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User:Mil3096/Jane J. Robinson/AmoderateDflatmajor Peer Review

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General info

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Whose work are you reviewing?

Mil3096

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Mil3096/Jane J. Robinson
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Jane J. Robinson

Evaluate the drafted changes

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(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead you have does a great job of expanding on the lead in the live article, you've greatly increased the information present. I think that you could delete some of the links/citations and cite them using the Wikipedia tool to make the citations more consistent across the page. I also suggest, unless I'm misunderstanding, putting "née Johnson" instead of "formally known as Jane Johnson." For the Contributions/Involvement section, I think either Involvement or Career would be a good title. For any particularly notable contributions, you could make a subheading and write a paragraph just about that contribution. This is a nitpick, but in the last sentence of the first life paragraph, the phrase "went on" is used twice; finding some other way to phrase this would increase readability. Considering the format of Wikipedia, the bullet points in the Contributions/Involvement section should probably be formatted into prose. Overall, I think you have a lot of good information here, and a good draft, it just needs to be formatted a little more to be consistent with Wikipedia.