Comments - good, big work!
- Update the fair use licensing on the JB image to add "List of" in front of JB novels and stories.
- " who write two novelizations" wrote (and not mad keen on all the z's, being a BritEng article, but not gonna make a fuss! Although later you use "organisation", so I'd at least be internally consistent with your s's and z's...)
- "was asked to continue " by whom?
- "followed, in 2011, " not sure those commas are really needed.
- In the infobox, why is Mother, Father, Aunt, Uncle capitalised while son isn't? Also not sure if "invalid" isn't a little ambiguous...
- "Upon accepting the job, Fleming requested that he be allowed three months holiday per year.[1] Publishers Jonathan Cape were initially reluctant to publish the book, ..." a bit of a non-sequitur for me....
- You may wish to link s and d (shillings and pence) for those unfamiliar with pre-decimal British currency.
- You say Bond's an "intelligence officer" in the prose, but a "00 agent" (linked) in the infobox. I guess "00 agent" is an intelligence officer, but you may wish to be consistent.
- "World War II" or "Second World War", be consistent.
- Felix Leiter is overlinked (in the second novel).
- fortune-telling is hyphenated.
- Is it "Mr. Big" or "Mr Big"?
- "Bond is then nearly killed by Colonel Rosa Klebb, one of the SMERSH planners. "... is that how it ends?
- "SMERSH target Bond to be killed and caught in a compromising situation..." doesn't appear to be written like the other summaries...
- When you refer to Dr No a second time, you just say "No", but you don't with "Mr Big". Any reason?
- "Bond is told a story " so Bond isn't actually in A Quantum of Solace?
- Only at the beginning and end whilst his host tells the story—see the plot summary I did for the book version.
- "have hijacked and seized its two " hijacked what?
- Is "The Spy Who Loved Me" really that boring? Just a question, the summary of it would indicate it could have been done in a couple of pages!
- "Bond's continues to search " grammar fail.
- "Thorough contact " typo.
- "and the pair, but Blofeld kills " missing word, probably important...
- " leaves him with amnesia and Bond lives " just "and he lives" is fine.
- You link CIA and MI6, so you ought to link KGB, the first time, not the second.
- " CBS television " shouldn't that be "the CBS television network"?
- "Climax!.[26]" avoid that double full stop.
- Dates for publication of "For Your Eyes Only" and "Risico"? Presumably the same as "From a View to a Kill" so just repeat.
- "The fictional chronology" -> "Fictional chronology" per WP:HEAD.
That gets me to the post-Fleming section, so I'll stop here and let you catch up. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:48, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for taking the time on that. I think I've covered all the points you raised, but please let me know if I've missed any or misunderstood your comments. Cheers - SchroCat (^ • @) 13:09, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments part deux (and yes, am satisfied the first tranche have been dealt with satisfactorily!)
- One I missed from before, "Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond." doesn't need a full stop.
- I think we prefer to use unspaced en-dashes not em-dashes for year ranges, i.e. 1968–1979 instead of 1968—1979.
- The third of the three novels in this section has a different colour border around it, are you seeing that?
- I am: there are three colours which underline the bottom of the boxes: a darker blue for the novels, a lighter blue for the short stories and the orange colour for the novelizations. Two of these are part of the template. - SchroCat (^ • @) 16:18, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Not sure you really need to link "outer space", pretty common term for regular English speakers/readers.
- Was it really a Space Shuttle? If so, capitalise it, if not, probably needs a more generic link. Our article says the first real Shuttle flight wasn't until 1981, this novelization was two years earlier... just wondering.
- Yes, it was a SS – the programme had been around since the 1960s, even though the first flight wasn't until 1981.
- Possibly worth linking "Maggie Thatcher" for those of a more modern generation...
- "In 1996, Gardner retired from writing James Bond books due to ill health.[53]" and "Ill-health forced Gardner to retire from writing the Bond novels in 1996.[55]" - don't need 'em both.
- "Bond goes undercover to be sacked from MI6" isn't it the other way round, "he is "sacked" from MI6 to go undercover"?
- Link Moneypenny (notable supporting part).
- "The murder of two women connected to a Cold War mission are brutally murdered" que?
- "multiple terrorist bombings " no need to repeat "terrorist" here.
- "Bond established the " keep tense consistent so "establishes"
- "the Brotherhood of Anarchy " -> The...
- Same coloured border thing above Broken Claw...
- Death is Forever, no need to relink CIA.
- "American author Raymond Benson became the author " author author is a little tedious.
- Who's Jeremy Black and why should I care what he has to say?
- "Benson followed Gardner's pattern of setting Bond in the contemporary timeframe of the 1990s[72] and, according to Jeremy Black, had more echoes of Fleming's style than John Gardner,[73] he also changed Bond's gun back to the Walther PPK,[74] put him behind the wheel of a Jaguar XK8[75] and made him swear more,[76] which led Black to note that there was an increased level of crudity lacking in either Fleming or Gardner.[73] " is one helluva large sentence.
- "However, the Peterborough Evening Telegraph stated ..." is that the best source you've got (no offence Peterborough!)?
- Shouldn't Kirkus Reviews be in italics?
- "Bond established that " same comment as before...
- Colour thing again, above "The Facts of Death[81]"
- "female TV news " television
- Electra - do you mean Elektra?
- "preventing the assassination" +s.
- "a post 9/11" hyphenate and link
- "a cancer drug" a drug to cure cancer?
- Do you need a {{main}} template for Young Bond when you link the article straight away. Also, shouldn't" Young Bond be italicised every time?
- " the two children are kidnapped" which two children?
- "and is eventually forced to flee " who is, Bond or the maid?
- Is the graphic novel Silverfin or SilverFin?
- Ref 107 doesn't mention "A Hard Man to Kill", it links to "Danger Society"...
- The British Library is just called British Library.
- Ref 45, is James Leasor the name of the article? The author? If the name, who wrote it?
- Obviously once you've tidied up the repeated ill-health comment, refs 53 and 55 will be resolved. Keep 55.
- Ref 106, why is "(Graphic Novel)" in parentheses?
The Rambling Man (talk) 14:16, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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