Jump to content

Talk:Conspiracy (Star Trek: The Next Generation)/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 01:44, 4 November 2012 (UTC) I'm going to try to review this in the next few days. I vaguely remember this episode, mainly because of that image. It's really nice to see Star Trek getting some attention around here. Glimmer721 talk 01:44, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • The caption for the image could include that it was such graphic scenes that made the episode controversial.
  • "...it was decided to broadcast it uncut." Either "it was decided to be broadcast uncut" or "they decided to broadcast it uncut".
  • The lead could include little bit more production information, such as origins of the concept or the effects.
  • "Once arrived at Dytallix B" → "Once they arrive at Dytallix B"
  • "...the crew discover the Horatio and two other Federation ships, but they are unresponsive to their hails." Clarify the pronouns: the first "they" should clearly refer to the ships, while the second should refer to the crew.
  • "He reports strange orders and events from Starfleet Headquarters, and expresses concern of a conspiracy." Is "he" referring to Picard or Keel? (I assume the latter, but because Picard was the subject of the previous sentence I original thought it was him. Also, I'm going to apologize for pronoun/antecedent quibbles - I was recently studying those rules.)
  • "Quinn requests to beam aboard the Enterprise for a tour, upon his arrival Picard discusses matters with him and comes to believe that he is an impostor – warning Riker of this." I'm not quite sure what the "warning Riker of this" means. It might just be better if it is simply "and Picard warns Riker of this".
  • "A bowl of living larvae is served at the meal, Picard attempts to escape, only to find Riker blocking his way." There should be an "and" or other conjunction before "Picard".
  • I don't think "one-by-one" needs to have the hyphens. There should be a comma after it also.
  • "One of the parasites scurries under a closed door, Picard and Riker follow it." An "and" is needed here too.
  • "Dr. Crusher reports that the other parasites, including that in Quinn" Either "the one" or "those", depending on the number
  • Was it only the original version that was based on the Iran-Contra affair? The source doesn't specify. Also, that part of the sentence seems tacked-on.
  • "Star Trek movies" → "Star Trek movies"
  • "series 2" → "season 2" (American)
  • "The parasites themselves were created by Makeup & Effects Laboratories from a design by Rick Sternbach." This sentence seems like it would fit better in the previous paragraph where the parasites were discussed.
  • What about U.S. broadcast data? Especially the date.
  • Tor.com's ratings are actually out of 10, not 5.
  • "Zack Handlen reviewed the episode for the A.V. Club, who thought that while he thought it..." → "Zack Handlen, who reviewed the episode for The A.V. Club, thought that while it was a "hard episode to forget," it..."
  • "He thought that certain parts of the plot was "idiotic", and that the Admirals reminded him of a "Bond villain convention" → "He thought that certain parts of the plot were "idiotic", and the Admirals reminded him..."
  • "It" shows up a lot in the reception section - sometimes it could be changed to "Conspiracy"
  • Like Data, watch the contractions. I spot "didn't", "wasn't", and "doesn't". (The latter should also be "did not".)
  • All the book references have a colon instead of an end parenthesis.
  • For some reason Ref #2 has the published date italicized and after the title as if it is the publisher.

Okay, I definitely remember this episode now, with the bumps in the backs of their necks and the worms. I need to catch up with the episodes I didn't see. Anyway, the article is good, just some copy-editing issues. On hold for 7 days. Glimmer721 talk 23:04, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • I think I've rectified the issues raised. Big thanks for the review, btw. As for the US ratings - I'm having a hard time finding them as the show was in syndication (that and late 80's ratings are just a bit hard to find on the web). I checked the sources used for the recent Twin Peaks expansions and they don't include 1988 (and in fact the later years don't include TNG). Only website I've been able to find with the ratings lists is here, but I don't consider it to be a reliable source. Miyagawa (talk) 20:20, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I understand the rating issue, especially concerning the syndication. One thing I did fail to mention is that ref #2 doesn't quite support the statement "but was later aired on BBC Two in an edited form". I can see "chopped" = "edited", but the source doesn't mention that it was BBC Two. I've tried to find evidence of the show being aired on BBC Two and came up with this, although it only has the broadcast info of 2007-08 seasons 3-7 reruns. Glimmer721 talk 02:11, 6 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ooops! That's a bit of original research sneaking in without even thinking about it. Having watched it at the age of 10 during the first run on BBC Two I hadn't even thought about it twice. I'll find a source to support or I'll remove the remark. The BBC only ever showed Star Trek on BBC Two as far as I'm aware. But I'll find a proper reference for it. Miyagawa (talk) 13:12, 6 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Conspiracy_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)/GA1&oldid=1085911625"