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Talk:Kapiʻolani/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Maile66 (talk · contribs) 15:15, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]


I will be doing this review. — Maile (talk) 15:15, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    •  Comment: Queen of Hawaii section. "One of the first acts of the couple was to conduct a royal progress of the Hawaiian Islands." I am not familiar with what "royal progress" means here, and Kuykendall the source has it in quotes as a "royal progress". Do you think it might be a good idea to put it in quotes like the source? Is this a common term for whatever it was they did?
    •  Comment: Medical philanthropy section. "The king and queen officiated at the dedication ceremony" Kalakaua is not mentioned by name anywhere in this section. Do you think this might be a good place to drop his name in?
    •  Comment: Golden Jubilee of Queen Victoria section.
    • "In London, Kapiʻolani and Liliʻuokalani received an official audience with Queen Victoria at Buckingham Palace." Who received whom? Is it possible this is meant to say, "were granted an audience with Queen Victoria ..."? Also the Bayonet Constitution needs some elaboration as to its implications that made them cancel their trip and return home.
    • "In declining health, Kalākaua traveled to California" - there's a 3-year gap between the Golden Jubilee and Kalakaua's death in California. Why is this in the same section? Maybe move the paragraph about Kalakaua's death to the section Death and Funeral (and rename it to include both his and Kapiolani's death).
    •  Comment: Death and Funeral section. Needs clarification on the various government transitions between Liliuokalani's reign and Kapiolani's death. Suggest making the first paragraph a brief recap about the governments in charge. And the second paragraph about Kapiolani's death and funeral.
    •  Comment: Legacy section. Need sourcing that Kapiolani Maternity Home is now Kapiʻolani Medical Center. Also need sourcing for Kapiʻolani Park in Waikīkī .
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    *Queen Kapiolani, photograph by A. A. Montano (PPWD-15-7.024).jpg - Infobox image, PD, source Hawaii State Archives
    *Queen Kapiolani sitting on chair by crown.jpg - PD, source Hawaii State Archives
    *Gibson and Mother Marianne Cope.jpg - PD, source Utah State Historical Society
    *Queen Kapiolani wearing Niihau necklace.jpg - PD, source Bishope Museum
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail: