26 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The sentence To their delight, in the pages of the New York newspapers the couple had become icons of youth and success—enfants terribles of the Jazz Age is very authorial and could be revised to something much simpler, or possibly removed - the sentiment seems suitably expressed already
 Done
  • After the birth of Scottie, Fitzgerald returned to writing The Beautiful and Damned. But in early 1922, Zelda again became pregnant. - these should be one sentence
 Done
  • Too many wikilinks to Great Gatsby, and many other pages. There's a user script that can highlight these.
 Done
  • Are 'homosexual' and 'prostitute' worthy of wikilinks? Also, while this story is seemingly important, could it be trimmed?
  • As a note, is it possible to extricate Fitzgerald's private life enough away from his career to create separate sections/histories? They do seem to be rather intertwined, but reading about penis measuring in between book success is a bit jarring
His life and his works are just too close, many were almost autobiographical. In that way, he was kind of similar to Ernest Hemingway. That featured article combines the two, but does it much better. I’ll try to mimic that. ~ HAL333 03:50, 22 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Indeed, Fitzgerald was probably doesn't need 'Indeed'
 Done
  • as "The Crack-Up" in the eponymous short story - short story of the same name, not eponymous, I think
 Done
  • Need to fix the apostrophes in the Josephson quotation
 Done
  • With Hollywood, it's now somewhat non-chronological? What is the structure supposed to be?
  • In my mind it was chronological, but I was just adding content over the original subsections. Once I get in front of a desktop, I’m going to do some serious reworking and make the sections work better. ~ HAL333 01:52, 23 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • To the point Zelda's hospitalization is discussed twice, as is moving in with Sheilah Graham, and the Wilson publication of The Last Tycoon probably racks up three discussions.
  • The trip exacerbated the couple's Again, no recent reference to Zelda/Fitzgerald (in fact, it speaks of Fitzgerald and another woman directly before) and the article as a whole seems to assume the pair as a unit will be a universal constant that can be referred to without context whenever. Please make it clear throughout who people being discussed are.
 Done
  • Three Comrades should be italicized. Perhaps some explanation of the screenwriting credits system is warranted - I'm surprised he got any at all (I rewrote the WGA screenwriting credit system article, which has some relevant history - and mentions Fitzgerald's 'based on' Babylon Revisited credit)
  • 'vampire' probably doesn't need a wikilink, nor to be treated as a direct quotation since it's only one word
 Done
  • There is one instance of The Great Gatsby being shortened to Gatsby - and only one, so it's probably unnecessary
 Done
  • Fix quotation marks around “the aspect of a martyr, a sacrificial victim, a semi-divine personage.”
 Done
  • For the sentence beginning The publication of The Great Gatsby prompted T. S. Eliot to write - where does it end? At the ellipsis?
 Done
  • Is there any reason for including "As for that current dodge 'No reference to any living character is intended' – no use even trying that", Fitzgerald writes at the beginning of the story?
 Done

Overall[edit]

The most pertinent issue is the structure. It's non-indicative, non-chronological, etc. Repetition of moments/facts abounds. More issues detailed above. Putting on hold, I wouldn't pass as GA at the moment. Kingsif (talk) 17:29, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I'm currently on a road trip, but I’ll make the more extensive improvements when I get back in in a few days. ~ HAL333 22:16, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
As it's been a week (and I just got a ping at DYK), I've looked at the work that's been done. @HAL333: you done some great work up to this morning restructuring and rephrasing, which was a main concern - it flows a lot more like Hemingway's article now. I'd still encourage you to continue on the work/thread that you've been doing, but the main GA issues have been resolved, so happy to pass. More improvement obviously welcome! Kingsif (talk) 09:18, 28 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Kingsif Thanks! I’ll keep at it. ~ HAL333 13:23, 28 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Note I just realized how crappy the references are. I'll completely revamp those. ~ HAL333 03:46, 22 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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