User:Cwdascher15/Michael Martin Hammer/Marcus2023 Peer Review

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Cwdascher15

Link to draft you're reviewing

User:Cwdascher15/Michael Martin Hammer

Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Michael Martin Hammer

Evaluate the drafted changes

Lead

Guiding questions:

• Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
  • Yes, the lead has been updated to include information about the theory of reengineering the corporation.
• Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
  • Yes it does.

Content

Guiding questions:

• Is the content added relevant to the topic?
  • The content added is relevant to the topic. The new information provides the reader with a better understanding of Hammer's work.

Tone and Balance

Guiding questions:

• Is the content added neutral?
  • The content is neutral. The editor did a great job at providing more in-depth information about the works of Michael Hammer.

Organization

Guiding questions:

• Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
  • The article is concise and somewhat easy to read. Additional headers and subheads would greatly increase the readability of the article.
• Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? - I have bolded all the grammatical errors that I noticed in the article.
  • "Re-engineering the Corporation: Manifesto for Business Revolution" in the lead should be "Reengineering". The entire sentence is currently bold in the public article and it should not be. All instances of "Re-engineering" needs to be changed to "reengineering"
  • "Hammer being the very motivated he decided to go for his doctorate in computer science in 1973." should be edited to be "Hammer also earned his doctorate in computer science in 1973." to remove fluff and to correct the grammar.
  • "After Hammer graduated from the institute, he worked in the department of Computer Science and as a lecturer assistant in the MIT Sloan School of Management." - I removed the quotations around "assistant" because they don't seem to have a purpose.
  • In 1987, he began working as a managing consultant where he taught theory and began researching business quality and non-quality work and how to reengineer corporations/business processes.
  • "Later on, he launched the managing consulting firm Hammer and Company" punctuation and capitalization errors.
  • "He spent most of his time as a lecturer, consultant, author." capitalization error
  • "Procter & Gamble, Xerox, and American Standard. Hammer held seminars for thousands of people to inform them of how business re-engineering can benefit you and your business." missing words and spacing errors.
  • "BPR became really popular during the 1990s, due to many businesses struggling" - corrected spacing and spelling errors
  • "BPR is the ability"
  • "Hammer and Co. was able to help multiple companies"
  • "Michael Hammer's Idea of Revolution"
  • "Hammer's vision was not to fix anything but to instead start from scratch, he believed that reengineering was misunderstood and misinterpreted." - removed unnecessary words.
  • "He reengineered the business process structure to increase productivity and create more jobs within corporations. This contributed to the evolution of business processes through his redesign of the hierarchy of directors, managers, and workers. Hammer changed the traditional chain of command into a more collaborative relationship. With this change, managers would instead focus on the development of employees rather than supervising them. Hammer's ideas allowed companies to make fundamental changes to their processes and procedures, which will increase their overall performance in the long run."
  • "Hammer recognized that the conventional business model was old and outdated and realized that it needed to be integrated with the current economy. To achieve this, Hammer integrated the increased power of modern information technology which allowed multiple businesses to achieve sufficient improvements to their productivity, costs, quality, and service. The new principle of this model encouraged the specialization of labor from end to end processes. By doing so, more value was created for the customer. Not only does it benefit the customer, it also assists with the escalation of more job growth and production."
  • "Michael Martin Hammer passed away suddenly at age 60 when he suffered a brain hemmorage while on vacation. His funeral was held on Friday, Sept. 5 in Stanislavsky Memorial Chapel. He is buried in the Baker Street Jewish Cemeteries in West Roxbury, Boston."
• Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
  • No, the content is currently arranged in a confusing format. I would create a header and section for his awards instead of listing them in a paragraph below the Career header. I would also move his written works from the "Career" section to the"Publications" section. They are currently split up into multiple places and it is confusing.

Overall impressions

Guiding questions:

• Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
  • The content added has improved the quality of the article. The new information filled in various gaps that were present before.
• How can the content added be improved?
  • Correct all grammatical errors in the article. There are also many issues with spacing, punctuation, and capitalization. I corrected the most pressing errors but there are many others that need to be addressed. Overall, the new content is good and the article will be great once the errors are fixed!