Talk:Blue Dragon Children's Foundation

Hope this is OK

Hey. I created this page as I did a lot of work for the charity (I'm the muppet who did the walk mentioned in the article) and I noticed they didn't have a presence on Wikipedia. I'd tried to keep the tone as neutral as possible while still covering all the work they do. Please do feel free to edit the language and tone to make it fit better as an article if you feel it's necessary.

It does need a little more work, and I'll try to get my contribution done and completed today (and this includes the "see also" section that someone's already tagged as needing a cleanup - good to know it's being looked at already!) IainP (talk) 07:01, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Hey - not bad for a start. I've rated the article Start-class, mainly because it could use some work in several ways: mainly tone/style (the prose sounds a little too familiar for an encyclopedia; for example, referring to major players by first name rather than last, or phrases like "The process wasn't a simple one, but...", or the heading "Blue Dragon's Work", which makes the article sound promotional) and cites (only one fact in the article seems to be referenced with inline citations—and four of them, to boot; all major facts and statistics, as well as any controversial claims, should be referenced). Another thing is that the article could probably be organized a little better, for example, with a separate section explaining the administration and governance of the organization, in addition to the "work", "fundraising", and "history" sections. Otherwise, not bad at all, and keep up your contributions! --dragfyre_ʞןɐʇc 18:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

Thanks dragfyre. I'm actually in Hanoi at the moment, but working long hours as a Tour Guide. When I get the chance I'll definitely look at tidying the article up. I initially just copied a lot of the facts from the charity's own page as a starting point hence the lack of references, promotional sound etc. IainP (talk) 05:30, 12 June 2010 (UTC)