User:Benjah-bmm27/The Drugs Song

The Drugs Song is a song from the album Fitness to Practice by Amateur Transplants, based on The Elements by Tom Lehrer. The Elements is itself derived from the Major-General's Song by Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance.

Lyrics[edit]

There's aspirin, adrenaline and also aminophylline,

Amphetamine, adenosine, augmentin and rifampicin,

Amoxicillin, penicillin, heparin and warfarin,

And oestrogen, progestagen and Canesten and chloroquine.

There's bendroflumethiazide and also cyclophosphamide,

And metoclopramide, acetazolamide, tropicamide

Loperamide, amiloride and cyclizine and frusemide,

And if you're up the duff then you'd best avoid thalidomide.

There's lithium, fluoxetine and also amitriptyline,

Paroxetine, digoxin, GTN and azathioprine,

Miconazole, atenolol and also chloramphenicol,

And if you want to overdose, there's always paracetamol.

There's Night Nurse* and there's phenytoin, Zirtek and diazepam

And lithium, temazepam, midazolam, clonazepam,

Testosterone, aldosterone, and Valium and insulin,

And lignocaine and Piriton and Ventolin and Ritalin.

There's cefuroxime, cefotaxime, cefalexin, cephedrine,

And metronidazole and ketoconazole, trimethoprim,

Erythromycin, gentamicin, macrolides, nifedipine,

And Actifed and Sudafed and Calpol with no sugar in.

There's phenelzine and hyoscine, ranitidine, cimetidine,

Potassium and calcium and ev'ry kind of vitamin,

And pethidine and methadone and speed, cocaine and heroin,

And cannabis and Prozac, morphine, alcohol and nicotine.

You must remember all these drugs, the names of which you've learned from me,

Or fuck 'em all and get a job in orthopaedic surgery.