Talk:Helmsley Building/GA1
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
Opening statement
[edit]Hello, and come what may from this review, thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. During the review, I may make copyedits, which I will limit to spelling correction and minor changes to punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. The Nominator(s) should understand that I am a grammar pedant, and I will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. For responding to my comments, please use 
Done, 
Fixed, 
Added, 
Not done, 
Doing..., or 
Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
Site
[edit]Should include the address here, as it is in the infobox.
Done
The Helmsley Building measures 200 feet (61 m) north-south and 344 feet (105 m) west-east.
This is frontage, yes?- Yes, this is frontage. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
Design
[edit]The Helmsley Building was designed by Warren & Wetmore.
When?- This is more of a passive verb, rather than something that happened at a point in time. Warren & Wetmore were the architects but there's no specific time given for when they designed it. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
There is a clock at the top of the base. The clock has a diameter of 9 feet (2.7 m), and is located 64 feet (20 m) above the ground.
Combine and condense.- Done
winged wheels representing advancement, wheels of progress,
How are these distinct from each other?- The wheels of progress weren't winged wheels. I moved it around. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
The top of the Helmsley Building is a pyramid and capped by an ornate cupola.
Delete the "and" here.- Done
All of "Features" except "Lobby" - and "Forms" for that matter, could very easily fit into the main "Design" section. They would be very relevant there.
Partly done I left the "structural features" section as is, since it was quite long. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
History
[edit][...] but also a great civic centre.
Did the New York Times really use "centre"?- Yes, it did. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
The final plan for the New York Central Building above Park Avenue were not completed [...]
was not completed.- Done
[...] foundational piers [...]
Is there a link that can be added here?- Done
Irving Brodsky of the New York Bank for Savings assumed a 50-year leasehold and renamed it the New York General Building.
When did Brodsky do this?
Added It was in 1958. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
Light shafts and TV screens were also installed, and bronze storefronts were installed.
Two uses of "installed".
Fixed
During the practice,
What practice?- Fixed
GA progress
[edit]Article passes CopyVio with a 35.1% likelihood of violation. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
- @Vami IV: Thanks for the review. I've addressed all of these comments. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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