Talk:Christmas Queens 2/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:29, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

We had discussed the prospect of me potentially reviewing one of your articles this winter in the past; I will now do it! --K. Peake 17:29, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Thank you! ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:33, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Recording date is not sourced anywhere in the body
  • I don't even remember adding 2016 to the infobox. I have no idea when the album was recorded so  Removed ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:50, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target holiday to Holiday music
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• "by various artists, released by" → "by various artists. It was released by" since the opening para is currently too short at only two sentences
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• "The 30-track album is a sequel" → "Consisting of 30 tracks, the album is a sequel"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• Add release year of Christmas Queens in brackets
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• "contestants as well as" → "contestants alongside"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• "for "Working Holiday" featuring" → "for "Working Holiday", which features"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• "and Manila Luzon, a web series called" → "and Manila Luzon. A web series was released for it, titled"
  • But doing this makes the second sentence grammatically incorrect. See below comment. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 22:04, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

• That is reasonable, but still change "called" to "titled" in the above manner though. --K. Peake 09:25, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

•  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:27, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• "and a tour with December shows" → "and a tour by various artists with December 2016 shows"
  • I implemented your preferred wording here but kept a single sentence instead of splitting into 2, in order to keep the text grammatically correct. Does this work for you? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• Why are the countries not ordered alphabetically?
  • They are ordered chronologically. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
• You should add a sentence after this one about the album's critical reception, writing: "Christmas Queens 2 received..."
  • I just added "received a mixed critical reception" ahead and the chart placement claim because there aren't really overarching opinions, I would say. Critics more or less said things they liked and didn't like about individual performers, more than provide commentary on the album as a whole. Would you agree? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 22:04, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

• Yes, it is fine to not give an overview when it is extremely hard to. --K. Peake 17:00, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• "Christmas Queens 2 reached a peak position of number two" → "It peaked at number two"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 21:57, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

• You still need to change to "peaked at" to be less wordy. --K. Peake 09:25, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

•  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:27, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Composition

• "The 30-track compilation features" → "Christmas Queens 2 is a 30-track compilation album that features"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "performing collectively as the" → "who perform collectively as the"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "material[2] "tailored to" → "material,[2] "tailored to"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Wikilink traditional folk per MOS:LINK2SECT
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Bossa Nova should not have the target on when it is part of the song title
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Add "on Christmas Queens 2." at the end of the sentence paid reference to above since it is the start of a new para
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "precedes Sharon Needles's" → "precedes Sharon Needles'"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Wikilink disco
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• ""O Holy Night" (featuring Thorgy Thor on violin) is followed by Ivy Winters on" → ""O Holy Night", which features featuring Thorgy Thor on violin, is followed by Ivy Winters performing"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "runs approximately one hour long" → "runs for approximately one hour"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Release and promotion

• "The album was released by" → "Christmas Queens 2 was released by"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Add the appropriate citation(s) at the end of the second sentence
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "debuted on Billboard on November 25." → "debuted through Billboard on November 25, 2016."
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target Santa to Santa Claus
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "Glenn Garner said," → "Glenn Garner said of the video," to be specific
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Wikilink hoarse voice
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "The web series Christmas Queens was announced in early November;" → "A web series for Christmas Queens 2 entitled Christmas Queens was announced in early November 2016;"
  • Done, except I left out "for Christmas Queens 2" because I'm not certain the series is specific to this album. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:52, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Tour and live performances

• "performed in a" → "performed on the album's"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "from December 3–8." → "from December 3–8, 2016." or something similar if this reads awkwardly
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "Shows were later" → "Shows for the tour were later"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "who also described" → "who also analyzed"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Mention the release year of "All I Want for Christmas Is You"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target skivvies to Undergarment
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "and assless chaps he called" → "and assless chaps which he called"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "(described as" → "that was described as"
  • I think the parenthetical is better here, otherwise the sentences becomes a bit of a run-on and hard to follow. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "smokes pot") as well as" → "smokes pot" as well as"
  • I think the parenthetical is better here, otherwise the sentences becomes a bit of a run-on and hard to follow. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "He wrote," → "He wrote that"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Wikilink kitschy
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target minimal to Minimal music
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "from both Christmas Queens albums in" → "from the first two Christmas Queens albums for" since you have mentioned all three of them earlier in this section
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "November and December 2016." → "November and December of 2016."
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Should "A Royal Holiday" really have speech marks around it?
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:06, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Reception and chart history

• Retitle to Reception, as that can refer to both critical and commercial reception comfortably
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "Joe Lynch of Billboard wrote," → "Lynch wrote of Christmas Queens 2,"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "which he said was" → "which he said is"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target synth to Synthesizer
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "Sean Maunier of Metro Weekly called the compilation" → "Maunier called the compilation"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• The img of Thorgy Thor should be at the top of this section because it will be closer to the tour with that positioning
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Wikilink ode
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "with some songs that" → "noting that some songs"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "some of the interludes" → "a number of the interludes" to avoid repetitive wording
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "He thought that Jackie Beat" → "He thought Jackie Beat"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target dance to Dance music
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "funny attitude". He then summarized" → "funny attitude", before summarizing"
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• "matching the performance of the original Christmas Queens." → "matching the debut and peak of its prequel."
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:12, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Track listing

• Use hlist to separate artists when there are multiple ones for a song, rather than commas
  • Why? Wikipedia:WikiProject_Albums/Album_article_style_advice#Track_listing doesn't suggest this... ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:40, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• Oh, my bad; I was just used to seeing things the way I suggested but you needn't change the track listing then. --K. Peake 17:00, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Charts

• See MOS:TABLECAPTION
  • I'm not sure what's needed here. I'm looking at the GAs on your profile page and I'm not seeing a difference. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:14, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• You should add a caption saying "Chart performance for Christmas Queens 2. --K. Peake 17:00, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Kyle Peake,  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• US Comedy Albums → US Comedy Albums (Billboard)
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:38, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• The ref should be next to the chart's name rather than having its own column
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:38, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

References

• Copyvio score is too high at 58,6%; fix quoting from the refs to reduce this
  • Hmmm, the only extended quotes are the two in the "Reception" section, which I'm reluctant to trim because they are the best commentary about the album as a whole as opposed to individual performances. Is trimming required if the quotes are appropriately attributed, given proper weight, and otherwise integrated nicely within the article overall? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:58, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• See WP:OVERQUOTE: "the total amount of text should be kept to a minimum." --K. Peake 17:00, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Kyle Peake, Better? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:43, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

• Great job on archiving all of these!
  • Thanks! ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Target NewNowNext to Logo TV on ref 1 and remove the publisher
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Remove the publisher from ref 2
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Remove the publisher from ref 9
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Remove the publisher from ref 10
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
• Remove the publisher from ref 13
  •  Done ---Another Believer _(Talk) 15:36, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until you have fixed the issues, but I definitely have faith in you to do so. Was great to review one of your articles for the first time since the summer; one thing I did notice was how great the addition of images was throughout! --K. Peake 09:25, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Kyle Peake, Thanks for reviewing. Done with Round 1 of addressing your concerns. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 16:33, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Another Believer Very timely response, but I replied where things still need covering! --K. Peake 17:00, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Kyle Peake, Have another look? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:44, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Another Believer ✓ Pass now after I took another look and did some minor copy editing to add some moderate finishing touches, congrats on this GA and I heavily applaud not just your response time but how you address the comments in such a constructive manner! --K. Peake 18:46, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

  Kyle Peake, Thanks so much! ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:47, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.