Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Effects of Hurricane Wilma in Mexico/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 4 June 2020 [1].

Effects of Hurricane Wilma in Mexico[edit]

Nominator(s): ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 12:13, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the effects of one of the strongest Atlantic hurricanes. Hurricane Wilma will have its 15 year anniversary this October, so I am hoping to have it as a featured topic. The main article is in the process of being finished, but the article for Wilma's effects in Mexico is done, so I thought I'd nominate it for FAC. I use a variety of sources in both English and Spanish, from when the storm was active to follow up reports on its long term aftermath. I haven't had a formal peer review for the article aside from a GAN, but I believe the article holds up well, and I think it should be considered for FA candidacy. I'll happily address any of your comments. Happy 420 everyone! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 12:13, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Ian Rose: - my (real) life has gotten a lot busier since I nominated this, and the article still isn't quite there, so I'd like to withdraw this article's FAC. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:25, 4 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, tks -- will action. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:51, 4 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose

  • I'm confused by your approach to the infobox here. I think based on the text that you're using the highest winds and lowest pressure specific to after Mexican landfall, but that's not clear, especially given that the dates provided above that are for the storm overall not just the Mexican portion
  • That's a good point. I checked with other effects articles, which don't have the data parameter there. I'm not sure if that's ideal, but considering how big tropical cyclones are, there's no perfect start/end point for Wilma's effects in Mexico. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:50, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Generally I find the prose is in need of work. Examples:
    • "The gust in Cancún was the strongest recorded on record in Mexico" - redundancy
      • Changed to "was the strongest ever recorded in Mexico" ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:50, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • "it strengthened into the strongest" - repetitive
    • "Over a 24 hour period" is missing hyphen
      • Fixed every case of this. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:50, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        • Not quite, and there are other examples of this type of error - eg "$400 million fund" should be hyphenated. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:39, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Western Hemisphere is generally capitalized
  • "Wilma destroyed 4,571 houses and caused damage to 28,980 other homes" - Looking at the text, the former number is a single state, while the latter is overall. This is not clear from what's written in the lead, and since these figures have different sources it is not clear to what degree they may overlap (ie. the first may actually be included in the second, rather than being "other")
  • I double checked my numbers (and Spanish) and corrected my mistake. Thank you for catching that. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:40, 8 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • What source are you using for the conversion from MXN to USD?
  • Are you converting a 2005 MXN figure directly to 2020 USD? Or is this 2005 USD? Nikkimaria (talk) 21:39, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Hurricane Hunters recorded a minimum pressure of 882 mbar (26.05 inHg)" - the link here is to a general article on hurricane hunters, if you're intending a specific group that should be clarified
  • "the NHC estimated the landfall intensity" - this is the first mention of the NHC but there's no link or full name
  • What are "local materials" for houses?
  • The ref says "Rural homes on the outskirts, made of local materials, were obliterated." ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:40, 8 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Suggest quoting that if it can't be clarified, as it's not a particularly meaningful phrase. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:39, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The storm also damaged communication antennas" repeats from two sentences previous
  • Citation formatting needs cleaning up - organizations like the Salvation Army are publishers not work titles, newspaper titles like La Nacion should be italicized, some are missing components of the citation (eg FN 20 missing author). Nikkimaria (talk) 20:57, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Definitely still issues in this department - eg El Universal should be italicized while Red Cross shouldn't. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:39, 9 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm starting to get to these, sorry for taking so long, RL has been a bitch lately. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:50, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dudley[edit]

  • I thought I should review this article as a cousin of mine and her husband lived through the hurricane confined to their holiday home on Cozumel as it was too dangerous to go out.
  • "The effects of Hurricane Wilma in Mexico severely affected the tourism industry of the Yucatán Peninsula in October 2005." I do not like this lead sentence. 1. It sounds odd to say "the effects" "affected". 2. It does not seem right to only mention tourism at the start and not the 300,000 left homeless etc. 3. Cozumel as well as Yucatan was severely affected.
  • "Over a 24-hour period, Wilma produced 1,633.98 mm (64.330 in) of rainfall" Below you say that this was on one rain gauge. You should make clear that it was not widely across Yucatan.
  • "orchestrated the response with a goal of quick revival tourist areas" "of tourist areas"?
  • "About 3,500 people worked to restore water and power service, although total restoration of electricity was expected to take about a month." "expected to take" sounds odd for something which happened 15 years ago.
  • "crews installed geotubes and dredged about 2.5 million m3 (660 ft3) of sand," What is a geotube? Also I would take dredging sand to mean removing it, not adding it.
  • The arrangement of the aftermath section does not seem logical as it mixes short term and long term effects. I think you should cover the immediate results and rescue efforts first and the longer term consequences at the end. Dudley Miles (talk) 16:26, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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