Talk:The Erlenmeyer Flask/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Hi, I'm Music2611, I'll be conducting this GA review.

Lead

  • "...United States on May 13, 1994 on the Fox..." Why "The FOX" and not just fox? Done
  • "...and featured the death of Deap Troath", why is this notable? What makes the character significant? Done
  • Please add actors names in brackets behind the first mention of the characters Mulder and Scully. Done

Plot

  • Mulder, Scully and Deep Throat do not have to be linked as they already were in the lead. Done
  • "By investigating the car driven by Secare, Mulder and Scully find Dr. Berube, a scientist working in Gaithersburg" Very unclear sentence, was Dr. Berube in the car? What? Done
  • Please add the actor's name behind the first mention of the Crew cut man.
He's a one-time character, theirs no need.
Of course there is. He's a character, portrayed by an actor. Doesn't matter if he only made a cameo or something like that. His name should be in the article. I did it myself.--Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Who is Dr. Carpenter? Done
  • It's still unclear who she is.--Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done
  • How does Dr. Secare know Mulder?  Done
I've think i fixed this problem. If not, can you be a bit more specific. --TIAYN (talk) 06:07, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No, to me it is unclear why Dr. Secare calls Mulder. Are they related, is Dr. Secare an informant?--Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done
  • "The X-Files have been shut down"? What are the X-Files? Done
  • Does the poisonous gas emits from Dr. Secare's body on purpose?  Done--Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Production

  • Why are Mulder and Scully linked again? Done
  • "The scene with Fox Mulder and Dana Scully visiting Doctor Berube, who was portrayed by Ken Kramer." This sentence doesn't make any sense. Done
  • Monkeys? What monkeys? Done
  • "...the water had to fixed with a lot of special effects." Unclear sentence because there's a jump from past to present tense. If you change the word "fixed" to present tense the sentence would still be unclear. Done
  • "Portraying actor Simon Webb", who did he portray? And it sounds like someone is portraying actor Simon Webb. Done
  • Crane links to a disambiguation page. Done
  • Why do you link R.W. Goodwin again, just say "Goodwin". Done
  • In the final two sentences there is an overuse of the word "but". Done
  • Spell out "didn't" Done
  • There's no mention of Carter being the writer of the episode, though you do say so in the lead. Done --Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The real-life incident inspiration should be moved to the "development" section. Done--Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

  • Who is Chris Carter? Done
  • It says Robert Goodwin (and he is linked again), though he was adressed to as RW Goodwin previously. Done
  • Did it win the Edgar Award? To whom did it lose? Done
  • There's only reception info from the crew. Put in at least three reviews from newspapers or other media sources. Done

References

  • Why are they all so tiny? And there's space between a lot of sentences and refs, remove it. Done
  • Why isn't there a space between Lowry and Brian. Done
  • Why do you repeat each ref, after citing a book ref once, you can repeat it simply by stating "Lowry, p. 157" (or another page) or "Edwards, p. 77" (or, again, another page). Done

Other issues

  • The image is very unclear. Perhaps there's one out there with a better brightness. If not, please specify in the caption who is Deap Throat and who is the Crew Cut Man. Also say "shoots" instead of "kills", as, if you look realy, really closely you can see a gun in the hand of the right man. Done
That is a problem with all the early season one episodes of The X-Files.
  • Can you put in brackets with (left) and (right), that would make it more clear. Done --Music26/11 11:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I think i've fixed this.  Done
This appears to be the final comment left. Please read the WP page to see what ALT text is.--Music26/11 13:29, 22 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are a lot of issues in this article that need to be fixed, I'll place it on hold for a week. Also, feel free to review my FAC "The Revenge", which is currently running low of reviewers.--Music26/11 20:28, 20 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Pass this article has passed its GA review