Talk:Grey's Anatomy season 17/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 21:09, 16 August 2021 (UTC)
Hey, I'll be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 21:09, 16 August 2021 (UTC)
Lead – Cast and characters
[edit]- Move the short description to the top of the article (MOS:ORDER).
- Improve the film's non-free use rationale with this template.
- After doing that, add WP:ALT text to every image in this article.
- "only having" – reword the structure of the sentence this is in
- Also reword the phrase "across very areas" in the lead.
- Add a hyphen between "most watched".
- "from cast" → "from the cast"
- Every episode descriptions passes MOS:TVPLOT.
- Why do only some cast members have references?
Production
[edit]- Development
- "multiyear deal" → "multi-year deal"
- Variety should be in italics (MOS:ITALICWEBSITE).
- Add a comma after "the spread of the coronavirus".
- The reference after "from gathering" is a repost of Variety
- "all cast and crew" → "all the cast and crew" or "all cast and crew members"
- "Vernoff also said that face masks were worn by all cast and crew while not filming including between takes and during rehearsals, speaking was not allowed in the hair and makeup trailer, cast carried their own makeup bags to do their own last-minute touch-ups, and that different camera lenses were used to make people standing far apart appear closer together" – this sentence is a bit long. I would suggest using colons.
- "In addition, cast and crew" → "In addition, the cast and crew"
- Deadline Hollywood should be in italics.
- "president" should be capitalized for job titles.
- Casting
- "in July 2020 keeping them" → "in July 2020, keeping them" or "in July 2020 that kept them"
- Add a comma after "to return for the season".
- Add a hyphen between "highest paid".
- "in the previous season" – remove link
- "Patrick Dempsey's return to the series after a five-year absence was a major aspect of the season" – source within this section?
- Add a comma after "their return".
- Don't start sentences with "Because".
- Supergirl should be in italics.
- "Leigh was not able to travel to Los Angeles where the series films; Leigh filmed her scenes in Canada where she was filming Supergirl at the time" - this is kinda wordy
- "Giacomo Gianniotti who portrayed Dr. Andrew DeLuca exited the series as a main character after being killed off in "Helplessly Hoping" although he later appeared in two other episodes as a vision to Kim Raver's Dr. Teddy Altman." – run on sentence
- Add a comma after "As part of his departure".
- "Williams character" → "Williams' character"
- Link the first mention of Station 19, not the second.
- Link the first mention of spin-off, not the second.
- Add a comma after "In addition".
- "Meliisa DuPrey" – typo
- "Lisa Vidal and Melissa DuPrey as part of Grey Sloan's new intern class portraying a mother-daughter pair named Alma and Sara Ortiz." – rephrase
- Writing
- "Krista Vernoff, the showrunner of both Grey's Anatomy and Station 19, initially considered beginning the season prior to the pandemic or not including it at all but ultimately decided to begin it in the peak of it" – also kinda wordy
- Are both quote blocks in #Writing necessary?
- "To properly tell the story pandemic" – reword
- Add a comma before "the writers opted".
- "A medical doctor who serves as a consultant, writer, and executive producer on the series and previously worked for the Center for Disease Control said that the goal of the season was to accurately show the infection rate and transfer of COVID-19." – why does this sentence never mention Zoanne Clack?
- "Dr. Andrew DeLuca,was" → "Dr. Andrew DeLuca, was"
- "Giacomo Gianniotti's character, Dr. Andrew DeLuca, was killed off in the season during a fictional crossover event with spin-off series Station 19." – WP:OVERLINK
- "The most notable of these, wraps up the story" – rephrase
- Does "stabbing" need to be linked? It's self-explanatory.
- "include a character death however, plans" → "include a character death. However, these plans"
- "and be functional on the other side" – rephrase
- "and explaining that while he was in the hospital with the coronavirus that he had six roommates and was the only white person" – Is this sentence necessary?
Release and reception
[edit]- Add a comma after "2020–2021 broadcast television season".
- Follow MOS:TIME when listing clock times.
- "The second episode of the season aired outside its regular time slot at 10 PM EST" – this needs a source
- "seasons seventh episode" → "season's seventh episode"
- "began broadcasting at 9:25 PM EST" – this also needs a source
- "The season finale officially concluded airing on June 3." – rephrase
- "Canda" and "seventten episodes" – typos
- Add a WP:DATECOMMA after July 3, 2021.
- Add a comma after "Outside of the United States".
- Optional, but I prefer creating cite bundles when citing three or more references ([105][106][107] → [105]).
- There is no average rating on Rotten Tomatoes...
- Ani Bundel with NBC Think stated that "True to form, Season 17 features one of the most coronavirus-centric TV plots we've seen since studios started filming again." – that's not a review, that's an observation. Out of their entire review, I'm sure you can find more criticism/praise than that.
- Add a comma after "both dead and alive".
- Rotten Tomatoes has three additional reviews that haven't been used yet.
- Add a hyphen between "most watched".
- Add a comma after "In Live+7 ratings".
- The first-day viewers for the premiere should be 5.96 million, not 5.93.
- The third episode should also be updated to 5.99 million, not 5.96.
References
[edit]- Check for WP:ALLCAPS, WP:CURLY, and WP:QWQ.
- #1 is missing an author and website.
- Wikilink Mitch Metcalf in #5 and #15.
- Deadline → Deadline Hollywood (#21)
- #72 (after "previous seasons") is missing a website.
- #74 (after "early in the season") is missing an author.
- Is the "EW Staff" credit in #76 necessary?
- Vulture should link to Vulture (website) not Vulture (magazine).
- The Wrap → TheWrap
- Cinema Blend → CinemaBlend
- "Porter, rick" → "Porter, Rick" (#116)
- Mark references from Chicago Sun Times with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Vanity Fair with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Vulture with "|url-access=limited".
Progress
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@Some Dude From North Carolina: Just a quick progress update since GAN's are usually only on hold for seven days: I've fixed most of the issues you've brought up, mostly all I have left to address is some of the technical details like moving the short description, adding alt descriptions, and the first point brought up in the references section. A new semester started for me Monday (and I'm roughly taking 18 credit hours) so just asking for a few more days while I find time to finish up these comments. Thanks! TheDoctorWho (talk) 03:39, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- @TheDoctorWho: Take all the time you need. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 11:36, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: Alright, sorry it has taken me so long but I think that everything has been addressed. Please let me know if I missed anything, I went a bit out of order at times so some of the smaller things may have gotten lost. I personally did think that both quote blocks in the writing section were useful because they both relate to things that are discussed extensively within the section. Thanks, TheDoctorWho (talk) 05:07, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @TheDoctorWho: Thanks for the update. I have looked over the entire article again and have tagged two sentences in #Broadcast that need citations. After that, send me another message and I will pass the article. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 14:08, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: Added sources for both of those, appreciate you taking the time to review this article! TheDoctorWho Public (talk) 17:17, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @TheDoctorWho: Thanks for the quick response. Passing the article. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:26, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: Added sources for both of those, appreciate you taking the time to review this article! TheDoctorWho Public (talk) 17:17, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @TheDoctorWho: Thanks for the update. I have looked over the entire article again and have tagged two sentences in #Broadcast that need citations. After that, send me another message and I will pass the article. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 14:08, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: Alright, sorry it has taken me so long but I think that everything has been addressed. Please let me know if I missed anything, I went a bit out of order at times so some of the smaller things may have gotten lost. I personally did think that both quote blocks in the writing section were useful because they both relate to things that are discussed extensively within the section. Thanks, TheDoctorWho (talk) 05:07, 29 August 2021 (UTC)