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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 26 May 2020 and 2 July 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Maiakalani1.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:00, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 August 2021 and 9 December 2021. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Krs4d3, Abjay26, Cassidybohne. Peer reviewers: Llpfqd, Vaidajj, Lkm4gn, Abc8kr, EmilyInman.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:00, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(untitled)

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Group D - Hey friends your page looks great so far! The section titled “What makes raunch aesthetic acceptable” might have more validity if you speak on respectability politics and women of color, this may give readers a better idea about the politics surrounding gender, class, and race. All of the women mentioned in that section are women of color (Kim, Amber, and Beyoncé) but they all fuck with the patriarchy in such different controversial ways that the definition of raunch might be taken out of context or understood in a counter revolutionary manner. I’d recommend maybe using one of the artist that we’ve learned about so far, but that might be a stretch. The section titled “Raunch aesthetics empowering women” sounds a bit argumentative (example “If men and women were however treated equally these music videos of girls dancing half naked would be viewed in a different way”). I would use this section to elaborate on women being tokens for masculinity and why being raunchy is empowering (example: it’s a repossession of the body or its self-actualized sexual performance) I hope this is helpful good luck!!!!


Hip Hop Bugz: Great start on the page. I think you define raunch aesthetics thoroughly in relating it to the vulgarity and how it's expressed in the art form. It important to point out how it is viewed in today's society since it can be controversial due to the publicity of the form of expression. The point is to be unapologetically bold, and assert ones sexuality as a form of empowerment. It's important to define the difference between the "sex sells" notion and raunch aesthetic differences. In the raunch aesthetics in today's society section maybe be careful to not come off as assuming or having a slight bias (like when mentioning people generally don't like to see people having sex right in front of them). A quote or extra citation would be perfect here to keep personal voice out of it :). Similarly in the Beyonce partition analysis, possibly remove the line about the video being nothing short of a strip show, just since it is a claim that isn't cited! (It would be good to find another source which adds to the claim of the raunch aesthetic of the video/ Beyonce too). There is great assertion of the controversy of overt sexual content in mainstream media and the blurred lines between empowerment/ raunch aesthetics, and how within a similar genre or misinterpretation for degradation, or the over-sexualized female body as an object for the male gaze. Overall really great content and sections. Just adding some more sources and keeping personal voice out are what to add. Great work! -Ella


Electric Soul Six: Your page is looking really great so far! I thought your intro and definition of raunch aesthetics was very concise and effective. You did a great job of using sources to describe what the phrase means. The Raunch in Todays Society section had a lot of good sources and was very well written. I think it sounded a little too opinionated, especially the sentence that says "...in the hyper-sexualized American society, sex sells". For the artists section, I thought you gave some great examples. I would suggest making sub-sections for each artist - I think it will add to the structure of the article. Maybe adding a couple more artists into the mix could be beneficial. If you used Yo! Majesty that would be perfect, because you could just use information on them from the Hernandez piece. The Raunch Aesthetic Empowering section is very well written, but it sounds a bit too opinionated. I think it could benefit from some more sources and you could definitely use the Hernandez piece again to cite this section. I absolutely love the last section! It is well written, straight to the point, and has good sources. Just make sure it does not sound too opinionated. Overall, the article is wonderful. You have a lot of great and informative content and it is very well organized. I would just focus on having a few more sources and making sure the sections don't sound too opinionated. Great job!!!! Janey3597 (talk) 03:21, 20 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Funky Fresh Crew- Nice page so far! This is a great topic to write about. I think that some of the sections could be reworded to sound less argumentative, and more factual. The section about Empowering Women could use more examples. This could be a great place to add photos as well. I would also suggest trying to create a more uniform voice throughout the page. Good work! Saragogo (talk) 15:30, 20 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This page looks super good, my only critique is the very brief mention of classism. It's an important theme when discussing raunch aesthetics, and it seems like it should be explained and discussed in further detail. It seems that it might be helpful to create a new sub-category dedicated solely to classism, instead of just briefly touching upon it. A helpful source could potentially be "Don't patronise ladies who raunch" from the Sydney Morning Herald. [1] Livlane15 (talk) 14:38, 28 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

Verifiability

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@Stephanie Lisset, Caitlinbarrett19, Kimianora, Cmace105, and K00k004puffz: I know this is for a school project (or something similar), but to be honest, this article is not in great shape. Much it reads like an opinion piece. You need to back up these claims with reliable sources. For instance, how do you know that Beyonce is a feminist, and that "uses her sexuality and raunch aesthetics to reinforce her independence as a woman"? This seems like a conclusion we've drawn ourselves, where on an encyclopedia we refer to sources to denote conclusions. Additionally Beyonce is a living person, so writings about her must adhere to our biographies of living persons policy, which basically just means make sure anything controversial is well-sourced. I'm happy to help, but I strongly discourage moving this to the mainspace just yet. I worry you'll run into a bunch of bitey patrollers, and that won't be fun!

So first take some time to improve sourcing. To get my attention here on this talk page, just ping me using the code {{ping|MusikAnimal}}. Thank you, and hopefully you understand I'm here to help, and not make this project any bit harder for you! :) MusikAnimal talk 17:02, 27 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately I'm not sure if Genius.com is an acceptable source. The content and information is fully user-submitted, and thus not reliable. I wouldn't worry too much about sourcing the lyrics themselves; that's not as likely to be challenged, but the conclusions you draw from those lyrics should not be attribited to Genius.com, as that's just other fans making their own conclusions. Verifiability and neutrality are two of our most core policies, and we should do our best to adhere to them. Remember people are going to read this and assume it to be factual, so we need to back up what we say and prove it to be factual. Hopefully that makes sense. Sorry to make this so difficult! MusikAnimal talk 17:12, 27 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]


{{ping|MusikAnimal}} Really unfamiliar with this website but could you tell me how I can edit this page without using 'edit source'? It's making it super difficult to keep track of where I am and the regular 'edit' option is not there. K00k004puffz (talk) 17:34, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Kasey[reply]

@K00k004puffz:, I think you may have misunderstood, you have to paste @MusikAnimal: without the <nowiki> markup or it will not work. You intend to paste {{ping|MusikAnimal}} but you are pasting {{code|<nowiki>{{ping|MusikAnimal}}</nowik i>}} instead. TimothyJosephWood 19:35, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@K00k004puffz: Hi! Unfortunately VisualEditor doesn't work on talk pages :( You're doing just fine though. Just write here and we will respond, and you can ping me like Timothyjosephwood did above. Hope the draft is coming along well, I might be able to help you a little more tonight. Also trying to help with Draft:Latina Stereotypes in Hip Hop. Best MusikAnimal talk 19:40, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I added a citation connected to "sexuality" that directs readers to an article that describes feminist understanding of sexuality. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nicolette321 (talkcontribs) 18:14, 13 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]