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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:2014 Italian Grand Prix/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 14:15, 18 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:15, 18 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll copyedit as I go through; please revert any mistakes.

  • both drivers were obligated the interests of the entire team: looks like a missing word?
  • Hamilton said his objective for the Monza weekend was to regain some of the lost ground in the Drivers' Championship and would not cede the challenge: same again; perhaps "and that he would not"?
  • no space was available to feign an passing manoeuvre: "feign" means to pretend to do or be something; I assume that's not the intended meaning here. How about "attempt"?
  • Magnussen feigned a passing manoeuvre: same again; and there's another use further down.
  • to remain at least two and a half seconds behind teammate Rosberg to gain the slipstream advantage without losing downforce: I don't follow the reference to slipstream advantage. I assume slipstream advantage is essentially drafting? Two and a half seconds is too far back to gain any drafting benefit. What am I missing?
  • and in his attempt to conserve his rear tyre life by moving his brake bias towards the front of his car, he compromised his brakes as a result: "in his attempt" is redundant with "as a result"; I'd cut the latter.
  • with Vettel defending fifth place but was slow leaving the turn: I don't know who was slow leaving the turn: Vettel or Ricciardo?
  • Why was Rosberg booed? From the following paragraphs I'm guessing it was because fans thought he deliberately let Hamilton past him. Or do the sources not say why he was booed?
  • stated the transmission of pit-to-car radio about Hamilton reducing his pace to conserve tyre life for a late race attack did not indicate the whole perception: I don't understand this.
  • prompting to Alonso reduce his speed which at that point his car problem emerged: "which at that point" needs reworking; this isn't grammatical.

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:49, 18 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Just one use of "feign" left to change; everything else looks good. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:00, 19 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Mike Christie: Your final point has been addressed. MWright96 (talk) 13:47, 19 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good; promoting. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:56, 19 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]