Talk:1916 Pioneer Exhibition Game/GA2

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 02:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Picking this one up. Review to follow. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

General

Remove the hard-coded image sizes. MOS:IMGSIZE: Except with very good reason, a fixed width in pixels (e.g. 17px) should not be specified.
- RESPONSE: w.r.t. image size . . . In each case the image size was either specifically chosen to match the layout of the wording in the image-associated caption, or it was specifically chosen so that the size of the particular image in question matched that of similar image(s) in close proximity; thus, at the moment, and for these reasons, the image sizes remain unchanged. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  What you're forgetting is that this will vary considerably depending on the size of the screen and that the reader is using, which could vary from a mobile phone to a massive 36-inch monitor. Fixing the image size overrides the reader's own preferences. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:32, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Remove fn 1. The lead is just a summary of the article.
I don't think the second paragraph belongs in the lead, since it is likely a coincidence.
- RESPONSE: done. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Origin

Link First Australian Imperial Force and it has no "s"
"at Salisbury Plain" Link Salisbury Plain. And it should be "on the Salisbury Plain", not at. We're talking about the military reservation in The UK that contains the camps (Larkhill , Tidworth, Perham Down) where the 3rd Division was training.
Link Frank Beaurepaire, Tidworth, Larkhill, Horseferry Road
You and I know that Horseferry Road was where AIF HQ was, but the reader may not know that
Not found of the years next to the names of people. The readers can click on the links for this.
"As Richardson observes (2016, pp.286-287)," Omit this clause.
To link to Commons use this form: File:AIF_Cricket_XI_(AWM_D00685).jpg
- RESPONSE: All done – except in the case of the "link to Commons"; because, if I code the entry as you have suggested, rather than a "link" to the photograph in question appearing in the text, the actual image stored in Commons appears. This was not my intention; and it is not what I want to communicate. Is there a way in which the linkage to the Commons-stored image ONLY can be coded, so that the reader is sent to the Commons page -- rather than, that is, having the image automatically inserting into the text? Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  Yes, there is. The colon in front of "File" prevents this (as I did above). ie [[:File:AIF_Cricket_XI_(AWM_D00685).jpg]] Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:32, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Planning

"to be responsible for the (still intact) 3rd Division, and Lieutenant H. Bartram of the 2nd Brigade,[14] to be responsible for the (fragmented) 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th Divisions." I'm the expert on the First AIF, and I have no idea what you mean by "still intact" and "fragmented". The 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th Divisions were on the Western Front.
- RESPONSE: done. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The official programme

References required for the paragraphs in this section.
"as at June 2022" Use the {{As of}} template here.
Delete the "AASC"
References required for Ruby Lind and Dan Lindsay
- RESPONSE: As directed, I have changed "(as at June 2022)" to "(as of June 2022)" in the text. I have not been able to use the template because it does not permit "as of . . . ", but demands "As of . . . ".
  w.r.t "AASC" . . . If you look at the bottom right-hand corner of the sketch at page 10 of the programme, you will note that Daryl Lindsay’s work is signed "Dan Lindsay A.A.S.C."
  I believe that the "reference" issue with Ruby Lind and Dan Lindsay (both of which are noms de guerre of the individuals concerned) is now resolved – otherwise, the only way around the issue is to remove the linkages from "Ruby Lind" and "Dan Lindsay A.A.S.C.", respectively, and to insert the linkages to "Ruby Lindsay" and "Daryl Ernest Lindsay", respectively. in the adjacent passages. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  The {{As of}} template uses lower case with the {{{lc}}} parameter. ie
  
  {{As of|2022|6|lc=y}} will give you:
  
  as of June 2022^[update]
  
  What's the point? Well, the template will place the article into a special category that will facilitate further checking to see if something came up.
  
  The AASC just means that he was in the Australian Army Service Corps. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:32, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Third Australian Divisional Squad

Reference required for Frank, Olsen, Robertson, Watt
- RESPONSE: w.r.t. "Frank", I assume you mean Frank Beaurepaire: (a) already well referenced, and (b) linked to his Wikipedia article.
  w.r.t. "Olsson", the reader is clearly directed to look at the preceding section, relating to the goal umpires, where all of the appropriate "Olsson" references are supplied.
  Robertson and Watt, done. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  Links in the lead do not count. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:32, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Saturday, 28 October 1916

Player positions: Reference required for the table. (You can put it after the colon)
For future reference, there is a template, {{Aussie rules team}} just for this purpose
- RESPONSE: Reference fixed. The reason for not using the template in this particular case is that the template demands a coach, and if, as in this case, there's is no coach, the use of the template generates an ugly extra blank line at the bottom of the team table. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Press Reports

Reference required for third paragraph

RESPONSE: done. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Footnotes

When citing a book, you need the page number
In future, consider using the {{cite}} templates. This will future-proof the article, as a Bot will be able to add archive links when the ones in the article decays
- RESPONSE: "passim" inserted for Cheffers & Narleski (2003) because the whole work is relevant. Suggestion on templates noted (BTW all of the TROVE references cited are linked to their permanent URLs). Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  Note that Trove provides you with a Wikipedia reference! If you click on the details button on the left (The i in a circle), citations will come up, including a Wikipedia citation which will look like this:
  {{cite news |url=http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article2152117 |title=SOCIAL EVENTS. |newspaper=[[The Argus (Melbourne)]] |issue=24,647 |location=Victoria, Australia |date=6 August 1925 |accessdate=11 June 2022 |page=10 |via=National Library of Australia}}

If this all seems a bit nit-picky, it is because the article is high quality, and a pleasure to read. Well done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your effort and your guidance. Lindsay658 (talk) 18:31, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Have you read The Oarsmen? It is about an AIF rowing regatta in 1919. I reviewed the book here. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:32, 10 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Some points to consider, but nothing that impedes promotion to GA

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
The Bot doesn't like the official programme and Saturday, 28 October 1916 sections, hence C class, but satisfied that this is referenced inline.

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

C. It contains no original research:

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.