Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Bombardment of Papeete

Bombardment of Papeete

I've been working on this article for quite a while and want to submit it for a Good Article review, but would like a peer review first. What else do you think should be included/changed in the article to meet the requirements of a Good Article. Any advice is greatly appreciated.XavierGreen (talk) 22:17, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

Ian Rose

This is a well-written article on an interesting action that I think should do quite well at GAN. Apart from my usual light copyedit, I have the following comments:

• Re. the name of the action, which you discuss on the talk page, I tend to prefer simply "Bombardment of Papeete" if there's no major sourcing for "Battle of Papeete". Also a bit confusing to have the article named "Bombardment of Papeete" but "Battle of Papeete" in the infobox. Note I also had to change your wording in the first sentence because while, grammatically, "Bombardment of Papeete in French Polynesia by German warships" is correct, "Battle of Papeete" requires something like "involving German warships" to agree.
• I feel we're missing a sentence from the start of the Background section; be good to know just a little bit more about what Spee was up to when he decided to split his foroes.
• Last sentence of Background should have a citation.
• You're using a mixture of British and American English spelling, e.g. "armoured" and "colours" vs. "defenses" and multiple instances of "harbor" (but also "harbour"). Given this is about French vs. Germans I don't think it matters which you use so long as it's consistent.
• I'm a bit confused about Destremau's status. His first mention implies he was directly in command of Zelee only, but subsequently it seems clear that he's either de jure commander of all French forces at Papeete, or de facto commander of all French forces at Papeete by virtue of being Zelee's commander - can you clarify?
• A copra store, market, as well as several other buildings... reads oddly. Do we mean "a market"? Probably should also just be "and several other buildings..." in any case.

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:11, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

Another editor had repeatedly changed the article's title to Battle of Papeete without any sources to back him up. After i changed it back to the Bombardment of Papeete he added it to the first line of the introduction and the infobox. Ive fixed them all now so that they say Bombardment of Papeete.XavierGreen (talk) 17:58, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

Destremau was the commander of the Zelee, but apparently as he was the ranking officer there at the time of the battle overal command fell to him during the battle.XavierGreen (talk) 17:58, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

I think ive fixed the rest of the issues you mentioned.XavierGreen (talk) 00:43, 24 January 2010 (UTC)