User talk:Floptimusprime

Ping[edit]

Please see the discussion, which was moved to User_talk:Floptimusprime/GuardianEdge#You_got_the_page_back when the page was moved.--~T P W 20:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Brief review[edit]

Okay I took a look and I can understand why this was deleted, despite having a couple of promising references. Since this article is in your userspace it's not polite for me to edit it without getting your okay, but here are some things I spotted.

Products - I would not mention the name of any product which is not mentioned in a third-party reference (something it's obvious you could not have written). The product listing makes this article look like a brochure, which makes it a legitimate target for deletion.
Timeline - This would be better organized as a prose "history" section.
References - you have some solid third-party references that could be used better. For example, anything that is mentioned in the first-referenced article can be included in this entry. On the other hand, information which is not included in a third-party reference should never be included in a business article, unless it's absolutely clear that it cannot be disputed (for example, the name of the business). This is not a policy, but it's the standard I hold business articles to, because they are so very likely to be deleted otherwise.
Take a look at WP:LEAD to see how the first paragraph could be structured better. It should not have a heading of its own, and it should summarize the contents of the entire article. When technical terminology is necessary, it should be "wikilinked" to other Wikipedia articles.

I believe that some rewriting, combined with your commitment to follow WP:BESTCOI, will make it possible to get this article returned to the main article space in a form that meets Wikipedia's standards.--~T P W 21:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please do make edits that you think are necessary for passing admin eye balls, I made some following your suggestions. I'm wondering if the referenced article does list the products and discusses them, is that good enough to list them here in the wiki article? I'll go through and wikilink terms that haven't been done, please take another look and I will post a message about my COI once it's good enough for the public. Thank you very much! Floptimusprime (talk) 18:53, 9 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]