User:Pkibur1/sandbox

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Homework 2/6[edit]

Columbia, South Carolina is in need Grammatical fixes Pkibur1 (talk) 08:53, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/9[edit]

I edited the Accolades section of Columbia, South Carolina cleaning up some grammatical issues Pkibur1 (talk) 04:03, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

Good job. Josef Horáček (talk) 22:15, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Sources[edit]

Monday 2/9[edit]

Columbia, South Carolina is in need of additional sources/citations

Thursday 2/12[edit]

[1] [2] [3] [4]

Reference List[edit]

  1. ^ Wolgemuth, Liz. "Best Places to Retire". U.S. News & World Report. 146 (9): 38.
  2. ^ Sherman, William Tecumse (2009). Burning of Columbia, South Carolina. Great Neck Publishing. p. 384.
  3. ^ "Top Five International Business Schools". Journal of Commerce (Special Report): 6A. April 1997.
  4. ^ Lesesne, Henry H, (2002). A History of the University of South Carolina, 1940-2000. University of South Carolina.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
Your sources look great. Josef Horáček (talk) 22:16, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

The Lead[edit]

Homework 2/19(The Lead Part I)[edit]

Challenged Athletes Foundation is in need of a lead section, which I will write in the days to follow https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challenged_Athletes_Foundation

Homework 2/23[edit]

This article is listed as missing a proper lead section, lacking citations and references, and written like an advertisement according to the Wikipedia error ribbon. While I agree with the first two assertions, I somewhat disagree with the third with the exception of the current "lead." I believe the article has some room for improvement in terms of balance, specifically in the events and athletes sections.

Homework 2/26[edit]

The Challenged Athletes Foundation (CAF), established in 1997, assists, supports, and provides opportunity to people with physical challenges, that they might lead active lifestyles and compete in athletic events. [1]. It is founded in the belief that involvement in sports at any level increases self-esteem, encourages independence and enhances quality of life. The Foundation does this by providing admissions for training, competition, rehabilitation, and equipment for the challenged athletes.

The Challenged Athletes Foundation is divided into five different programs: Access for Athletes, Operation Rebound, Catch a Rising Star, and Project N.EX.T. all of which focus on the betterment of disabled athletes, but vary in their target group. Access for Athletes is the flagship program of the Foundation.


I do think the old lead read like an advertisement. Yours is already much better. Some suggestions: 1. Flip the content of the first two sentences. 2. What does "providing admissions" mean? 3. The third paragraph is still too promotional. Especially the phrase "makes a point to reach out." In fact, I wonder if the paragraph says anything not already mentioned in previous paragraphs. You could probably do without it. Josef Horáček (talk) 06:04, 1 March 2015 (UTC)
You don't need the italics and bold lettering in the second paragraph, but good job otherwise. Josef Horáček (talk) 12:53, 10 March 2015 (UTC)
  1. ^ "Challenged Athletes Foundation". Challenged Athletes Foundation.