Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Edgar Lee Hewett

Edgar Lee Hewett

Several changes were made to this article since the last peer review, based on peer review recommendations. Requesting a second peer review to help move this article along to WP:GA status.SqlPac (talk) 16:14, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

Yannismarou

• MoS inconsistencies. Do not wikilinkg single years only full dates: year-month-date. Instead of -- , use —.
• Try to have at least one citation in each paragraph.
• "Hewett's time at the head of the Normal School can be viewed as generally successful." By whom? Sources?
• "a practice that, in the eyes of Hewett's many critics, would characterize and compromise much of his later writing as well". Who were these critics? Cite.
• "Roosevelt's first use of the Antiquities Act was not to protect." Why italics?
• "a base for his increasingly professional (if still controversial)". Why controversial?
• "Another factor had to do with Hewett's own personality. He had many supporters, but also many critics, and some of the latter complained that his real goal was to ensure that he, Edgar L. Hewett, D.Sc., Director of the School of American Research, would have access to, and control of, the Plateau's sites -- while his rivals would not." But you don't refer to his personality, his character, but to the accusations of his critics (having to do with his motives and not with his personality). If there are any interesting features of his personality leading to these accusations, mention them.
• "Hewett remarried in 1911, to Donizetta Jones Wood, who would survive him." This is not about his academic life. Maybe you should place it somewhere else. Possibly when you speak about his first wife's death.
• "His 1943 book Ancient Life in the American Southwest, cited below, amounts to a rehashing of a lifetime of archaeology without contributing anything new, and most of it could have been written at least 20 years earlier. Its tone also strikes the modern reader as annoyingly patronizing to (yet still respectful of) the people he studied, but Hewett was, after all, a product of his times." The whole phrasing here looks to me uncyclopedic and hardly in terms with WP:POV.
• Maybe a "Legacy" section, speaking about what's left to us from his work and efforts would be useful. If there is anything left ...
• In line sources (for example the one in citation 10) are not properly formated. Make use of these useful templates: Template:cite web, Template:cite news, Template:cite encyclopedia, Template:cite journal, Template:cite book.
• I see no pages in citation 3.
• The article is a bit poor in terms of pictures. Could there be any improvement?
• "Hewett's interest in Frijoles Canyon was timely, for Adolph Bandelier had just started to describe, through both scientific papers and his novel The Delight Makers, prehistoric life on the Pajarito Plateau." Is the prose here OK? "Prehistoric life on the Pajarito Plateau" refers to The Delight Makers?

In general, the article looks comprehensive, informative and the prose seems to be fine.--Yannismarou (talk) 17:20, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

Javascript review

The following suggestions were generated with the aid of a semi-automatic javascript program:

• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months, days of the week or single years without accompanying dates should not be linked generally. Single years without accompanying dates, decades, and centuries should only be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Autoformatting of dates, years with full dates should be linked; for example, if January 15, 2006 appeared in the article, link it as January 15, 2006.^[?]
• Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
  • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”

Thanks, DrKiernan (talk) 13:52, 1 April 2008 (UTC)