User talk:MarydaleEd

== Sources ==

Thanks for updating Prurigo simplex. I dropped by to say that you might be interested in Wikipedia:Reliable sources/Cost, and to say that, for better or worse, that expensive medical school textbook is considered a proper type of source for medical content, whereas a website like Osmosis.org is not.

Also, if you haven't looked into Wikipedia:The Wikipedia Library, which gives experienced editors access to many paywalled sources, including some highly rated medical journals, I recommend it wholeheartedly. WhatamIdoing (talk) 06:58, 18 May 2024 (UTC)

Tone deafness

If you were serious about your original comments on Doug's page, I would like to let you know that they come off as seriously tone deaf and offensive. Perhaps you don't see them that way, but reading your user page and talk page comments tells me you may need some practice with your communication skills. I hope this doesn't offend you. If you want to talk about it further, let me know. Viriditas (talk) 23:12, 21 May 2024 (UTC)

Your post here is accepted in the spirit in which I believe you sent it. I see how others view what I said, but Doug and I have a history. He pretty much knew how I felt about sparring with him on Wikipedia. However, what was missed was that I was drawing a difference between how people can go to battle, so to speak, on Wikipedia, but put it in proper perspective in the face of real life. How it came off to others is not my concern. It was a post on Doug's page for Doug. My only concern would be if he didn't understand it and I caused him grief. That is the last thing I would want to do. I have communicated with him privately since and hope the issue has been put to rest between him and me. It truly hurt my heart when I read of his illness. I do not feel there is any problem, as you suggested, with my communication skills. I speak clearly, directly and most of all, in truth. As a journalist and editor, I have achieved much in my life's work that has been based solely on my ability to communicate. Of course, one is always learning with every day if one wants to obtain authentic self-actualization, so do not think your words fell on deaf ears. They did not. You were kind in your approach and I respect that. It is not possible to offend me when differences are discussed respectfully. I hope to get the opportunity to collaborate with you on Wikipedia. I would enjoy that. All the best and thank you for your post. MarydaleEd (talk) 23:46, 21 May 2024 (UTC)

MarydaleEd, I must second Viriditas on the tone-deafness of your comments on Doug's page. To spell it out: a public message of the form "you are a bully, yet I am sorry for your illness" seems designed more to serve the sender's self-regard ("Look, how magnanimous I am!") rather than express sincere condolences, for which Floquenbeam's edited version would have sufficed. I take your word that this was not your intention. So I hope you will pay attention to the feedback you have received about your on-wiki communication skills. Cheers. Abecedare (talk) 00:25, 22 May 2024 (UTC)

Abecedare, I can see how one could draw the conclusion that I was being magnanimous in that regard, so I accept that challenge. My point was that despite how we feel about those who take us "to battle," so to speak on Wikipedia, even in the strongest sense, that all of that pales in the face of real life and the real people behind these names we see. I wasn't being magnanimous. I could not have been more sincere in my concern for his life. But I detest the idea of sugarcoating a person regardless of outside influences. I am not tone deaf. I am honest, so be honest with me. He can be very difficult and has not been a picnic for a lot of editors here. But, again, that is just Wikipedia. In real life, I am guessing there are many people who love him. I'm guessing children who adore him and in real life he is facing the hardest of challenges. That breaks my heart. But, life is complicated. People are complicated. We are complex human beings who have the capacity for great things and for things that are not great. Let's not insult him by suggesting he is a one-dimensional person who now bears only one identity - that of terminal cancer. He is sick, but he is a tough cookie on Wikipedia who can spar with the best of them and hold his own, even at the expense of others sometimes, and yes, sometimes come off as a bully. My point is only that one of those things is a worthy endeavor, and one of those things is the only thing that really matters. As a human being, he encompasses both. I do appreciate your words. All the best. MarydaleEd