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Talk:Erin Phillips/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 10:56, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Picking this one up. Review to follow. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
Comments

Not much to say here. I think the article is fine as it is, and hope to see it at FAC. I have some typos and what not :

  • Trophy as a member of the under-16s championship team in 1999.[9][10] Phillips was also a member of the South Australia under-20s championship team in 2004 You don't need the s after the numerals here.
  • Link Lotos Gydnia to Arka Gdynia (women's basketball) in the infobox (It's already linked in the article.)
  • They lost both of their finals to the Dandenong Rangers and the Canberra Capitals This is awkward. Consider rephrasing. Suggest something like: "They lost both their finals; the semifinal to the Dandenong Rangers, and then the preliminary final to the Canberra Capitals".
  • Suggest splitting the paragraph after footnote 19
  • Phillips ranks in the top ten all-time for the Adelaide Lightning Suggest adding <nowiki>As of 2019
  • However, Phillips never played for the team due to injury and the franchise dissolved at the end of their first season due to financial difficulties.[21] Phillips ranks in the top ten all-time for the Adelaide Lightning in points Replace Phillips with "she" here.
  • Eastern Conference Semifinals I don't think the S needs to be capitalised
  • Phillps scored at least 10 points You misspelt her name here.
  • Seven years later, Phillips had planned to return to the WNBL for the 2015–16 season. Tense is out of whack here. Delete "had".
  • Australia women's national basketball team, the Opals, "Australian"
  • Australia finished as silver medalists Spelling error: should be "medallists"
  • She decided to play the full season because she thought it was better preparation and she wanted to honor her contract with the Indiana Fever "honour"
  • Opals's should be "Opals'" since it is plural.
    • Fixed. That's what happens when you write too many articles on people whose last names end in 's'. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:59, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • defense "defence"
  • Western Bulldogs's Again, the s is not needed here.
  • Phillips struggled with a right quad injury Link quad to Quadriceps tendon?
  • Adelaide lost both of the those games without Phillips to Brisbane and Melbourne. Suggest " Adelaide lost both of the those games without Phillips, to Brisbane and Melbourne respectively."
  • After Round 6, the AFLW cancelled the remainder of the home-and-away season in favor of starting the finals early "favour"
  • She also made the All-Australian team for the second time You didn't mention the first time in the 2017 section.
    . Feel free to ignore. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:49, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Hawkeye7! Especially for the Australian English conversions. My original plan was to take this to FAC, but I wasn't sure about the quality of sources available. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 03:17, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The sources look fine to me. I have some minor bits about them:
  • I have made some fixes to the references. The main one is where "Australian Broadcasting Company" was used instead of "Australian Broadcasting Corporation". (aka Auntie ABC) Also for some reason, the Adelaide Advertiser, the main newspaper of Adelaide was "Adelaide Now". I tweaked the references so they are the way that the FAC likes them (ducks for cover). I had a decision to make as to whether to file Phillips under basketball or football. In the end I chose football. (Did you see the episode of Open Mike where where Mike Sheahan and Kate Sheehan interviewed Greg Phillips and Erin together?) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:04, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]