Talk:Coldbath Fields riot/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 17:03, 26 November 2022 (UTC)
Happy to review the article.
Review comments[edit]
Generally, the main issue is concerned with the quality of the prose—the article would have benefitted from being copy edited before being nominated. However, I found the article to be an interesting read, supported by excellent references.
Lead section[edit]
- Link Southwark.
- Add commas after the Reform Act of 1832, started the violence, dispersed the crowd, and two officers. This section, and elsewhere, lacks sufficient commas. Please check the article for other places where commas are needed.
- and planned to disperse it – ‘in order to disperse it’?
- There are varying figures for the number present at the meeting of between 70 and 600 police officers and 300 to 6,000 members of the public. - consider amending to something like ’Figures for the number of police present varied between 70 and 600 officers; figures for members of the public who attended varied between 300 to 6,000.’
- a portion – consider replacing with ‘a number’.
- but no man – 'but no-one’.
- as it had not been signed – what is the it being referred to here?
- Consider enlarging the image (to upright=1.25), as at present the detail is hard to see, and the image is after all the hook that will pull the reader in.
- Done, thanks also for improving the image - 10:49, 6 December 2022 (UTC)
- I would add the source of the image to the caption, as it's not contemporary (Arthur Griffiths, Mysteries of Police and Crime (1899), “Fight Between Police and Mob at Coldbath Fields in 1833”).
- Only 3 of the 14 lines (on my screen) actually describe the riot itself, which doesn't seem much. I would reduce the first paragraph, which contains a lot of background information.
1 Background[edit]
- Link Metropolitan Police in the caption, and perhaps amend c. 1840 using {{circa}}.
- which had struggled – I believe it should be ‘who had struggled’.
- rapidly growing looks better hyphenated imo.
- The public were highly suspicious of the police, viewing them as an extension of the arm of the state. – Did all the public feel this way?
- Good point, changed to most and added additional source
- by discipline issues is rather vague, could an example be provided, perhaps in a separate note?
- The public derided the police – all the public?
- There was little respect and much resentment; two officers had been killed while on duty in 1830 alone. - It 's not obvious that these clauses should be connected. It also needs to be made clearer who were being disrespectful or resentful—the police, the criminal fraternity, politicians?
- the police as an infringement – can people be an infringement?
- Changed to "establishment of the police"
- called a meeting on open ground – presumably ‘called a meeting, to be held on open ground’
- (Not GA) The two images sandwich the text (see MOS:SANDWICH).. I would use Template:multiple image to solve this problem.
2 Riot[edit]
- Introduce and link David Goodway (I would also link him in the References section).
- Linked. I've tried to introduce each of the historians. The paragraph got a bit bulky and distracting so I've switched it to a footnote.
- Link public house (Pub).
- had a low level of knowledge of how best to deal – ‘had little experience in dealing with’?
- The refs that follow a NUWC meeting need to be swapped around, as multiple citations should be in numerical order. This issue occurs elsewhere.
- Sarah Wise (2012) gives only ... outnumbered 10-1 seems clumsy and inconsistent – I don’t see why the four authors need to be given prominence here. The text needs to be rewritten to reflect this point.
- It is disputed – by whom?
- and another reported that the police were drunk should be in a separate sentence, to help shorten the overlong sentence.
- Consider block-quoting the Times quote. (The quote comes from ‘The meeting of the National Union’, Tuesday, May 14, 1833, issue 15164, p. 5. The Times Digital Archive, link.gale.com/apps/doc/CS84697262/TTDA?u=nl_earl&sid=bookmark-TTDA&xid=5007ac3a. (I can provide the full text of the article if you would like it).
3 Aftermath[edit]
- Link Member of Parliament, in caps, using Member of Parliament (United Kingdom).
- often anti-police – sounds too informal.
- Imo Campbell is a peripheral figure, and does not warrant being illustrated with a portrait. Ditto Cobbett.
- Link Hackney; Thames; Twickenham; steamer (presumably Steamboat; St Pancras (St Pancras, London); guinea (Guinea (coin)).
- (what would now be deputy chief constable) can be omitted as superfluous.
- rendering it – what is it referring to here?
- There seems to be a full stop after of a British jury, not after the quote marks (see the image in the http://www.open.ac.uk/ source).
- Upon arrival they were greeted with a cannon salute and a cheering crowd who had turned out despite the rain. - needs copy editing.
- Imo it comes over as strange that Joseph Sadler Thomas is not mentioned before, being accused as he was for his behaviour during the riot. Is his role during the riot known?
- Consider including this facsimile of a broadside sheet issued after the inquest, which contains a lot of interesting details.
- Good find, added. Though I'm wary of adding detail from it where it doesn't appear in a secondary source, as it is supportive of the jurymen - Dumelow (talk) 17:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- Quite right, and as a primary source it shouldn't be used as a citation. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:28, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- Good find, added. Though I'm wary of adding detail from it where it doesn't appear in a secondary source, as it is supportive of the jurymen - Dumelow (talk) 17:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
4 Legacy[edit]
- for decades – consider amending to ‘from the 1830s to the 1870s’ (as given in the citation).
- reformed and increased the size of the police in London – ‘reformed London’s police force and increased their numbers’ sounds better I think.
- Green died of injuries sometime after the event so only Culley and Blakelock died during a riot. I see no need for this to be included (and he died of his injuries the day after riot, so surely the statement is misleading).
- Similar to Culley no-one was convicted of the killings of Green or Blakelock – ‘No-one was ever convicted of any of the deaths.’ sounds better?
5 References[edit]
- (Not GA) See here for the debate in Parliament on the death of Culley. It's a long read, but an invaluable source for anyone interested in researching the riot, and I would include it in an External links section, if you don't want to use it to expand the article.
On hold[edit]
I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 9 December 12 December to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:22, 1 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thankyou for the review Amitchell125. I'm travelling this weekend so will try to address the comments from Tuesday, all the best - Dumelow (talk) 08:46, 3 December 2022 (UTC)
- I've added on another few days to allow you enough time. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:51, 3 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for the thorough review Amitchell125, I think I've addressed all your comments above, but let me know if I've missed anything or you disagree with any changes I've made. I'll try to go through (probably tomorrow) to look at adding additional commas. Apologies for the time I've taken to look at this - Dumelow (talk) 17:23, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- I've added on another few days to allow you enough time. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:51, 3 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thankyou for the review Amitchell125. I'm travelling this weekend so will try to address the comments from Tuesday, all the best - Dumelow (talk) 08:46, 3 December 2022 (UTC)
Passing[edit]
The article has now passed at GA, many thanks for producing an interesting an informative read. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:33, 10 December 2022 (UTC)