Talk:Fluvidona anodonta/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 16:16, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to review the article.

Review

Lead section / infobox

Link Charles Hedley; Queensland; habitat; habitat fragmentation; vulnerable species.
or more commonly known as the North Pine River freshwater snail – improve the prose by putting this in brackets.
In the text, 'The naturalists Charles Hedley and Charles Tucker Musson', not Hedley & Musson.
is highly elusive and only can be omitted, as this is evident from the rest of the sentence.
Convert 2 mm and 1 mm (e.g. with {{convert|2|mm}}.
of a yellow-whiteish shade – make the text more concise by amending to ‘yellow-whitish'.
Replace Queensland. The four river systems are the to ‘Queensland: the'.
I would add a comma after imposed threats.
species specific is hyphenated.
I would include (either in the lead or in the main body) the original 1890s drawing, which is available at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:P._anodonta_(Fluvidona_anodonta).jpg

More comments to follow. I will ~~cross any comments out~~ when you let me know you have addressed them, and ad a small red cross (N) if I think an issue has still not been resolved. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:11, 12 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

1 Discovery

discovered by Hedley & Musson – ‘discovered by the naturalists Charles Hedley (linked) & Charles Tucker Musson (red linked)’.(cite names using https://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/hedley-charles-6628 and https://conchology.be/index.php?t=9001&id=25627)
“North Pine River Freshwater Snail” – why is this enclosed in quote marks when it isn’t in quotes in the lead?
Only the first sentence is about the snail’s discovery. Surely the remaining sentences need to be moved out of this section and placed elsewhere.
Sampling – am I correct in thinking this could be linked to Sampling (statistics)?
Southeast Queensland - 'South East Queensland' (linked).
Since then, scientists have only seen the snail four times – the lead says its has been sighted four times since its discovery, though, which doesn’t quite seem to be the same thing.
Link North Pine River.
the Fluvidona anodonta snail - 'Fluvidona anodonta'.

More to follow, but this is starting to look like a big job. Please ping me to confirm you are happy to deal with potentially a lot more comments before i proceed. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:59, 13 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2 Shape

Link spire (Spire (mollusc)); whorl (Whorl (biology)); dextral (Sinistral and dextral).
The title could do with being amended to ‘Description’, as the paragraph describes much more than the snail’s shape.
The North Pine River freshwater snail – it might it be simpler to refer it as Fluvidona anodonta throughout.
Convert the measurements as in the lead section.
Seam and pupiform could both do with explanations.
Amend 4 to ‘four’.
The last sentence requires a citation.

Conclusion

I've changed my mind about continuing with the review. Each paragraph is generating too many issues for it to be considered as a GAN at this stage, so I'm going to fail it. If you or anyone else wants to re-nominate the article, the comments in this review will need to be addressed to avoid to being failed again. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:36, 13 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]