Talk:Félix Delahaye/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: AGK [•] 22:55, 30 January 2011 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- The prose is poorly written in one key area: the use of commas. For instance:
"With Thouin’s nomination Delahaye joined a team of more than ten scientists, engineers and artists (referred to as “savants”) in the position of gardener" - this should be,
"With Thouin’s nomination, Delahaye joined a team of more than ten scientists, engineers and artists (referred to as “savants”)
in the position ofas a gardener."(Okay, so the stricken bit is a prose improvement, not a problem with the commas:P.) Failing to use the comma properly means that sentences run on too long, which is so distracting for the reader as to make the article difficult to follow. GAs don't have to be perfect, but this problem would not be acceptable even in a stub.
Additionally, the titles of the section headers seem overly lengthy to me, but this is not so major a problem at GA level.
Prose meets our policies on presentation and style.
- The prose is poorly written in one key area: the use of commas. For instance:
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Images selected are engaging and properly licensed; but they're too big! Some of them take up half of the page on my monitor. This crushes the text and makes the article appear ugly.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- The prose is not up to much. This is a French topic so my first guess is that the nominator and/or primary author/s are French and do not have English as their first language. The article is off to a great start and I don't want to kill it at GAN just because the authors are a bit weak on the comma so I'm putting this on hold and inviting the nominator to improve the prose (and preferably put this up for a copyedit).
Much better! Still not quite perfect, but certainly satisfactory relative to what we expect of a good article. I've done some minor copy-edits myself, whilst reviewing the article.
- The prose is not up to much. This is a French topic so my first guess is that the nominator and/or primary author/s are French and do not have English as their first language. The article is off to a great start and I don't want to kill it at GAN just because the authors are a bit weak on the comma so I'm putting this on hold and inviting the nominator to improve the prose (and preferably put this up for a copyedit).
- Pass/Fail:
Current status: GA review on hold. AGK [•] 22:55, 30 January 2011 (UTC)
- I have now done a copyedit of the whole article.Granitethighs 10:10, 2 February 2011 (UTC)