Talk:Cyclone Hyacinthe/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hylian Auree (talk · contribs) 16:42, 14 April 2013 (UTC)

It's been a while since I took on GA reviewing. I'll try to get this up asap! Auree ^★★ 16:42, 14 April 2013 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice,fiction, and lists):

The prose seems mostly clear and to-the-point, with just a few kinks to work out here and there

• What is Météo-France? You mention it quite abruptly in the lead, which I imagine could put some laymen readers off. I know it's wiki-linked, but having to go into further reading this early on is rather unappealing.

• Added a note. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• After turning southward, Hyacinthe became extratropical on January 29 and dissipated two days later. Technically, since its extratropical remnants recurved eastward before dissipating, maybe rephrase to "Hyacinthe became extratropical on January 29 after turning southward, dissipating two days later." or something?

• • I like it! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• spawning a small circulation ... What kind of circulation? Way too broad of a term imo. Adding something like "cyclonic", "wind", "atmospheric", etc. would help clarify a lot.

• Changed to low-level circulation. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• On January 15, a tropical depression formed about 355 km (220 mi) northeast of Mauritius, according to Météo-France (MFR) → "According to Météo-France (MFR), a tropical depression formed along the disturbance on January 15, about 355 km (220 mi) northeast of Mauritius." More info and cleared syntax. You could also use "system" or "low pressure" instead of disturbance if it sounds better, and the choice of words with "along" could also be rejigged.

• Rejiggered. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• 1 minute winds → "1-minute sustained winds"

• Tweaked both instances of minute winds. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• It turned to the northwest to a strengthening anticyclone to the south,[1] and on January 20 the storm executed a small loop to the south just off eastern Madagascar. It moved across the offshore Île Sainte-Marie. This entire part is pretty sloppily worded. Could be refined.

• I removed the island bit (which wasn't backed up by source) and moved stuff around. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• Later on you write "While moving to the south, Hyacinthe steadily weakened", but that's not much different from what's stated in the previous two sentences.

• Tweaked beginning of paragraph. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• just shy of the record set by Cyclone Denise in 1966. Could we include how many inches it was shy?

• Added. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• The village of Hell-Bourg was isolated for about eight days, and two other villages were temporarily isolated. Anyway to avoid using "isolated" twice?

• Yep. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

• Four of the deaths occurred after a house was washed away at Petite-Île, and family was killed at Grand Ilet. The way it's worded right now almost makes it seem as though the four deaths occurred in the family, residing in the house that was washed away, though since you mention two different locations I assume that's not the case.

• Yea, I removed that last bit. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

That's it for the prose, so far. I'll be doing a spotcheck of some sources soon. Auree ^★★ 00:55, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

MoS check – looks mostly fine, no overlinking, dab- or dead links detected

• I'm not sure the article you wiki-linked "low-level circulation" to is what you're going for, as it more so discusses synoptic atmospheric air flow. Maybe link to Tropical cyclone#Physical structure instead?
• The way you wiki-linked just "rainfall records" to List of wettest tropical cyclones by country is a bit weird. I think we could do without the wiki-link since you have a link to that article in the See also section.

1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

• A little concerned about how much info is being extracted solely from the cyclone's best tracks, but it's understandable with how little coverage there is on it. I'm no expert on this, however, and I assume other older Indian Ocean storm articles are produced in a similar fashion.Auree ^★★ 01:00, 23 April 2013 (UTC)

1. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

• Pretty comprehensive, a shame there's not more about the preparations and Madagascar impact.

1. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

2. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

3. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

4. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: