Talk:Talking to the Moon/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: JayJay (talk · contribs) 17:39, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

I will review this article shortly JayJay^{What did I do?} 17:39, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

Lead

• The WP:Lead section should adequately summarize the articles main points. Many times in the article I see sentences where its just repeating from the Lead.
• What type of song is this, like what genre? Make sure to include that.  Done
• It was conceived as a big power jazz ballad. Throughout its lyrics, Mars' describes a failed relationship. → Consider revising, it seem to fit with the other content. Try to expand on these sentences more.  Done
• It is not necessary to include (2010) next to Doo-Wops & Hooligans.  Done
• Instead of Upon the release of "Doo-Wops & Hooligans", "Talking to the Moon" received generally favorable reviews from music critics. Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil, after receiving high airplay. → Try something like Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil after receiving high airplay. The track was later included in Mars' debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. "Talking to the Moon" received mixed to positive review from music critics  Done
• The song was part of the The song charted at number one on the Brazilian airplay charts. → What was the song part of? Finish the sentence and then end with a period starting the next sentence.  Done
• It has been covered by a number of artists. → Specify who it has been covered by.  Done

Background

• "And I'm singing the heck out of them." → "And I'm singing the s*** out of them." Remember Wikipedia is not censored so include any vulgarities, especially in quotes, exactly how they appear per WP:MOSQUOTE.  Done
• The track was later included on his debut studio album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans, released on October 4, 2010, almost five months later. → What label was it released under?  Done
• Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons confessed that ""Talking To The Moon" is one of my favourite songs on the album. → try something like Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons stated that "Talking To The Moon" was one of his favorite songs on the album Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Italicize Doo-Wops & Hooligans when doing this)  Done
• He explained that → He explained that, "We only had..."  Done

Composition

• "Talking to the Moon" is a power jazz ballad that lasts for three minutes and twenty-eight seconds. → The infobox says three minutes and thirty-seven seconds.  Done
• It was written by Albert Winkler, Jeff Bhasker, Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine and produced by the latter two. → Not necessary, already said in the Lead section. Instead put in the Background section and rename that section Background and production. Then add when it was recorded where and things like that in the Background section.  Done
• Lyrically, Mars depicted feelings of loneliness, lost and hope as he sings it of in the chorus: → No colon  Done
• , and as the song carries on, → Revise to something like . As the song continues, ... end the previous sentence with a period.  Done
• Audio sample needs to be reduced and comply with WP:SAMPLE  Done

Critical Reception

• This section is a big mess. It is so hard to follow who is saying what. Please take a look at WP:MOSQUOTE, and the entire section of MOS:PUNCT covering quotation marks, commas, periods and where to put them with quotation marks. I would also suggest looking at other songs that are Good Articles and look at how the Critical Reception section is formatted.

Commercial performance

• Can you find any sales figures, downloads, did it chart anywhere else?  Done

Live Performances

• Unless there was any other live performances merge into another section, or just get rid of it.  Done

Cover versions and usage in media

• Ellie Robertson covered the song → Who is she? Wheres the reference?  Done
• Most of the stuff is just repeated from what has already been said, find a place to put the information and expand on it without just repeating what it says in the Lead.

Sourcing

• Reference #1 - Not working  Done
• Reference #2, #3 - Fine
• Reference #4 - Fine
• Reference #5 - Fine
• Reference #6 - Asks me to open in iTunes then tells me it is not available in the U.S.  Done
• Reference #7 - Fine
• Reference #8 - Redirects me to Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Wikipedia article) which is not acceptable.
• Reference #9 - Not working, won't load  Done
• Reference #10 - OK
• Reference #11 - Fine
• Reference #12, #13, #14, #15, #16 - The review(s) is intended for the entire album and just giving a small input for every song. They are OK reviews.
• Reference #17 - Not working (wrong domain?)  Done
• Reference #18 - Not working  Done
• Reference #19 - Fine
• Reference #20 - Does not mention the song anywhere.

Neutrality

• It is hard to say that the song has reviewed generally positive reviews when only a few reviews have been made. Those reviews do not go into much depth only providing a sentence or two about the song. Most of the reviews also came from blogs, and not from many of the usual websites, magazines or newspapers that usually rate pop songs.
• Ari Levine was someone that was involved in the production so ofcourse he would say its a fabulous song. That might be giving a little bias.  Done

Overall

• I'm failing this article. I have thought about this really hard but its not quite GA material, if you could add a little more detail to the article and address all my issues it might be GA material. I would also suggest finding a picture. If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a message, I will be gone next week however. Sincerely JayJay^{What did I do?} 17:56, 13 June 2014 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.