Wikipedia:Peer review/NXIVM/archive1

NXIVM

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… User_talk:Jimbo_Wales/Archive_86#Keith_Raniere_and_NXIVM

Thanks, Chrisrus (talk) 17:40, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• Some spare whitespace at the top of the article looks weird.
• " It offers classes and seminars that encourages" encourage.
• Two disambiguation links (surgeon general and Stephen Cooper).
• Very brief lead, could be expanded.
• Why unlink New York in the infobox but link US?
• "Some of its clients include " -> Some of NXIVM's clients...
• "manual to others. [8]" remove spaces between punctuation and references.
• References need consistent date formats, need to have full parameter lists, i.e. publisher, work, accessdate, publication date, author etc wherever applicable.
• "The three critical articles " not NPOV, just stick to "Three articles..."

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:39, 12 December 2011 (UTC)