Talk:Guy Bradley/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Sasata (talk) 17:39, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
Hi, I've signed up for this review. I'll have some comments here in a day or two. Sasata (talk) 17:39, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
Very interesting read. I have a number of suggestions and comments, all relatively minor (and feel free to disagree):
- lead: link egret, conservationists
- "much publicized" needs hypen?
- link Fort Lauderdale House of Refuge
- dab Lake Worth, Palm Beach, DeSoto County
- link superintendent
- "At the time, plume feathers were reportedly more valuable than gold, selling for more than $20 an ounce." unclear—what was $20, feathers or gold?
- how long was the 1,397 bird-killing expedition? (days, weeks…)
- "were being killed for millinery purposes" last two words sound awkward to me
- link Florida Coast Line and Transportation Company
- "Guy and his brother, who continued working as guides and hunters, each received a quarter of a mile of land in Flamingo as his own." I'm not sure why or from whom they received this land, was it a gift from their father?
- acronym AOU not defined
- "vice president" hyphenated?
- how long (#'s) was the area Guy had to patrol?
- link herons, spoonbills and ibis
- plume hunting hyphenated?
- "By 1904, Audubon had 34 wardens employed in ten states." Is Audubon the national organization (in contrast to the state Audubon of the last section)? Link?
- "After accepting the position as game warden, however, Bradley had become a vilified figure in southern Florida" I'm not convinced that "had become" is better than "became" here.
- "His body was never found and the perpetrators were not caught." If his body was never found, how do they know he was killed (and by poachers?)
- not all listed sources give states in the location, and there is a mix of 2- and 3-letter state abbreviations
—Preceding unsigned comment added by Sasata (talk • contribs) 01:25, July 15, 2010
Thanks for making the changes, I've suggested a couple of links above. The article certainly meets all GA criteria and I'm promoting it now. Sasata (talk) 15:49, 15 July 2010 (UTC)