Talk:Florence E. Allen/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 00:41, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:41, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs.
One external link (http://www.law.stanford.edu/library/wlhbp/papers/flo.html#firsts Florence Ellinwood Allen) resolves to the project's main page.
Images appropriately licensed.
Lede is too short. At least one full paragraph needs to be added.
The early life para is too long and needs to be broken into several smaller paragraphs.
Any details on what injury derailed her musical plans?
Is the New Lyme Institute notable? If so link it.
Link on first use: bar, suffrage, Legal Aid Society, Women's Suffrage Party, Susan B. Anthony, Anna Howard Shaw, women's rights, typewriter, disarmament, world peace, prosecuting attorney
And the belief that women should be treated as equals under the law undoubtedly resonated with her even more as a result of her struggles to be taken seriously as an attorney. She became even more interested in politics, and more committed to the cause of women's suffrage. She was active in the Women's Suffrage Party and began challenging local laws that limited women's participation in the political process. And she argued one particular case that went all the way to the Ohio Supreme Court: thanks to her efforts, she won the women of East Cleveland the right to vote in municipal elections. Is this a paraphrase from your source? If so, it needs to be put more neutrally and rewritten to take out the style of the time.
For Allen, this was personal: both substitute "as" for the colon
Democratic party Watch your capitalization on these proper nouns.
More later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:01, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Failed for lack of response.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:48, 8 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]