Talk:Luke Moore (footballer, born 1988)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:23, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments sorry for the delay:

"Moore comprised part of the" why not just "was part"? Y
"scoring a crucial penalty" one could argue that all penalties in a shoot out are crucial. Y
"Luke Moore is also noted.." no need to repeat his first name. Y
Is Moore really noted "for being a member of the starting XI that played in AFC Wimbledon's inaugural Football League match"? Y
"Luke Moore began his career" no need to repeat his first name. Y
Nothing at all on his personal life? School? Family? Y
"The club's name was subsequently changed to Ebbsfleet United in May 2007[2] after the club agreed a sponsorship deal with Eurostar, whose trains use the nearby Ebbsfleet International station.[3]" not sure of the importance of this to Moore's article. If you deem it absolutely necessary, make it a footnote.Y
"20 January 2007[9]" full stop missing.Y
"on to find the net twice more" not encyclopedic.Y
His first season you talk in some detail about just about every goal he scored, then the second season it's just a brief overview. Be consistent with the level of detail, you've got recentism in reverse!Y
"Moore went on to join newly promoted..." why "went on to join" when "joined" would be more succinct?Y
" 2010-11" en-dash needed.Y
"a brace" not sure this is obvious to non-experts, I think sadly the brace article just directs this back to "two".Y
"was able to score one" what's wrong with "scored one"?Y
Career statistics table is out of step with info box.Y
Ref 1 needs an en-dash. And it's dead.Y
Where is his DoB referenced?Y

I'll put it on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:36, 7 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

As to education and early career development, maybe these might prove helpful. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:26, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Very good of you Struway2, let's see what can be incorporated. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:09, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much Struway2, your links were most helpful and have been incorporated into the article. I believe that all issues raised by the reviewerThe Rambling Man have now been addressed. with kind regards, Jodie25 19:02, 11 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]